Friday, January 21, 2011

Hello blog.... it's me again

I'm Alive!!!!

I know all 3 of you readers out there have been wondering where I'd wandered off to

It's been just under a year since I last wrote and although 'I've been super busy' is actually true that's only half the reason I haven't written until now

The last 12 months have been the most impactful years of my life. There's been good times. There's been bad times. And there's most definitely been ugly times.

I'll start my year long catch up with the most ugly.

In January of 2010 my mom went into the emergency room for chest pain. Having chronic pneumonia the last several years she thought they'd find some gunk in her lungs, give her an antibiotic and send her home.

Well they found something in her lungs, but it wasn't fluid. It was cancer. Cancer in her lungs, cancer in her liver and over the course of the last year - cancer in her spine, bones and brain. She's had 3 different type of chemotherapy, one round of radiation and she's been hospitalized twice; once for 3 weeks with pneumonia and clots in her lungs - and once for pancreatitis.

The pancreatitis admission was the latest. Last Wednesday she text me saying she was doing good, starting to eat solid foods and the plan was to send her home Friday. Thursday evening I got a call saying she had a 4cm lesion on her brain and it was bleeding. I rushed to MS with my husband.... (yes my husband, but I'll save that news for another post) got to the hospital and learned that she wasn't expected to make it through the weekend. She was heavily medicated and barely able to talk.

Today is Friday Jan 21, 2011 and mom is home at my sister's. She's awake, talking, and eating but there's no doubt that cancer has had it's way with her. The bleeding was stopped with 6 units of plasma (Go Donate!) the swelling on her brain is being controlled with steroids, and she's been kept pain free with serious meds, but her cancer is still out of control and at this point she's just being kept comfortable until her time with us is done. Hospice comes daily to check on her and make sure she's comfortable and resting.

My mom is 53 years old and is going to die leaving behind 3 children, 3 grandchildren, brothers, sisters, parents and a host of other people who love her... because she smoked.

Even now she's most likely sitting in her wheelchair out on my sister's porch.... smoking.

And I will never forgive her for it.

Small-cell lung cancer accounts for approximately 20-25% of all cases of lung cancer.

The predominant cause of small-cell lung cancer is tobacco smoking.

Smoking is by far the leading risk factor for lung cancer. Tobacco smoke causes nearly 9 out of 10 cases of lung cancer. The longer a person has been smoking and the more packs per day smoked, the greater the risk. If a person stops smoking before lung cancer starts, the lung tissue slowly returns to normal. Stopping smoking at any age lowers the risk of lung cancer.

Love your children more than yourself. Love your parents, your spouse, your siblings enough to stop being selfish. SMOKING KILLS.

There is no doubt, no question, no yet to be determined medical test to prove it.

So do yourself and everyone who loves you a favor and Q.U.I.T. or be prepared to explain to them why you loved your cigarette more than you loved them.

'It's just to stressful to quit'. 'I'll quit when I'm ready'. 'I smoke because I like it'.... none of those are acceptable reasons why my 4yr old niece will only have vague memories of her grammsy.


2 People who coughed on a furball:

Momma Sunshine said...


Glad to have you back in the blogging world. I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. :-(

My man is going through tough times with his mom right now as well, who has been battling cancer for a while now. It's so hard watching that happen to someone you love so much.

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you & ur Mom.

Congrats on the wedding. & yes, pls post about that soon.

Best wishes. :)