Equally Yoked - or How My Buddhist Husband Brought Me Closer to God

I am a Christian. A grew up in church, saved and baptized when I was 13, born again at 25, filled with the Holy Spirit - evidence of tongues - Christian. My husband is Buddhist.

When my husband and I met he was studying Buddhism but had not fully immersed himself into the religion so it didn't bother me much. After all, we all get a little side tracked now and then, but he'd grown up Christian and we loved the same God.

But as our relationship progressed and he became more dedicated to the Buddhist path the dogma of my Christian upbringing and youth spent in church began to cause me a bit of uncertainty.

I was never one of those girls who grew up planning their wedding. I never imagined what my husband would look like, or what kind of flowers I'd have. I didn't spend hours picturing our first dance or how my hair would be styled. Those things just never really mattered to me. I did have one picture of a dress torn out of a magazine that I tucked away for that special day but that was the extent of my 'when I get married' fervor.

When it came to getting married, there was one thing though that did matter. One thing that I knew would be an all or nothing stipulation for my groom to be and that was that we would be 'equally yoked'.

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

My husband and I would both be Christians, go to church together, pray and read the Bible together and love the same God.

So as Matthew and I became more serious I started to worry about how 'unequally yoked' we appeared to be. I believed in Jesus... he followed Buddha. And that's where I got hung up. But our relationship progressed, we got engaged and as any 'good Christian' wife-to-be would do, I began praying for his conversion or 'return to God' in time for the wedding.

I've always had a slightly different view on God and the Bible than most Christians I know.. some things I'd been taught just didn't add up with the God I knew in my spirit but that yoking thing was apparently drilled in pretty deep because it really started to wear on me. But I had faith and was sure he'd 'come around' and everything would be fine. I mean he grew up in a Christian home.. his dad was a Southern Baptist minister for crying out loud.

No go back... you didn't say that right...drop your voice an octave......

slow down.....

and try again.. 

Suuuuthernnn Baptist. There you go. We're talking DEEP South Southern. 

To the point where if Matthew was caught trying to read a book about another religion his parents would take it and properly scold him about the dangers of letting in demons and the like by reading anything other than 'Godly' material. So I thought surely this Buddhist thing was just a fad.. a lingering rebellion and he'd snap out of it and go back to being a Jesus freak like me.

What I didn't know then.. and has taken me almost 3 years to realize is that He loved Jesus and God the same way I did all along. He worshiped the same God. We had the SAME beliefs. He just used a different method on his path to spiritual growth than I did.

I recently had an extended Facebook debate with a Christian friend who is the exact same as I was back before I decided to stop putting God in a box and let Him be GOD. She in short 'educated' me about how Buddhists worship Buddha as their God, and how they thought Jesus was 'below' Buddha and how she had no need or desire to read about any religion other than her own and from no other book than the Bible because that's what a Christian was supposed to do.

Needless to say I failed in my attempt to help her see how grossly incorrect she was in pretty much every statement she made because even though she'd never read one single thing about Buddhism she knew all she needed to know about it because she read the Bible.. and that gave her the right and authority to tell me (I'm paraphrasing here) that my husband - and I by proxy - was going to hell for worshipping false Gods and that she'd pray I found my way back to the 'real' God. Because apparently mine was fake.

It made me sad... for her.. and for myself - because I'd been just like her for so many years.

Blind in my 'faith' and unyielding in my views. Funny how easy it is for us to skip over or completely forget what the Bible actually says when it suits us... I mean I'm pretty sure Jesus said that we should Study and show ourselves approved.

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. "  (2 Tim. 2:15, KJV).

Our different faiths actually caused some problems the first year of our marriage.. I wanted a strong spiritual head of my home.. a husband that 'led me' in the right path who sat down and read the Bible and prayed with me and Matthew's Buddhist practice of meditation and mantras just wasn't giving me that. It wasn't that he didn't try... he did... it was that I wanted him to believe like I did and anything else just wasn't good enough.

Thank God (literally) that I've always been open to His voice and leading - even when I wasn't open to anyone else and I finally realized that I was being selfish. I wanted my husband to follow my faith my way yet I couldn't even be bothered to so much as read a webpage about his... his faith and spiritual practice that was just as important to him as mine was to me and here I was completely disregarding it because it didn't fit in the box I'd put God in.

It was hard but I finally opened my mind to learning something knew and in the process I found my heart opening more to God. The same God I grew up learning about and loving in small town Southern (did you say it right this time) Baptist church. Learning about Buddhism didn't make me a Buddhist, or less of a 'Christian'. It didn't take away from my faith and it wasn't going to condemn me to the fiery depths of hell.

What it did was open my eyes to how amazingly big and wonderful God truly is. God can't be put in a box.. and just because I call him 'God' and you call him 'Dios' doesn't mean we're not worshiping the same marvelous Creator.

This is a slight segway in this particular post so I'm only going to mention it briefly but I feel it warrants attention. You may have noticed that I spelled God in both English and Spanish as explanation that people may call God by a different name but He's still the same God....

Allah... is GOD in Arabic... it literally translates to 'the God'. Little mind blowing trivial for the Muslim haters out there. Same GOD.. different LANGUAGE.

Now back to Jesus...

By being open to actually educating myself about something I was unfamiliar with I learned that the core teachings of Buddha and Jesus are almost identical. In fact - Buddha taught those same core teachings a few hundred years before Jesus was ever born. If they'd lived in the same time I fully believe they would have been best of friends and brothers in their mission to bring the world to enlightenment through peace and love. 

Now I personally claim Christianity as my 'religion' because it was Jesus who led me to God.. it was through Jesus' story that I learned who God was and developed the amazing relationship that I have with my Creator today. For my husband.. it was Buddha's teachings that brought him to that place.

He doesn't worship a different God than I do... he doesn't discredit Jesus for what He did by dying on the cross. He's not anti-Christian or a lost sinner because he's Buddhist. His journey to God just took a different fork in the road than mine did.

.... The important thing to know here is that this forked road didn't take us on to separate paths... it brought us to the same one.

I now have a closer relationship with God than ever and my husband and I, both as individuals and as a couple, are growing leaps and bounds in our spiritual walk. A walk we're taking together.

God.. the strong silent type

Last night I was sitting on the couch reading a book when I heard a knock on the door. It was around 8:30pm and I wasn't expecting any visitors. I set my book down, went to the door and looked through the peep hole.

There was a middle aged looking white woman and a slightly younger looking black man. Hmm I was pretty sure they weren't from my apartment building. I opened the door and the guy stepped forward to introduce both himself and the woman and then began to tell me about a Bible study class they were having on Thursday nights. They had a little postcard sized flyer with a map of where the meetings were and info about their church. It just said Church of Christ so I'm not sure if that was the actual name of the church or just the type of denomination.

I grew up southern Baptist then un-converted when I was 25. I say un-converted because I've come to believe that "religion" and "denominations" are one of the main problems with Christianity and "the church" today. If every denomination reads the same book and alleges that their goal is to live Christ-like then how come they all have different beliefs and messages? I'll get more into what I think about that in a minute.

Not being very familiar with what particular denominations stand for I asked if their church was a charismatic church. Meaning Spirit Filled. The guy goes "No, we're a Christian church". I'm sorry huh? I told him that charismatic churches WERE Christian churches. They were just Christian churches that celebrated the presence of the Spirit of God, sometimes worshipping with raised hands and the evidence of tongues. Now I know there are many many people who believe that church should be a very staid, serious organized event.

Welcome, sing welcoming hymn, announcements, sing offering hymn, take offering, sing hymn, pray, message, alter call, closing hymn, go home.

I grew up in that kind of church and unless it's because someone I care about invites me and I go out of respect to them and their type of honoring God you will never ever find me in one of those type of churches again. I'll explain more about that in a minute as well. But back to my late night visitors.

So I tell the guy that I go to a non-denominational charismatic church. They ask the name of it and Lord forgive me I went completely blank. I've been going to this church for a good 6 months and if knowing the name to it at that particular moment was the only thing stopping me from being hit by lightning, I'd have been fried. Well I'm sure this made me look like I was just full of it and didn't go to any church at all. I mean seriously, who doesn't know the name of the church they go to? Apparently at that particular moment in time.. me. I knew I had an e-mail from my pastor's wife in my yahoo mail so I asked them to come in for a moment. I'd been standing with the door open talking to them out in the entry way of my building. I didn't want my cat to get out while I went to my room so they came in and I shut the door and ran to my room to find out what church I went to. Mount Hebron Christian Ministries. Yay e-mail! They'd heard of the church, the guy said he worked near by and heard they were getting ready to start on a new building.

So he starts talking about how people look for answers from everywhere but the Bible and how their Bible study was about showing people how to get back to what being a Christian really meant. I read the Bible. I've read it completely through on more than one occasion. I don't profess to know everything in it, I've never been one for memorizing verses but I do have a pretty good general recollection of what it says and feel somewhat comfortable enough in my knowledge to be able to question someone else's interpretation of scripture or explain my own.

He says he's going to show me some examples of how Christianity today has strayed from the direction and teachings of God and asks me if I've ever seen children be baptized. I grew up in a Baptist church, of course I have. I was baptized myself when I was 13. I'm pretty sure that's still considered a child. Then he asks if I can remember anywhere in the Bible where it talks about children being baptized. I said off the top of my head no, I couldn't recall any. He said that's because God didn't intend for them to be. God says only for adults to be baptized. I just look at him, raise my eyebrow and wait for him continue.

He goes on to tell me that children have no knowledge of what it means to serve God. That they are not emotionally or mentally mature enough to understand what it means to be a Christian and that while they may have some general understanding of right and wrong they simply are not capable of being able to fully comprehend what it means to sin and repent of that sin. He says that they, children, are unable to give their lives fully to Christ and resist the things of the world as Christians are supposed to do.

It was at this point that I raised my hand and said "I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disagree with you here." I explained, "I was saved and baptized at the age of 13 and knew very well what I was doing and what it meant." I went on to explain that my belief, understanding and relationship with God had kept me from most everything my peers had participated in. I'd never drank underage, I'd never smoked even one cigarette, I'd never tried any drug of any kind and I'd not been promiscuous and had in fact abstained from any type of intimacy until a much later age. (24) "So", I said, "I'm living proof that what you just said is not true". In some cases sure, children may not understand what it means, but I've seen entirely too many teens and children even younger accept Christ and from that moment on live their lives accordingly. I've in fact seen some children so in love with and on fire for God that they preferred going to church and worshipping over most anything else.

Brick wall. He acted like I'd not even spoken and continued on about how children weren't meant to be baptized and if I went to the Bible it says so very clearly. So I ask him, does God not say that the children are the future and that to enter heaven we are to become like them? Does the Bible not in fact say in two different places, Mark 10:15 and Luke 18:17, "I tell you the truth, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” But you're telling me that children don't know what it means to believe in God and have faith??

I told him that this very example was the reason I left a "denomination" and chose to instead follow Christ as simply a Christian. Not a Baptist or a Methodist, or a Lutheran, or whatever. Denominations, all calling themselves "Christians" take bits and pieces of the Bible and preach the parts that fit with what makes themselves feel comfortable, conveniently skipping over those that don't and dare to tell others that they are right, that they are the chosen and that those who don't follow, pray, believe, dress, worship the way they do will go to hell.

I took the issue of homosexuality as my point. I am completely against any kind of labeling. I appreciate beauty, male or female. I believe you love a person for their heart and soul, not their eye color, height, gender, religion, sexual preference, etc. By society and the world's definition, that makes me "bisexual". By most Christian's definition, that makes me an abomination and doomed to hell. Now I didn't tell them my personal preference, I just picked this particular topic to make my point. One of the church's favorite verses for condemning homosexuals is Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

When I mentioned this verse you could just see their expressions light up. Like they were thinking oh yes.. we love that verse. "So you'd agree with that verse?" I ask. They both nodded their heads in agreement. Here comes the part I love. "Ok, well Leviticus 20:9 says 'If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death. He has cursed his father or his mother, and his blood will be on his own head.'" They look at me like they're not quite sure where I'm going with this. "Are you going to kill your child when they talk back?". No answer.

I asked him if he believed that God was the same yesterday, today, and forever, never changing. He agreed that he did. The woman nodded her head too. I said so... If God never changes, then the things of the Old Testament are still valid today right? We should still stone people, sacrifice animals, have slaves and heck.. some Godly men in the Bible even had multiple wives! I mean God even ok'd incest. After the flood Noah and his family were the only humans left. They, per God's instructions, were responsible for repopulating the earth. Don't tell me you don't believe some cousins had to be hooking up for that to happen. Maybe even some brothers and sisters! But today incest is absolutely wrong. No one would disagree with that. So that means something had to change right? Was it God or was it man. Or rather man's interpretation of the Bible as it was written, translated, rewritten, reinterpreted, etc and so on.

This is where most Christians who use the Bible to bash get caught. These two were no exception. "Well that's why Christ came" the guy said. "What did people do about sin before Jesus?" he asked. "Nothing, they did nothing.". "Well" I replied, "Actually yes they did, per God's instructions they sacrificed animals at the altar as repentance." So he tries to tell me that this is where God changes. But didn't you just say that you agree that God never changes? He tries to explain that God didn't change, He just changed His laws. Ya because that's so different.

This goes on for about fifteen minutes, with me pointing out places where the Bible contradicts itself and Christians contradicting the Bible and him valiantly trying to show me where I was wrong, but failing miserably. In some ways I felt sorry for them. I have a very very firm hold on my faith. I believe in God, I have a very close personal relationship with Him. We chat on a pretty regular basis. Granted it's not always been that way, I mean I've always believed, but there have been times in my life, when things weren't so great that I questioned His position in my life. But even through the times when I didn't talk to God or go to church, I never stopped believing. My belief has however evolved and changed as I've grown and opened my heart and mind to a more full and complete relationship with Him. Things I once believed simply because it was what I was taught in church, I've learned to question and take my own steps to read, study and go to God to find out the truth about.

I'm not quite sure how the final part of the conversation came about, but I was telling them again that the things he was trying to tell me were part of the reason I un-converted and came to go to a non-denominational church. I was telling him that I loved the Lord and had a very close and personal relationship with Him. What I said next was something that he apparently was not prepared to hear or counter with some ready made script. "God and I talk daily." I said. He looked at me and said the saddest thing I've ever heard. "God doesn't talk to us like that anymore, not directly."

He then apologized for taking up so much of my time, said it was nice to meet me and they left. They didn't mention the Bible study as they were leaving and didn't follow up with a "we hope to see you there."

I grew up believing the very same thing he said. I believed that you really had to pray "to Jesus" and that "through" Jesus God would hear your prayers and maybe answer them. I thank God daily for showing me the truth. Jesus was sent not to "save us" from sin and an eternity in hell. He was sent to save us from a life without God. He lived in a way that showed us that we too can have a close personal relationship with God. Jesus told the disciples that after He left, they would do all that He'd done and even greater things. Yet we act like we're bound, gagged and unable to so much as lift a finger unless our pastor or priest or whoever says it's ok. God isn't some angry vengeful being who's going to smite us for slipping up. He's not so "above us" that we're not worthy to talk with Him.

I mean think about it. The Bible, which every "Christian" church in America uses as it's foundation for teaching says we were created in His likeness and image. He created us to be LIKE HIM. Not servants, not beggars, not lowly sinners who might get lucky enough to one day glimpse His face if we do everything just perfectly like some Sunday school class teaches us. He's God for crying out loud. He created the heaven and earth and everything above, below and between. Do you really think there's anything He needs from us, anything we could do to anger, or hurt him? Do you really believe that the Creator, all powerful, all knowing, perfection itself was so angry at man that rather than just "fixing" how we were "messed up" that He said ah screw it, this batch turned out rotten, I'll just wipe them out and start over? Then left it up to a man (Noah), his wife and their 3 sons & their wives to repopulate earth?

If people would just think, really think about some of the things they thought they believed I don't doubt for a second that at least a few of them would begin to question what they'd been taught. I think God wants us to question what the church is teaching us. I believe he wants us to read the Word on our own, pray, talk to Him and let Him show us our own truths. What is true for one person isn't necessarily true for another.

Now don't misinterpret this to think I'm saying the Bible isn't real. I believe the Bible is, to quote a really smart guy I once was friends with, "perfectly imperfect". I believe that it is Inspired by God, but not Written by God. The Bible was written BY man, interpreted BY man, translated BY man and as such is susceptible to the flaws of man. I mean if you do your research you'll learn that a council of people came together to decide which books they thought should be included in the Bible. So that in itself shows us that there are parts missing and that the parts that are included are a part of the Bible because a group of people "thought" they should be.

I guess the main point I'm trying to make is that while I'm all for "blind faith", I think we need to make sure we're having that faith in the right thing. God, rather than "the church" and I think we need to be more open to questioning things and researching and searching for God's truth for us rather than just buying what a pastor or priest tell us. Teachers aren't always right. Most importantly I believe with all my heart and soul that there are too many people out there searching for God who aren't finding Him because all their lives they've been told that He's inaccessible and that my dear friends is a flat out lie. God speaks to us all, directly. We just have to choose to open our hearts and ears and listen. :-)

Excerpts from.....

The following is an excerpt from the book "Home with God; in a Life that Never Ends". Written by Neale Donald Walsch. This is a conversation that took place between Neale and God. In this part of the book Neale asks God the question in the first 2 paragraphs.... what follows was God's answer to him.

It touched me.. and I hope it touches you.

Neale: May I ask you what may seem like a strident question?

God: Certainly

Neale: Why do we have to reach out to you before you reach out to us? If you really are an all-knowing God, then you must know when we need help. If you really are an all-merciful God, then you must be willing to offer that help -- without our asking. If we are already on our knees, bent over in utter defeat, why must we grovel even more and plead with you to rescue us? If you are an all-loving God, why don't you love us enough to help us without us having to beg you?

And while we're at it, what do you say to those who would tell you, "I have called out to you, and you have not been there! Do you think I have not asked for God's help? For God sake, why do you think I'm so desperate! I'm so desperate because it seems like even God has let me down! I'm utterly deserted here. And I want none of it anymore. I'm done. Finished. Through"

What do you say to that person, huh?

God: I say......

I want you to consider now the possibility of a miracle. There is a reason why you have not experienced receiving a solution from me, but that reason is not important in this moment. What is important in this moment is for you to consider the possibility that now, right now in front of you, there is an answer. Open you eyes and you will see it. Open your mind and you will know it. Open your heart and you will feel it there.

I say.....

Only if you call out to me in absolute knowing will you be aware that your answer has been given you. Because it is what YOU know. what YOU feel, and what YOU declare that will be true in your experience. If you call out to me in hopelessness, I will be there, but your despair may blind you, and block you from seeing me.

I say.....

Nothing you have done is so horrible, nothing you have had happen to you is so beyond repair, that it cannot be healed. I can and shall make you whole again.

Yet you must stop judging yourself. the one making the strongest judgment is you. Others may judge you from the outside looking in, but they do not know you, they do not see you, and so their judgments are not valid. Do not make them valid by taking them on as your own. They have no meaning

Do not wait for others to see you as you really are, for they see you through the eyes of their own pain. Know instead, that I see you now, in wonder, and in truth, and that what I see of you is Perfect. As I look upon you I have but one thought: "This is my beloved, in who I am well pleased."

I say....

Forgiveness is not necessary in the Kingdom of God. God cannot be offended or damaged in any way. There is only one question of importance in the entire universe, and it has nothing to do with your guilt or innocence. It has to do with your identity. "Do you know who you really are"? When you do, all thoughts of loneliness disappear, all ideas of unworthiness evaporate, all contemplations of hopelessness transmute into wondrous awareness of the miracle that is your life. And the miracle that is you.

And finally, my beloved I say.....

You are surrounded in this very moment by a hundred thousand angels. Accept, now, their ministrations. And then, pass their gift on to others. For it is in giving that you shall receive, and it is in healing that you shall be healed. The miracle for which you have been waiting has been waiting for you. You will know then when you become the miracle that another awaits.