Monday, February 09, 2009

When I was a kid.....

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears, with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were.

When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning

... Uphill...

.... in the snow....

.... BOTH ways....

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!

...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!

When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders', 'Q-bert' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen Forever!

And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only m-net And there was no on screen menu and no remote control!

You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either!

You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.

Do you Hear what I'm saying!?!

We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

If we wanted Popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

The over 30 Crowd

5 People who coughed on a furball:

Ella said...

you forgot cell phones. or heck, phones with BUTTONS - we had the rotary dialers! with cords!

i remember when we got our first cassette playing stereo - that was cool stuff - no more 8 tracks!

ditto on the microwave, cable converter and Atari.

and my dad would mix up vanilla ice cream, cool whip, and crushed up oreos in a large plastic bowl then refreeze it - long before "cookies and cream" ever appeared in the grocers freezer section!

effin' kids these days...

Melissa said...

I remember my mom making me sit by the tv to change the channels until she found what she wanted to watch. I guess I was her remote control!

I also actually remember having to play outside. I don't think alot of kids know what that is anymore.

Anonymous said...

ahahahahahahahaha -- hilarious and thank you!

Clever Elsie said...

I'm getting so old, I'd actually forgotten about a couple of these! Thanks for reminding me how good we have it today!

Erin said...

Isn't that the truth!!

Love your blog :-) I'm adding as I type, lol