Equally Yoked - or How My Buddhist Husband Brought Me Closer to God

I am a Christian. A grew up in church, saved and baptized when I was 13, born again at 25, filled with the Holy Spirit - evidence of tongues - Christian. My husband is Buddhist.

When my husband and I met he was studying Buddhism but had not fully immersed himself into the religion so it didn't bother me much. After all, we all get a little side tracked now and then, but he'd grown up Christian and we loved the same God.

But as our relationship progressed and he became more dedicated to the Buddhist path the dogma of my Christian upbringing and youth spent in church began to cause me a bit of uncertainty.

I was never one of those girls who grew up planning their wedding. I never imagined what my husband would look like, or what kind of flowers I'd have. I didn't spend hours picturing our first dance or how my hair would be styled. Those things just never really mattered to me. I did have one picture of a dress torn out of a magazine that I tucked away for that special day but that was the extent of my 'when I get married' fervor.

When it came to getting married, there was one thing though that did matter. One thing that I knew would be an all or nothing stipulation for my groom to be and that was that we would be 'equally yoked'.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

My husband and I would both be Christians, go to church together, pray and read the Bible together and love the same God.

So as Matthew and I became more serious I started to worry about how 'unequally yoked' we appeared to be. I believed in Jesus... he followed Buddha. And that's where I got hung up. But our relationship progressed, we got engaged and as any 'good Christian' wife-to-be would do, I began praying for his conversion or 'return to God' in time for the wedding.

I've always had a slightly different view on God and the Bible than most Christians I know.. some things I'd been taught just didn't add up with the God I knew in my spirit but that yoking thing was apparently drilled in pretty deep because it really started to wear on me. But I had faith and was sure he'd 'come around' and everything would be fine. I mean he grew up in a Christian home.. his dad was a Southern Baptist minister for crying out loud.

No go back... you didn't say that right...drop your voice an octave......

slow down.....

and try again.. 

Suuuuthernnn Baptist. There you go. We're talking DEEP South Southern. 

To the point where if Matthew was caught trying to read a book about another religion his parents would take it and properly scold him about the dangers of letting in demons and the like by reading anything other than 'Godly' material. So I thought surely this Buddhist thing was just a fad.. a lingering rebellion and he'd snap out of it and go back to being a Jesus freak like me.

What I didn't know then.. and has taken me almost 3 years to realize is that He loved Jesus and God the same way I did all along. He worshiped the same God. We had the SAME beliefs. He just used a different method on his path to spiritual growth than I did.

I recently had an extended Facebook debate with a Christian friend who is the exact same as I was back before I decided to stop putting God in a box and let Him be GOD. She in short 'educated' me about how Buddhists worship Buddha as their God, and how they thought Jesus was 'below' Buddha and how she had no need or desire to read about any religion other than her own and from no other book than the Bible because that's what a Christian was supposed to do.

Needless to say I failed in my attempt to help her see how grossly incorrect she was in pretty much every statement she made because even though she'd never read one single thing about Buddhism she knew all she needed to know about it because she read the Bible.. and that gave her the right and authority to tell me (I'm paraphrasing here) that my husband - and I by proxy - was going to hell for worshipping false Gods and that she'd pray I found my way back to the 'real' God. Because apparently mine was fake.

It made me sad... for her.. and for myself - because I'd been just like her for so many years.

Blind in my 'faith' and unyielding in my views. Funny how easy it is for us to skip over or completely forget what the Bible actually says when it suits us... I mean I'm pretty sure Jesus said that we should Study and show ourselves approved.

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. "  (2 Tim. 2:15, KJV).

Our different faiths actually caused some problems the first year of our marriage.. I wanted a strong spiritual head of my home.. a husband that 'led me' in the right path who sat down and read the Bible and prayed with me and Matthew's Buddhist practice of meditation and mantras just wasn't giving me that. It wasn't that he didn't try... he did... it was that I wanted him to believe like I did and anything else just wasn't good enough.

Thank God (literally) that I've always been open to His voice and leading - even when I wasn't open to anyone else and I finally realized that I was being selfish. I wanted my husband to follow my faith my way yet I couldn't even be bothered to so much as read a webpage about his... his faith and spiritual practice that was just as important to him as mine was to me and here I was completely disregarding it because it didn't fit in the box I'd put God in.

It was hard but I finally opened my mind to learning something knew and in the process I found my heart opening more to God. The same God I grew up learning about and loving in small town Southern (did you say it right this time) Baptist church. Learning about Buddhism didn't make me a Buddhist, or less of a 'Christian'. It didn't take away from my faith and it wasn't going to condemn me to the fiery depths of hell.

What it did was open my eyes to how amazingly big and wonderful God truly is. God can't be put in a box.. and just because I call him 'God' and you call him 'Dios' doesn't mean we're not worshiping the same marvelous Creator.

This is a slight segway in this particular post so I'm only going to mention it briefly but I feel it warrants attention. You may have noticed that I spelled God in both English and Spanish as explanation that people may call God by a different name but He's still the same God....

Allah... is GOD in Arabic... it literally translates to 'the God'. Little mind blowing trivial for the Muslim haters out there. Same GOD.. different LANGUAGE.

Now back to Jesus...

By being open to actually educating myself about something I was unfamiliar with I learned that the core teachings of Buddha and Jesus are almost identical. In fact - Buddha taught those same core teachings a few hundred years before Jesus was ever born. If they'd lived in the same time I fully believe they would have been best of friends and brothers in their mission to bring the world to enlightenment through peace and love. 

Now I personally claim Christianity as my 'religion' because it was Jesus who led me to God.. it was through Jesus' story that I learned who God was and developed the amazing relationship that I have with my Creator today. For my husband.. it was Buddha's teachings that brought him to that place.

He doesn't worship a different God than I do... he doesn't discredit Jesus for what He did by dying on the cross. He's not anti-Christian or a lost sinner because he's Buddhist. His journey to God just took a different fork in the road than mine did.

.... The important thing to know here is that this forked road didn't take us on to separate paths... it brought us to the same one.

I now have a closer relationship with God than ever and my husband and I, both as individuals and as a couple, are growing leaps and bounds in our spiritual walk. A walk we're taking together.

The Surrender Box

Or Letting go and Letting GOD.

Several years ago a church I attended had a visualization practice that went along with that Sunday's message which was about letting go of all the 'baggage' we carry around with us. The things we can't control, can't change and aren't helping ourselves our anyone else by holding on to.

Christians - heck people in general are famous for saying we've 'gotten over' past issues or let something go only to pick that thing back up and continue carrying it with us into our future. We'd rather hold on to hurt, anger, regret and punish ourselves with what could have, should have, would have been than accepting events in our lives for what they are and moving on to all the blessings we've yet to step in to.

The exercise we did that Sunday was a really neat way to help permanently let go some of those things we all hold on to.

Scattered over the steps at the alter were small red bricks and black sharpies. The pastor invited members of the congregation to come up, get a brick and a marker and write all the things in our lives we've wanted to give to God but for whatever reason just hadn't been able to let go of.

After covering your brick with those things you returned to the steps, knelt, prayed, and left your brick - and issues on the alter for God to take care of.

The action of physically leaving the brick there with all of your deepest secrets penned on it was symbolic of setting aside all those things you've been carrying for so long and leaving them behind, getting up fresh and renewed.

I can tell you there wasn't an unwritten space left on my brick and as I prayed over those hurts, angers, issues and the tears fell on the brick wetting the words I'd written I felt a weight lift from my shoulders that had been holding me down for a very long time.

I can't say that every past issue I had just magically stopped bothering me - I had way too much baggage for it to be that easy, but I can say that at least some of the scars healed and some of the anger faded.

Today's DailyOM is very similar to the exercise we did at church that day and a practice I think we may begin at home.

A Place for Worries and Fears

A surrender box is a tool to let go of our burdens so the universe can take care of them for us.

There are times when our minds become too full. Our to-do lists, worries, plans, and dreams may be so crowded together in our heads that we don’t have room to think. We may believe that we are somehow taking care of our desires and concerns by keeping them at the forefront of our minds. In maintaining our mental hold on every detail, however, we may actually delay the realization of our dreams and the resolution of our worries because we won’t let them go. At times such as these, we may want to use a surrender box.

A surrender box allows us to let go of our worries and desires so the universe can take care of them for us. We write down what we want or need to happen and then place the note into a box. By writing and placing our thoughts in the box, we are taking action and letting the universe know we need help and are willing to surrender our feelings. We give ourselves permission to not concern ourselves with that problem any longer and trust that the universe is taking care of it. You may even want to decorate your box and place it in a special place. Your surrender box is a sacred container for your worries. Not only do you free up space in your mind by letting go of our worries and desires and dropping them into your surrender box, but you are giving your burden over to a higher power. Once we drop our worries and desires into the surrender box, we free our minds so we can be fully present in each moment.

Surrendering our worries and concerns and placing them in the hands of the universe doesn’t mean that we’ve given up or have been defeated. Instead, we are releasing the realization of our desires and the resolution of our worries and no longer concerning ourselves with their outcomes. It’s always fun to go back and pull the slips of paper out of the box once your requests have been granted. And it’s amazing how quickly problems go away and dreams come true when we finally let go and allow a higher power to help us.

The Surrender Box is a great idea even if you're not a Christian. Most people believe that there is something out there. Some higher power that guides us all, so whether it's God, Allah, Buddha, Krishna, The Goddess or whom or what ever you believe in, the Surrender Box is something everyone can use.

Another great thing about this is it isn't just for adults. Kids today have so many stresses and worries that it's unhealthy. Not only do they worry about what is going on in school, with their friends, they pick up on what's going on at home too. Creating a family surrender box can be a great way to help them feel involved in what's bothering mom and dad and take an active part in helping with it.

Now I'm not saying you should burden your children with all of the stresses of being a parent, but if there are some small things - like wanting dad to get a raise, or issues with the car - little things that a kid can understand - talking to them about what's going on can not only help them understand the stresses or tensions they are most likely picking up on but help them feel more a part of what's going on in their lives and the family as a whole.

And including them in the creation of your family surrender box can be a fun family craft time!

So... what are you surrendering today?

More than words...

Yesterday I received 2 emails that robbed rendered me speechless.

One was on myspace from someone I've never met and rarely spoken to online- she reads my blog. The other was on facebook from someone I went to high school with -but again, rarely speak to.

I'm always amazed that people read the stuff I write. I'm even more amazed when the scramble that is my life somehow inadvertently touches the life of another.

The first email was in response to my New LIFE Resolution post yesterday.

I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoy reading your blogs. You're funny, informative, and entertaining! I'm glad I met you via myspace. I realized after I read your blog today that you and I are a lot alike. I too have not been making friends for the past several years. I'm outgoing and friendly, but for some reason I just haven't met any women that I want to get to know better. At work most of the women there are all fake or they stab you in the back to move up the work ladder.

I haven't had a best girlfriend for about 6 years and I really miss having that girl time. I never go out with anyone but my husband and sometimes some of his friends. Anyway, I was thinking that maybe sometime you'd like to get together and hang out. Are you still living in Mobile? If you are, I head over that way pretty often. We could get a bite to eat, go for a walk, or grab a coffee or something. You seem pretty open to meeting new people online so that's why I asked. I need to open myself up to making new friends also. If you're not comfortable with meeting I totally understand. I'm also fine with just communicating online.
Talk to you later!

I'm a bit torn on this one - b/c I've never really gotten along with women well. In HS I had one 'good' female friend, and in the 15yrs since graduating have only had one 'close' female friend and we never hang out or get together. But she knows me inside and out and there's not much I wouldn't tell her - from the other end of the phone lol.

I wrote her back though and said sure - let's hang out.

Part of my New LIFE Resolution is about stepping outside of my comfort zone, branching out into new areas of life that most people don't think twice about. Meeting people is one of those areas for me.

What really touched me though is that by me sharing my life - my fears, my goals - I've somehow helped someone else feel brave enough to step out and try something they've not done in a while. That's pretty awesome

The 2nd email - I'm not even sure if she follows my blog not, and if not - then it's even more awe inspiring b/c the only thing she's had to go by are my 'status updates' on facebook.

You and I have never REALLY talked, but I want to tell you how much of an inspiration you are to me. We are so similar in the way we deal with things but unlike you, I am only now coming back to Christ. I guess having a marriage plunking into the toilet would have that affect on someone(that or I'd get drunk every day!! It HURTS!!). I've never had this kind of relationship with Christ even when I was a regular churchgoer. It helps me to be at peace despite the circumstances, at least most days. Anyway, don't mind my rambling, just know that you make a difference in my life and you are on my mind. Thank you, Mollie.

I've never in my wildest imaginations thought of myself as someone who's faith was strong enough to, not only got ME through hard times, but help someone ELSE get through them as well. That blows my mind - robs me of words.

I am in AWE at the marvelous power of God to work through me - in spite of me.

To you ladies who write to say I've somehow touched your lives - Thank YOU, because you've touched mine so much more.

2009 is already shaping up to be one hella fantastic year - and it hasn't even gotten here yet!!

Faith, Hope and LOVE

I have a new favorite song. It's possible I've heard it before today, but if I did it didn't 'catch' and stick with me.

A lot of things have been going on in my life these days, one of which is PT. Although calling him a 'thing' doesn't seem very nice. It's more the situation I find myself in with him, than him that I'm referring to. I've been down and stressed and feeling really unsure of myself lately as a result of not understanding the whole situation or having any idea where it's going or how to proceed.

Well last night he did something that would seem so small and insignificant to most, but it was a big thing for me, and I think definitely a step forward for him. No, I'm not going to tell you what it was lol. Anyway, it made me smile and I just got this sense of peace that no matter how it all turned out that everything was going to be ok.

Then on the way to work this morning I heard this song. It just fit with everything I was feeling and I took it as sort of a confirmation that I was going in the right direction. I apologize about the crummy quality of the video but it's the only one I could find of the actual band singing. The band is Addison Road, and the song is Hope Now. Lyrics are below the video. I hope you like it.

If everything comes down to love

Then just what am I afraid of

When I call out Your name

Something inside awakes in my soul

How quickly I forget I'm Yours

(PRE-CHORUS)

I'm not my own

I've been carried by You

All my life

(CHORUS)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm

Rising waters all I want is the shore

You say I'll be ok and

Make it through the rain

You are my shelter from the storm

(PRE-CHORUS)

I'm not my own

I've been carried by You

All my life

(CHORUS)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

(CHORUS 2)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire

I will sing Your praises higher

Cause Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

Never let go

I went to a new church this morning. The praise & worship was good, the pastor was funny and I really enjoyed myself. I also balled my eyes out. Church seems to have that effect on me.

Something about being there, hearing the pastor say things that you've thought in the deepest part of your mind seems to loose an emotional tidal wave in me.

Today's post is going to be short and sweet. I've got a lot on my mind and don't really feel like typing, I know odd for me, but I did want to share the basics of today's Message.

"Fight for the Promise, wait for the Promise and don't give up too soon"

Basically what that is saying is that if God has ever promised you something, in a prayer, or a Word or a prophesy and you're still waiting for it. Keep waiting. Don't give up. There are a few really big things God promised me many years ago that I'm still waiting on and I've come more than close to giving up more than a few times.

One of the examples the pastor used to explain how important not giving up and just waiting on God is was the story of Joshua and the walls of Jericho. God told Joshua to march around the city for 7 days, then on the 7th day march around 7 times. What if Joshua had gotten to the 6th day and was like "Man this is just bogus, I've been walking around this dang wall for almost a week and nothing has happened. I give up. I'm going home."

What would have happened is he would have missed the victory. Too many times we want fast food promises and results from God. We've become such a drive through nation that we want everything quick and easy and sometimes the gifts and blessings God has for us just aren't drive through available.

Another thing the pastor said today was that when it comes to Promises from God sometimes you have to "Pray for it like it's up to God, but work for it like it's up to you", which I thought was pretty insightful. Too often we want to just say a little prayer asking God for whatever it is we want, then we just go about our business like normal, not changing anything in our lives fully expecting God to just drop our request in our lap because we asked.

If we wanted something that we knew the only way to get was to work for it, then you know good and well you'd be picking up extra shifts for extra money, or working out a little more to fit into that dress, or whatever you knew you needed to do to get what you wanted. Why should getting things we want from God be any different? I don't think it should be. Sometimes we have to toil and work to get to where WE need to be before God can give us what He has for us.

There are things in my life that I long for more than air.. God has promised me these things and I'm still waiting. Evidently I'm not where I need to be in order for Him to bring those promises to fruition. So I wait. Yes it sucks, it hurts, it's hard and sometimes it just breaks my heart in two but I stand on what He's promised me and I wait. Because the second that I let go of hope and belief in the things He's promised me is the second I let go of my will and reason for living.

Anyway, I've already passed the short part that I mentioned in the beginning but the message is still pretty sweet. At least I think so.

Oh and I'm also leaving you with another (less angry looking) picture of my new hair slaughter. I know it will take a few weeks to grow on me, heck to grow period, but it's hair and it will grow.