Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Are You Tough Enough....

To Handle the News?????

Ladies.. hold your panties.. take a deep breath..

Are you Ready..
Can you stand it...
Have You Heard.....

New Kids On The Block Stage Comeback
New Kids On The Block Stage Comeback  NKOTB
Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus.. there is a God!!

Ok I'm so kidding... now at least....(not about the comback - that's real)

However back in 1990.. when I was in the 8th grade.. I admit it.. I'm not ashamed.. I was IN LOVE with NKOTB. I had the posters, the cassette tapes, I knew the dance moves and the life history of each and ever yummy Kid.. well except Joey.. even for me he was a bit young then.

In fact.. thanks to one Melissa (formerly Breeden) I was front row center stage at what was at the time probably the most incredibly exciting concert OF MY LIFE! My ticket was actually for the 2nd or 3rd row.. I don't recall, but the seat on the front row directly in front of where I was sitting somehow ended up empty about 1/4 way through the concert.. and you can bet your sweet rat-tail that I ended up in it.. or rather on it.. standing.. on the metal folding chair.. surrounded by thousands of other incoherantly screaming teenage girls.

I even brought a teddy bear to the concert with me that had a tag around it's neck that said, "I Love Jon".. I liked the sweet quiet ones even then lol. Right in the middle of "You've Got the Right Stuff".. where they did that dance move where they swung their legs side to side..I struck!

I threw the bear to the stage (did I mention I played softball, was in fact one of the few girls who could hurl a ball from left field to 1st base) and hit Jon right in the.... well..

I'll just say this.. in less time than it took for the Boys on Stage to get through a chorus of "Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh" I was off the chair and behind at least 3 people hiding. Ok they were about 10 feet above me on stage so I'm sure if he'd been trying hard enough Jon could have spotted me as the gal who however unintentionally had just assaulted his nads with a stuffed animal, but I have to give him credit.. he never missed a beat.. ok well he missed one.. but got right back into the swing of things after only a microsecond of surprise!

Here's the Article on

After months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.

The band's Web site,, which had been dormant, is now back up and running in anticipation of the official announcement, which the source says will be made in the next few weeks.

The site currently features a television graphic with a fuzzy, flickering photos of NKOTB in their heyday, and a link inviting fans to sign up for info.

The boy band, which made legions of tweens swoon in the early '90s, selling more than 50 million albums, became a worldwide phenomenon before calling it quits in 1994.

Eighteen years later, they're still "Hangin' Tough." The oldest "Kid," Jonathan Knight, now a real estate developer, will turn 40 later this year. Since the band's demise, former members Donnie Wahlberg, 38, and Joey McIntyre, 35, have seen acting success, while Danny Wood, 38, has worked as a music producer and Knight's brother, Jordan, 37, has continued to record.

Could you just die??!?!!!!!!!!!?!??!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Say Hello to My Little Friend

This my dear people is my little friend.. These beautiful one inch square bites of rich delectable bitter sweet dark chocolate are not only my friend.. they are my salvation...They are the things of which poetry is written, sonets are sung, rainbows are created...

Not only are they a mouth watering slice of heaven.. they bring wisdom and insight!!

I jest you not! The Proof lies below...

No Truer Words Have Ever Been Spoken!

Is it now? Do you Promise??

Ahhh if I'd only read THIS ONE
before I read the LAST ONE.
I wouldn't need the NEXT ONE!

So much easier said than done..
Don't you agree?

What other creation offers so much.. while asking so little in return??

~Stuck in a job you hate because you're the only female in an office of 3.. the other 2 occupants being 2 men so overly stuffed with testosterone you struggle not to choke on it??

Have a Chocolate

~Roommate tells you she's moving out in 2 weeks because she's getting back with her husband. You can't afford rent by yourself and have no prospects in sight for a replacement roomie??

Have a Chocolate

~After 4 plus years of self imposed solitary confinement (because boys are stupid) you finally take a leap of faith & play nice with a boy, who's everything you ever dreamed of & could easily and joyfully see yourself bearing his children.. only to have it all fall apart because HE has more issues with the nice nice than YOU do?? (I was right.. boys ARE stupid)

Have a Chocolate

~Stuff yourself so full of Taco Bell that you swear you'll projectile vomit a chihuahua because you tried to drown your shattered heart and the loss of everything yo quiero in refried beans and red sauce?

Wait 3 Hours.. Then Have a Chocolate

And guess what.. a serving size.. is FIVE GLORIOUS PIECES!!!

That's five catastrophies, stresses, hurts, angers and general crappiness a day that can all be made better in one sumptuous little piece of nirvana.

Ok maybe they don't make everything really BETTER, but man.. for those few almost orgasmic minutes.. while the bitter sweet richness is slowly melting on your tongue..... you have a moment of hope that everything just might be ok..

Thursday, January 24, 2008

In Your Own Way

I posted a bulletin on myspace this morning of a video I found while browsing blogs that I thought was really cool.. Although I'd watched the video I had the volume off on my computer so I didn't realize there was a song playing in the background..

A friend messaged me to thank me for posting the video - said it touched him.. and asked about the song. So I watched it again.. listening this time.

I'm not sure which touched me more.. the video or the song... the song.. it seems to so perfectly describe something that someone I care deeply about is currently going through.. so to the friend who thanked me for the video.. thank YOU.. if you hadn't asked I'd have missed the song.

Here is the song and lyrics... below the lyrics is the above mentioned video.

I dedicate this to the special man in my life...
You'll find your way through this.. and I love you

In Your Own Way ~ Caleb Kane

Tear out your hair if you can’t bare anymore
It’s the same as yesterday it stays around
Locks the door
See, now here is the fear
That you live with every year
And you wonder if you’ll make it out alive

A change’ll do
A change of scenery’ll free you
But there’s never one way to roll
So find a way to take a picture of a moment
That you know you can’t control

And take a minute to reflect in your own way
Take your time and connect in your own way
I know it’s good to be alone some days
But you got a long face in your own way, baby
I know you got a big heart in your own way
Independent and smart in your own way
And even though you get along somehow
You’re missing out now in your own way, baby

Straight from the gate
You were told not to relate
Or reveal the feelings that could only more complicate
You turned to stone just to feel
Somehow permanent & real
And you hate all those who’d ever dare remind
A lotta little things are coming into focus
And you hope you don’t see ‘em all
A matter of a certain better situation
Lean your weight against the wall


Am I the same as you to a degree?
You stay to wave me through, you make me free
Are we the last ones, then, to see that place,
and when I fall down on my face am I home?


The Video


I drove to work this morning in the rain.... and remembered to breathe the entire time..... Almost... =)

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Unbloggable Blog

Here's to the most wonderfully indescribable 2 days I've ever had in my life, the details of which I will always cherish, never forget and hopefully repeat. =)

I couldn't find the words to describe how I feel.. but I found a song that came pretty close...

Bubbly - Colbie Calait

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile please stay for a while now
just take your time where ever you go

The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile please stay for a while now
just take your time where ever you go

What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile please stay for a while now
just take your time where ever you go

I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Fear & Flash Backs

OK so most of you know that I was in a car accident on Nov 21st. It was raining, there was an accident in front of me and when I tried to stop my brakes locked and I slid into the accident. It had been raining all day, the roads were wet.. it was the first accident I'd ever been in.

Today is the 2nd time I've driven in the rain since the accident. I'm shaking, my stomach is so tense I feel like I'm going to be sick.. my heart is beating so hard it I can see it through my chest. It took every deep breathing exercise I knew not to break into hysterical tears and pull over to the side of the road.

I HATE IT! I've always been a very cautious driver.. always on the offensive, paying attention to what other drivers are doing, checking for places I can pull off if there is an accident or I need to get out of the way of the car behind, beside or in front of me. I've always felt very safe and confident driving.. I may not trust the people in the cars around me, but I trusted myself and I knew I had my safety in mind.

That all changed after the accident. Even during the accident, up until the moment of impact I was calm. I saw the cars in front of me, knew I needed to stop - I'm a certified emergency responder.. my brain goes on auto pilot when I see an accident. Stop, pull over, direct traffic, get my bag from the trunk -gloves, first aid kit, cones, reflective vest.. make sure everyone is ok, call 911. Just automatic relfex.

So when I saw the accident I ended up in, the thought pattern was the same. Even when my brakes locked and I started sliding I though - ok I'll swerve to the left, there are barrels where road construction is being done, the impact will be less. Still rationalizing. Until I realized that once in a slide - turning the wheel doesn't turn the car anymore. I was completely calm until the second I realized I had absolutely no control over what was going to happen and I was going to hit the truck in front of me.

The last thought that went through my head was ah hell this is going to suck! After that.. well I was a wreck - my mind was still trying to do the rational thing - make sure everyone is ok - I was the only person hurt.. and I seemed to have more difficulty than I could understand trying to think through the pain. People kept trying to help me and I couldn't quite get it that I needed to stop and make sure I was ok rather than worry about everyone else.

So today.. on my way to work.. it's raining pretty heavily. The roads are a mess, people are driving like morons and I'm white knuckling the steering wheel the entire way to work. Doing everything I can think of to remember to breathe and not cry. I'm sure I pissed off everyone behind me the entire way to work. I stayed a good 3-4 car lengths behind every car in front of me the entire drive. Even if it meant going a few miles under the speed limit. I've been sitting for 25 minutes now and I'm still shaking. My heart is still pounding so hard my chest hurts. My stomach is in knots. And I hate it.

I hate that one stupid accident has stripped me of the cool calm confidence I've always felt behind the wheel. I hate that something I do every day.. have done every day for the past 15+ years has now become something I have to struggle through if the weather isn't right. I HATE not being in control.. and I hate being afraid.

A really good friend told me this morning - when I was texting him in a panic trying to get my thoughts on anything other than driving in the rain - "At least you didn't let it stop you - It'll get better".

I hope and pray... Lord I hope and pray that he's right...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Excerpts from.....

The following is an excerpt from the book "Home with God; in a Life that Never Ends". Written by Neale Donald Walsch. This is a conversation that took place between Neale and God. In this part of the book Neale asks God the question in the first 2 paragraphs.... what follows was God's answer to him.
It touched me.. and I hope it touches you.

Neale: May I ask you what may seem like a strident question?

God: Certainly

Neale: Why do we have to reach out to you before you reach out to us? If you really are an all-knowing God, then you must know when we need help. If you really are an all-merciful God, then you must be willing to offer that help -- without our asking. If we are already on our knees, bent over in utter defeat, why must we grovel even more and plead with you to rescue us? If you are an all-loving God, why don't you love us enough to help us without us having to beg you?

And while we're at it, what do you say to those who would tell you, "I have called out to you, and you have not been there! Do you think I have not asked for God's help? For God sake, why do you think I'm so desperate! I'm so desperate because it seems like even God has let me down! I'm utterly deserted here. And I want none of it anymore. I'm done. Finished. Through"

What do you say to that person, huh?

God: I say......
I want you to consider now the possibility of a miracle. There is a reason why you have not experienced receiving a solution from me, but that reason is not important in this moment. What is important in this moment is for you to consider the possibility that now, right now in front of you, there is an answer. Open you eyes and you will see it. Open your mind and you will know it. Open your heart and you will feel it there.

I say.....
Only if you call out to me in absolute knowing will you be aware that your answer has been given you. Because it is what YOU know. what YOU feel, and what YOU declare that will be true in your experience. If you call out to me in hopelessness, I will be there, but your despair may blind you, and block you from seeing me.

I say.....
Nothing you have done is so horrible, nothing you have had happen to you is so beyond repair, that it cannot be healed. I can and shall make you whole again.

Yet you must stop judging yourself. the one making the strongest judgment is you. Others may judge you from the outside looking in, but they do not know you, they do not see you, and so their judgments are not valid. Do not make them valid by taking them on as your own. They have no meaning

Do not wait for others to see you as you really are, for they see you through the eyes of their own pain. Know instead, that I see you now, in wonder, and in truth, and that what I see of you is Perfect. As I look upon you I have but one thought: "This is my beloved, in who I am well pleased."

I say....
Forgiveness is not necessary in the Kingdom of God. God cannot be offended or damaged in any way. There is only one question of importance in the entire universe, and it has nothing to do with your guilt or innocence. It has to do with your identity. "Do you know who you really are"? When you do, all thoughts of loneliness disappear, all ideas of unworthiness evaporate, all contemplations of hopelessness transmute into wondrous awareness of the miracle that is your life. And the miracle that is you.

And finally, my beloved I say.....
You are surrounded in this very moment by a hundred thousand angels. Accept, now, their ministrations. And then, pass their gift on to others. For it is in giving that you shall receive, and it is in healing that you shall be healed. The miracle for which you have been waiting has been waiting for you. You will know then when you become the miracle that another awaits.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

The Ins & Outs of ME - per eHarmony

At the suggestion of a friend (after much conversation and debate!) I've decided to embark upon the dreadfully fearful world of internet dating. I've been single for almost 5 years now and well.. it's time.

So I've completed the 234234 questions that makes up eHarmony's registration process and here's what they have to say: I have to admit - most of it is pretty darn accurate!

You are best described as:

Words that describe you:
Fair,Considered, Collaborative , Responsive , Sensible, Diplomatic , Contemplative , Indulgent, Rational

A General Description of How You Interact with Others
You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness. For them, when someone's life is on fire, what is needed is not collaboration but rescue. And the person who experiences their life on fire may resent the time you take to contemplate. "I need you, and I need you NOW! This isn't about fairness, it's about the fire." "All deliberate speed" may seem too deliberate and not fast enough, either to the more compassionate or to people in genuine trouble. At the other end of the spectrum of compassion, those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself. Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they've run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble. Even the tough-hearted, those who believe people should solve their own problems, might come to admire your tenderness which they don't find in themselves. So the people you help will be grateful, and the people who see your balance between self and others will admire you. Certainly, balanced is not bad at all as a way to be known among your friends.

On the Openness Dimension you are:

Words that describe you:
Original, Inventive, Thinker, Brave
Eccentric, Avant-Garde, Out-of-Touch, Unique

A General Description of How You Approach New Information & Experiences:
You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking. You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward Your Style of Thinking:
You drive through life faster than the speed limit, and when you hit speed bumps, and you hit a lot of them with your mind distracted from the straight line ahead your wheels leave the ground. For people who like life at a safer speed, you move too fast and lose touch too often with the solid ground they prefer, hence their discomfort with you. As odd as you might find this, many people feel safe in the shelter of the world they already know. They like the familiar. They breathe easily and sleep deeply knowing with more certainty how the world works. So although they might enjoy your company and be curious about your latest notion of how to count backwards by threes, they can only take you in small doses. And they wish you'd quit trying to push the boundaries of their personal and social cosmos.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You:
Even those whom you make uncomfortable know, as just about everyone does, that you're not a flake. You think well, and even your wildest fancies have their roots in the deep soil of sound ideas and tested beliefs. So even if some people don't want to drive at high speed with you, they will respect you for your courage as an innovative and unconventional thinker. You lend color and imagination to what would otherwise be the straight black and white lines of their work world and social environments. A few more daring people of your circle might even learn from you to take a risk they would otherwise never consider. As comfortable as they are on solid ground, they may be curious about what it would be like to go faster than the speed limit, or paint the living room two shades of blue, or question ideas or beliefs they've fingered like sacred beads since they were children. After all, they watch you do it, and you seem no worse for the risks you take. In fact, your eyes are wider and your breath quicker, and maybe they can find at least a bit of this for themselves. To be certain, they don't want their wheels to leave the ground, but maybe the next time they approach a speed bump they might just brace themselves and speed up just a little bit.

On Emotional Stability you are:

Words that describe you:
Open, Accessible, Too Sensitive,
Reachable, Candid, Unguarded

A General Description of Your Reactivity
You are an emotional person. In some ways, we are all emotional; we feel joy, anger, sadness and fear; some of us more powerfully than others - and you more powerfully than most. Your emotions are closer to the surface, and your feelings more obvious to you than is the case with most people. You've got your life in a good place, your dominant mood is upbeat, and unless life has been particularly trying for you, you greatly enjoy the richness and intensity of life that being so open with your emotions brings you.Sure there are times when your feelings come very close to the surface, and life becomes more complicated. At these times you may grow self-conscious, or feel a bit anxious. But all in all, you much prefer being open with your emotions, breathing in all that life offers, than shutting down any part of your emotional experience. Granted, there may be times when these emotions are hard but you realize that is part of life. And more often than not you feel enriched by your emotions, by your ability to be open to all that life brings you. You know that even when you have those times that get you down, there will be even more times when you see life in ways that others just can't.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
Undoubtedly you have met some people who get uncomfortable being around you because your feelings are so close to the surface. They may keep a bit of distance, especially around any subject that might trigger an emotional topic they are uncomfortable with. Over time, they might even stay away from you more and more. You will find you have decisions to make; do you temper your style for their comfort or do you hope they will find ways to become more comfortable with emotional expressions? Given the richness that seems to stem from your emotional life the most meaningful response is probably very apparent to you.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
You are a cherished companion for those friends who can handle emotions well. They will appreciate the candor with which you express even difficult feelings like anger and fear. Your openness will make intimate conversations even more intimate, and make the connections between you as friends deeper and stronger. Some people who have trouble expressing their feelings might find in you a good example of how to be more vulnerable and more open. Your willingness and ability to share your emotions could encourage them to share theirs, and invite them into ways of being friends that will help enrich their lives.

Your approach toward your obligations is:

Words that describe you:
Orderly, Duty-bound, Driven, Single-minded, Self-disciplined
Cautious, Strategic, Controlling, Logical

A General Description of How You Interact with Others
You are very goal-oriented and driven to achieve your goals. Whether at work or around the house or in small tasks or large projects, you want to know what the goal is. Once you know, you give single-minded attention to developing a plan; you gather and organize resources in an orderly fashion, and discipline yourself to work until the job is done. You will get it done, and done correctly; your attention to detail is one of your most striking characteristics. Whether organizing the garage or the kitchen cupboards or rolling out a new product line at work, you define the goal, think strategically about how to achieve it, and work in an orderly and self-disciplined way to get the job done. You are this way in relationships as well. You know where each person fits into your life, whether as a work colleague, a distant friend or one of your carefully chosen intimate circles. You are usually quite careful to keep each person in what is for you the comfort-zone of your relationship with them. Within that space, you are very loyal to them; you feel duty-bound to take responsibility for your part in the relationship, and you work hard to fulfill whatever you perceive is your obligation to the other person. You get uncomfortable when relationships get messy, such as when someone crosses the line from colleague to friend without your invitation, or when an intimate acts irresponsibly and compromises your trust in them. With people, as with work, you prefer an orderly world.

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
For some people, the first thing that comes to mind about you is "control freak." They see your careful plans and your disciplined drive to accomplish your goals and worry that there's no flexibility in you, either toward yourself or toward others. Being duty-bound and single-minded, two of your strongest qualities, may seem to others to slide too easily into rigid and unbending; what you experience as appropriate caution they might experience as your intolerance of someone else's novel plans or less-than-orderly route toward of strategies aimed at achieving a common goal. Friends with a more psychological bent might look at you and think "fear." They could see your desire to control yourself and your encounters with others as an unwillingness to let what is inside you come out spontaneously, as if there's something dark in there that you don't want to look at. They may also conclude that you are afraid of others, especially those who are different from you in temperament or self-discipline. They may come to believe that you want to control your interactions with others out of fear that what's inside of them is too messy or too disorderly.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
Almost everyone will agree and admire you for getting stuff done; when you set your mind to something, you move with controlled energy toward a goal and accomplish it. So if they need someone to do a job, they know they can count on you. Others may be very comfortable with your predictable temperament and behavior. With you there are few surprises, either in your work world or your social life. You show up on time, ready to take part, and you work hard and stay the course until the end, whether in a job, a committee meeting or a gathering of friends. Many people will admire the quality of your character. There is no mess in you or around you. You say what you believe, live by what you say, and are as consistent as the sunrise. This clarity will make you easy to be with for those who are comfortable with an orderly, somewhat predictable world.

When it comes to Extraversion you are:

Words that describe you:
Moderate, Amiable, Laid-back, Temperate, Relaxed
Poised, Civil, Uncommitted, Pleasant

A General Description of How You Interact with Others
Lucky you! You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends. You also equally enjoy your own company, whether sitting in a favorite chair with your book and soft music playing or meandering in the woods by yourself. You like coming home to your family or your roommate; but if no one is home, you find quiet, solitary time to be just as pleasurable. What a great combination to enjoy being outgoing and to be just as comfortable being reserved. Lucky you!! Because you are so amiable and relaxed, you are comfortable with almost any group of family or friends. Whether they are pumped up and lively or calm and subdued, you remain at ease. If someone needs to take over the conversation, you are comfortable taking the lead; you can also lay back and let someone else be in charge. If the conversation gets rowdy, your moderate demeanor will often draw it down to a more temperate level. If someone in the group loses their cool, you will most likely maintain your poise, and if they get nasty you know how to keep a civil tongue. You may find yourself out of balance on occasion. If you're alone too much, you may need to get in touch with someone. If you spend too much time with your family and friends, you may need to sneak off for a day by yourself, to putter and read and clear your head of the noise of too much conversation. When you're at your best, you live with a rhythm of time with others, time alone, time with others, time alone It's a satisfying, comfortable balance. Lucky you!

Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You
You may occasionally run into problems with other people. Since not everyone is as balanced as you are, close friends and family may get frustrated with you, or you with them. They may be more sociable and outgoing, and find you too laid-back and relaxed. They want conversations to be lively and passionate while you keep things amiable and civil. Or others may be more quiet and reserved than you, and when you're in one of your more animated moments they may wish you would back off. You may be ready to put more energy into a conversation than they are comfortable with. And your balance may be a problem. Other people may be consistently more sociable or more reserved than you, and find you to hard to read, some may even say you ride the fence. Others may find themselves envious of your ability to be outgoing at times, and at other times comfortably reserved. If you pay attention to pick up these cues you will be in a better position to know how you want to interact with such folks.

Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You
Most people will truly appreciate your flexibility in social situations. They will like you for your amiable warmth and your willingness to engage, and for your ability to sit back and let others take the lead or the spotlight. They will appreciate ways in which you temper what could become intemperate moments; by remaining poised and relaxed when others; temperatures are rising, you keep things civil and sane. You are as good at listening and following as you are at talking and leading, and people will often appreciate your ability to adapt to the situation. Because you are sometimes outgoing and sometimes reserved, you will make most people comfortable in your presence, and they will truly enjoy your company

Monday, January 07, 2008

Coincidence or more?

Have you ever had a repetitive dream about someone? Maybe an old friend, a new friend, or family member? Was it someone you talked to regularly or someone you'd lost touch with?

I rarely have dreams about people I know. Every once in a while I'll have one random dream about an old friend from school, but it's very rare and always only happens once. I usually take it to mean I should contact that person - if for nothing else than to make contact & see how they are.

For a little over 4 years I've been dreaming - repetitively about a guy I went to school with. I'll call him "George". I was good friends with him and his brother and like most of the people I went to school with, lost touch after I graduated. It's never the same dream, it's not one of "those" kinds of dreams lol, nothing sexual or perverse. Just dreams.

The last time I had talked to "George" was I think in 2000, I was in town visiting and stopped by his house. He gave me his # and I think we may have talked a few times on the phone but then lost contact again. Over the past several years there have been many things and times when something random would remind me of him. In high school his family had a dog named Jacobi. Jacobi liked me... a lot lol. Well one day last year, I'd had several dreams about him, I was flipping channels and came across a show on MTV called Scarred. It's video clips of people getting into accidents - gruesome, bloody accidents from bike or skateboard stunts usually. I never watch MTV, literally never, most of what they show is garbage - but I love gore lol so I stopped on the channel to watch the show. Guess what the host's of the show name was?.. Jacobi. I'd never heard that name before my friends dog, and hadn't ever heard it since.

I'd tried several times to get in contact with "George". The numbers he'd given me 7 years ago no longer worked and no one I knew from school still talked to him. And the dreams continued.

Well last week, another old friend from high school and I ended up in contact after a few years via MySpace. I'll call this one "Bob". We sent a few messages back and forth and one night last week I had a dream.. with Bob in it.. in the dream.. Bob.. was taking me to see George, who I've been dreaming about for years. Odd. To my knowledge they didn't even know each other. Well the friend I'd been chatting with on MySpace and I used to hang out alot with a friend who I keep in contact with about once or twice a year. We'll call this friend "Tom". Talking to Bob got me thinking that I hadn't talked to Tom since last year so I decided to give him a call.

I didn't think he did, but I asked Tom if he remembered George from school, and I explained that I'd been dreaming about him etc. Tom says - I just talked to him 3 days ago - want his number? What are the odds.. I mean really, what are the odds that I get back in contact with an old friend, who reminds me that I hadn't talked to another old friend in a while, then that that old friend just happened to have recently talked to the friend I've been dreaming about and trying to get in contact with for 4 years?!? And not only recently talked to him, but had his phone number.

So I called George and we chatted for a while, I very anxiously told him about how I'd been dreaming about him for years and assured him that the dreams were not uhh sexual in nature lol. I had an overwhelming fear that George would get all weirded out and say uhh ok.. that's nice gotta go! He didn't. Not even a little.

Why am I wondering what all this means, you may be asking. Well let me explain the nature of most of the dreams I have about George...Well first let me tell you a bit about George himself. If I had to describe my dream guy - well.. he's it. Smart, funny, compassionate, sarcastic, genuine.. he has a smile that literally lights up a room and eyes so incredibly blue you could literally drown in them. We've never been anything but friends, good friends, but just friends. Other than thinking he was an all around terrific guy I never thought about him in any kind of romantic or relationship kinda way. Now about my dreams.

There's only one way that comes to mind when I try to describe how the dreams feel and I'm not sure it makes sense but it's the only description I can come up with that works. When I dream about George he feels like Home to me. Not like visiting your parents and feeling that the place where you grew up was home. But like - when you think about love and how you feel about the person you want to spend your life with and how you want to feel when you look at them kind of home. Like in the arms of that person everything - everything is just - right. Safe, happy, peaceful, content, perfect - Home. In my dreams George is - Home.

In the dream I had last week, Bob and I were walking down the hallway of my old high school. I asked Bob where we were going and he just says - He'll be here in a minute. I'm like uh ok, thinking who?. Bob walks off and I keep going and around the corner waiting is.. George. I walk up to him, he hugs me and I feel... Home.

Don't ask me to explain it - I truly wish I could - I'm at a total loss. I've never been someone who tried to read too deeply into dreams. Once in a while I'll have one that I can tell immediately is very symbolic of something that is happening or has happened in my life -and the dream is a way of helping me deal or understand that. Those dreams are usually pretty easy to understand and interpret. But for the most part my dreams are just random. I mean I've dreamed episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Dawson's Creek for crying out loud lol. Ya I watched both shows religiously. I can admit it - lol I'm not ashamed.

But George is the ONLY person I've ever dreamed about more than once and his dreams are the the only dreams that have had a consistent theme to them.

My little brother lives not far from George and I'd planned to spend the weekend with my brother in a few weeks to visit. George suggested we get together, do something, just hang out & who knows. That he wasn't freaked out about what I told him - I don't know how I feel about that, or that he suggested getting together. He's not looking for a relationship - he said as much. He also said he knew that a relationship wasn't what I was asking for or why I'd told him about my dreams, he just wanted me to know where he was in life. His MySpace heading says "Waiting".. that's it.

I know he makes me smile & I could look at him for ever and never tire of it. I know everything has a reason and a purpose to it - although I have no idea what it could be (ok maybe I have a hope, but I'm not trying to read too much into anything). But other than that.. I have no idea.

If anyone happens to be fairly adept and accurate at interpreting things like this I'd love your feedback.

Until then...

I'll see you in my dreams
Mollie =)