Friday, December 14, 2007

Pecans & Proposals..

This morning I got on the bus like usual... sat down like usual.. and pulled out my book to begin reading.... like usual.

What occurred next was decidedly UNusual.. at least to me lol.

The seats on the bus are situated in different directions in different areas of the bus. At the front of the bus are a row of 4 seats on each side situated along the sides of the bus. So you're not facing forward but rather sideways facing the people across from you. Right behind those are 2 rows of two seats on either side that ARE facing forwrad. So you're sitting perpendicular to the guy next to you if you're in the last seat on the sideways row. (Just in case someone doesn't know - perpendicular means in the shape of a T or in a shape forming right angles).

So I'm sitting in the last seat in the front row, and there is a man sitting in the outside seat of the first row of forward facing seats. He's probably ehh mid to late 40's maybe early 50's. And he's crunching the heck out of something. He'll pull something out of his pocket - bite it and then set something on the seat next to him. I just assume it's sunflower seeds.. until I keep hearing this really LOUD crunch. So while reading my book I slide my gaze to my right to see what he's putting on the seat next to him. It's PECAN Shells.. the man is cracking pecans WITH HIS TEETH, picking out the nuts then putting the shells on the seat next to him. I think um ew. So I ask the guy a couple of seats next to me (in the other direction) to hand me one of the little plastic white trash bags they keep at the front of the bus. I quietly, without saying anything pass it to the nut cruncher to my right.

Ah boy - I should have just let him keep putting the shells on the seat and hoped some poor sod didn't have the misfortune to sit on a piece of shell with a sharp edge later in the day! Because evidentally handing him a plastic bag translated into "let's chat". I didn't even look at him when I passed the bag rather kept my nose firmly in the pages of my book!

"Hi" he says. "Hello", I reply. "Ju have a husband?", he asks. (Yes that really was the second thing out of his mouth and from the accent I'm assuming he was hispanic, although he looked pretty white to me - who can tell these days?!). "No I'm not married".. "Are ju looking for a husband?". uh... uhh... I smile...uhh..."I'm waiting for the right man", I say, hoping that by bringing my book yet closer to my face I can hint nicely that I'm more interested in reading than chatting.

"Ju have just met him".

I try really hard not to laugh. I mean to totally crack up at the surreality of the moment. Picture this coming, not from a dark, handsome exotic latino like eh Mark Consuelos for example but rather a very balding Ricardo Montalban.

Now picture me back to uhh.. uhhh. smile. uhh..uhhh....

I said something along the lines of I'm waiting for God to bring me the right man for me... to which he replies something.. I dunno.. but I heard in the middle of it that he was waiting for God too.. I finally smiled and buried my nose so far in my book there was no way anyone could have failed to get that I was REALLLLY interested in what I was reading.

So he asks..."Ju like to read a lot eh?". "Yes", I say, ""I've read 3 books in the last 2 weeks". (flip pages in book and appear to concentrate feverishly).

He finally must have realized that I just really wasn't up for an impromto meeting of my future husband.. at least not this particular day and he went back to cracking and crunching his pecans...

I hope he has better luck on his next proposal.. maybe it will be met with slightly better reception and excitement.. who's to say you can't meet the man or woman of your dreams amidst bus smog and pecan shells.

Love and blessings to you all!!


0 People who coughed on a furball: