I finally got tired of not knowing and e-mailed one of the casting directors for The Biggest Loser to see if I could get an update and I got the following reply e-mail.
Thank you so much for opening up to our casting team and sharing so much of your life with us. Unfortunately, you were not selected as a finalist for season 9. As you know, in the end the network has the final say in selecting the finalists and cast members.
I encourage you to lose the weight on your own. You CAN do it!!
Thank you for the time you have spent during this process and for all your hard work. We truly appreciate it and wish you the best.
Angelic & The Biggest Loser Crew
I can honestly say that I'm not really upset about not getting picked. When I first started the audition process I was excited, anxious and a little nervous, but as time went by the thrill of possibly being on TV waned. Life took over and the idea of being away from Matthew and not seeing my nieces for possibly 4 months made the idea of being on the show less and less appealing, and four months is how long I'd be gone for filming if I made it to the end of the show.
So I'm not really bummed or upset about not being chosen. As for why I didn't get picked.. well they don't tell you that but my best guess would be because I auditioned as an individual and this season's show is for couples. They tell you to audition anyway even if you don't have a friend or family member to try out with you, so maybe they didn't come across another individual they though I'd make a good partner with. Who knows. It was an interesting experience any way.
I kind of wish I was more sad about it though... that would be preferable to this damn apathetic ditch I've somehow managed to fall into.
As for my progress on the weight loss front - I won't tell you what I do weigh but I wills say that I've managed to gain back 10 of the 17 pounds I'd lost in the first round of Operation Muffin Top(ple). I got really sick with some kind of virus on steroids a few weeks ago and just haven't felt like doing much of anything but eating comfort food. So there's been a lot of pizza and ice cream in my house the past few weeks.
All that changed this weekend though. Matthew and I were watching a show on Discovery last week and they were talking to people who were on different kind of extreme diets. There was a couple who lived on the CR Way - CR being calorie restriction. I know, extreme right? Then there was a lady who called herself a freegan, which means she dumpster dived outside of restaurants and grocery stores for all of her food. Sounds disgusting but you'd be surprised at some of the perfectly fine, unused, unopened, unexpired food she found. I don't remember what the third person's diet was but the last one was a raw foodist.
They lived and ate this way full time though so diet isn't really the right word, but one of the people they interviewed caught our eye so after talking about it and doing some research we've decided to convert to an all raw food diet.
By 'all' I mean about 95 percent, and by 'raw' well I mean exactly that - food that hasn't been cooked. Now we're not going to go all crazy and start tearing into raw slabs of beef or chicken. Fish is the only 'meat' we're keeping in our diet and we've decided that even cooked fish is something that really just can't be bad for you, although we will include sushi as well. But other than the fish, and brown rice, which is something else I like too much to give up, we're basically going to eat nothing but raw fruits and veggies. We'll also have legumes (beans) and granola as well as nuts and seeds.
It sounds extreme but the research I did makes sense to me. Cooking food alters the chemical make up and lessens the nutrients you receive from the food you eat. One of the articles I read used this analogy -
Fire kills. What has ever been increased or made 'more' by setting it to flame? If you set your house on fire does it get bigger? Better? No. It's destroyed. Heating food kills it. Period. It really is that simple. So what sense does it make to try and support and sustain a living vessel (your body) by putting dead things in it? It doesn't.
The other thing I read that stood out to me talked about the evolution of man. Animals, plants, every living organism on the planet except for humans live off of raw food in their natural habitat. Tigers don't toss their prey over an open flame before digging in. And as a human I just really can't imagine myself tearing through the woods and taking down an animal to rip it's neck out with my teeth. We're just not built that way.. and we're not built that way for a reason. We're really not meant to eat meat.
As we evolved and people got more curious (and lazy) we started putting crap in our bodies that really didn't need to be there. I say lazy because it's really easy to throw a burger on the grill. It takes work and preparation to make a great salad. And ya know what? I'm ok with that. I don't mind working for my food. I don't mind spending some time cutting lettuce and peppers and tomatoes and whatever other kind of vegetable I decide to eat to properly fuel my body. I enjoy using cool kitchen tools to make melon balls and cut my fruit into fun interesting shapes.
So Friday after I got home from work Matthew and I emptied out the kitchen. Every processed food, every item that needed to be cooked to eat, we loaded up in bags and brought to my sister in MS. When we left to go visit my family the only thing in our kitchen was a half of a head of lettuce, some pineapple, a jar of olives and a box of granola cereal. If the junk isn't in the house - You Can't Eat It.
Saturday night when we got home we went to the store and loaded up on fruits and veggies and haven't looked back. Last night for dinner we had a bowl of watermelon. And you know what? It was great! We ate until we didn't feel the need to eat anymore and we were satisfied without having that 'full' feeling we normally have after eating. This morning I had some granola cereal with rice milk and today for lunch I'll have more watermelon and an orange. Tonight I'll have a piece of lightly baked fish and a huge salad.
I have to say there really is a mind set change that has to happen before you can do something like this. And I'm not sure what triggered mine, but I just got tired of feeling weighed down. Not just by the extra weight I'm carrying but by the food I put in my body. Even eating a piece of baked chicken, which is supposedly sooo healthy, leaves me feeling heavy afterwards. Well that might be because I've basically put a lump of dead meat in my stomach. It's just not natural.
So I've decided to get back to basics and make eating a means of survival. As the saying goes "You should eat to live, not live to eat". I'll still enjoy what I eat but I won't eat because I feel like I'll just die if I don't have that piece of pizza or bowl of ice cream, I'll eat because my body needs fuel and energy and food is a means of accomplishing that.
At first I was worried about feeling deprived but I really don't think that's going to be an issue. I've found loads of recipes for all raw ice cream using mint and cocoa and almond milk. We haven't drank regular milk in months, so using rice or almond milk will be more normal to us rather than seem like a substitute. Fruit is naturally sweet and works wonders and taking care of a sweet tooth and vegetables are cool and crunchy making not only great meals, but fantastic healthy snacks as well.
The never again eating a nice hot meal thing had me worried for a minute too but something I read tamped down that concern as well. We don't really need hot food to keep us warm. Think about this before you argue with me - it's winter and you get in a nice steaming hot shower to warm up - then you get out and what happens? You freeze your ass off until you can get some clothes on. But have you ever had to take a cold shower? When you get out you feel fresh and invigorated and not. the. slightest. bit. cold.
And I'll leave you to think about that...
Until next time =)