Trying to understand people who just seem - un-understandable

Have you ever met someone who for the longest time seemed like they were one kind of person... then after time went by they morphed into some contrived alien creature from planet "If it's not about me it's not worth being positive about"?

I know someone like that and while I normally have little trouble just letting things go, trying to "figure her out" or understand her has become to me something akin to what I imagine the Rubik's Cube was to 6yr old math savants across the globe. You KNOW you know how to fix the puzzle.. you're not entirely sure how just yet but you know you can't stop until you get it.

Let me tell you, for someone who thrives on peace and harmony in her life.. it's really unpleasant. Yet for the life of me I can't figure out why I can't just acknowledge that she's apparently NOT the person I thought she was, or even the person she'd originally portrayed herself to be and simply remove her presence from my life.

Here's an example of the "if it's not something I thought of first or something to glorify ME then I just have to be a b*tch about it" attitude I'm talking about....I sent her a text this morning that said "Happy Friday!". I woke up in a great mood, the drive to work was filled with the glorious majesty of fall colors, leaves scattered on the sidewalks, tree limbs dancing in the breeze.. just one of those mornings where the beauty of life and being alive filled every cell of your being. So I thought I'd share some happy with a friend. I'd smile if I got a "Happy Day" message.. wouldn't you?

This is the response: "Who says happy Friday?". Not thanks.. not you too.. not anything even remotely positive. In response I said with a smiley face and a lol to make sure it was clear I was smiling, laughing and being jovial.. "I do =) gotta prob with that? lol". To which I get this - ":S" If you're familiar with smiley emoticons in instant messengers, this one is the equivalent to the face you'd probably give someone if I dunno they just told you their dog accidentally had diarrhea in your favorite pair of $80 black heels, but not to worry they were SURE the smell would come out! You'd look at them, not only like they were stupid, but I'm sure with more than a small amount of disgust and disdain.

Now maybe you think, oh I'm sure you're just over-reacting.. maybe she's just having a bad day and it was a rare occurrence. If only that were the case, but no. This is a regular every day kind of thing. I asked her.. are you unhappy? Do you feel that being ugly or only slightly less than positive helps you deal with whatever you've got going on? To these questions she always, most emphatically and in a wee bit of a condescending tone that she is extremely happy. She has a great life, great kids, a great gf.. things couldn't be better!!

So I wonder... are some people just unable to be happy or positive about things that don't serve the express purpose of glorifying themselves? Is something as simple as wishing they have a happy day so banal and insignificant they find themselves simply unable to exert the monumental effort a positive response must surely take?

This is the point where I imagine you must be saying, "Well she sounds like a total self-absorbed tool, why don't you just stop talking to her?"

And that my friends is the million dollar question...I try to recall the past 4 years of friendship we've shared, dredging my memory to see if this type of behaviour was always there and I somehow managed to be completely oblivious to it for so long. If that were the case then why now, all of a sudden, did I notice every little negative, snide comment. I've shared in other blogs that I've been doing a lot of soul searching and have decided to embark upon the journey of discovering and creating the greatest version of the grandest vision I've ever had about Who I Truly Am and Who I Choose To Be... so I thought, hmm, maybe it's because I've decided to eliminate all negativity from the way I see and react to things that her obvious lack of positivity has just become more apparent to me. Then I thought further back, and looked a little deeper.. and I think I may have come upon an alternate more likely explanation...

When I first met my friend, I had recently broken up for the final time with my fiance. I was in a very delicate state and was I think desperately searching for something or someone to replace him in my life. Not replace him as my fiance, or lover, but as my best friend, for he had been my very best friend, the person I turned to for everything, shared my deepest fears and hopes with, the person I looked to for validation and encouragement. She was beautiful, outgoing, funny, flirtatious, exotic and so very very sure of herself. I was instantly drawn to that I think. Something strong and what appeared to me at the time positive. Well, what I've come to realize in my reminiscence of our years of friendship was that at the beginning of our budding friendship I was so eager, so desperate for someone to fill the void breaking up with my ex fiance had left that I tended to well... one way of putting it may be... worship her. I know that's an awful word to use and not what I mean in it's most known and purest definition, but it's the closest thing I can think of the describe how I treated her.

I've always been a pretty positive person, sometimes overly realistic, but I've always tried to see the best in people and to lift that up. To let people know they were special. Well... I think I may not have been the only person in her life doing that kind of "lifting". I've begun to think she imagined herself (even if subconsciously) to be sitting up on a pretty damn high pedestal. She's gorgeous. Guys fall over themselves to talk to her. Her family and from what I've seen the majority of her friends are all what could be called "the beautiful people". The kind of people who because of the way they look and the vibe of confidence and self-worth they exude never really have to work for much of anything. Now don't get me wrong, she's been through some horribly tragic events in her life.. and life hasn't always handed her roses, but I imagine so much adulation couldn't help but eventually seep into the deep crevices of your sub and self-conscious and become well.. an expected way of life.

So.. when I decided to embark on this journey of self discovery, I think the way I treated her began to resemble less of what she was used to and more of the way you treat well.. anybody, any person, friend, even someone you care a great deal about. NORMAL. This of course could have absolutely nothing to do with her attitude. I could be way off base, and I think maybe, because she did and still does mean so much to me that it's the hope that she's really not this self absorbed, shallow, person she's presenting herself to be now that's keeping me from just moving on.

You always want to think the very best of those you love; friends, family, spouses, children. And even though true love sees through the unpleasant facets of the personalities of your loved ones and loves them anyway, it doesn't mean you WANT to see traits in them that are less than appealing. You never want to think someone YOU love could be "That kind of person". So it is a result of that "always believing the best" part of my own character makeup that I find myself in this quandary. I'm one of those people who unless you've done something absolutely deplorable never walks away from a friendship. I still consider people I haven't seen in years friends. I may never cross their mind again, but in my heart if they ever need a friend.. I'm still there. A lot of people don't understand how I can still be nice and caring to people who have hurt me so much. I can only say it's a gift from God that I just love in a way that I suppose, sadly, not many people love. I love fully and truly. To me, when you love someone, no matter what kind of love it is; romantic, familial or friendly, is it eternal. Love never dies. So when I love someone, I love them forever. It's that kind of love that makes it easy for me to forgive and usually even forget hurt and harm brought on me by others. I guess you could say I "Let go and Let God" lol =). I know it's a bit cliche'ish, but it's true.

So I continue to act in love toward my friend, always extending positivity and well wishes, however seldom I receive them in return. Is enough ever enough? Do you ever reach a point where you're only hindering a person by showing them love? Or is there a point where to best help that person see the path they've taken and the effect their actions have on others, that you indeed must simply walk away?

I dunno... I only pray.. believing that every thing happens for a reason, and every person who touches your life does so for a distinct purpose... and believing, always believing that there is good.. true, deep, beautiful good in every one.

Factory Farms - Destroying the Heartland

Americans are increasingly aware of the health consequences
of eating animal flesh, dairy products, and eggs, but most of us don’t ever think about the risks associated with working on or living near a factory farm. Unfortunately, people in rural communities often experience, firsthand, the devastating effects of factory-farm pollution.

Factory farms pollute the air and the water for many miles in every direction, often spreading contamination and illness to the people who live and work nearby. A synopsis of a Senate Agricultural Committee report on farm pollution issued this warning about animal waste: “It’s untreated and unsanitary, bubbling with chemicals and diseased organisms. … It goes onto the soil and into the water that many people will, ultimately, bathe in and wash their clothes with and drink. It is poisoning rivers and killing fish and making people sick. … Catastrophic cases of pollution, sickness, and death are occurring in areas where livestock operations are concentrated.”

When factory farms move into communities, the pollution that they bring causes increased rates of neurological disorders, respiratory diseases, miscarriages, bacterial infections, diarrhea, and stomach ailments; sometimes, the contamination leaves people permanently disabled or even dead. An investigative report that recently appeared in The New York Times lists just a small sample of the suffering that follows the arrival of a factory farm: “Paul Isbell of Houston, Miss., began experiencing seizures after a hog farm moved in down the road. … Kevin Pearson of Meservey, Iowa, carried a towel in his car because he vomited five or six times a week on his way to work. Julie Jansen’s six children suffered flulike symptoms and diarrhea when farms moved into their neighborhood in Renville, Minn. One of Ms. Jansen’s daughters was found by Dr. Kilburn to have neurological damage.”

Karen Hudson of the Illinois-based grassroots group Families Against Rural Messes, summed up the problem of animal factories’ need to dispose of millions of tons of feces: “In order to get rid of it, they have to dump it. And who’s paying for it? It’s the communities—in water quality problems, air quality problems, and public-health problems.” In 2006, public-interest and environmental groups expressed shock and anger when the Environmental Protection Agency proposed a new loophole that would make it even easier for giant animal factories to pollute the water and air without any oversight. Ed Hopkins, director of the Sierra Club’s Environmental Quality Program, said that the new loophole “essentially means that these facilities are going to be able to continue to use our streams and rivers as sewers.”

The government and the animal flesh and dairy industries are well aware of the health problems caused by factory farms—one recent government report by the California State Senate admits, “Studies have also shown that [animal waste] lagoons emit toxic airborne chemicals that can cause inflammatory, immune, irritation, and neurochemical problems in humans.” Yet, despite overwhelming scientific evidence that proves factory farms cause significant damage to Americans’ health, the federal government and state officials continue to do nothing while the animal flesh, egg, and dairy industries pollute our air and water.

Make this Thanksgiving a HAPPY Turkey Day!

Go Cold Turkey!

No, we're not talking about smoking—we're talking about the addiction to eating animal flesh. November is the perfect time to kick this nasty habit and go vegetarian!

Why kick the meat habit cold turkey? Well, there are many reasons to go vegetarian, but here are two: Vegetarians are significantly healthier than meat-eaters, and vegetarians save more than 100 animals a year from terrible abuse. And no animal suffers from this abuse more during the holiday season than turkeys.

Take a few minutes to watch the video below about PETA's undercover investigation at a slaughterhouse owned by Butterball—the world's largest turkey-killing company—that documented workers stomping on live birds' heads, slamming birds into walls and metal railings like baseball bats, and sexually assaulting them. Then sign up to "Go Cold Turkey" by taking our pledge to be veg for 30 days!

Click link below for video
http://getactive.peta.org/campaign/go_cold_turkey