Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A good day for a holiday

Today is February 24, 2009

Some national holidays that are celebrated today are ...

Fastnachts Day
Pancake Day
Mardi Gras
Shrove Tuesday
Paczki Day

oh yea and we can't forget Spa Day

Well I propose that we make today a different kind of holiday.

I propose that today be Power of Positive Thinking Day. And not just today - I say we make EVERY DAY a power of positive thinking holiday.

You may be wondering what prompted such an idea?

Or then again you may not, but I'm going to tell you anyway. :-)

After I got to work this morning I signed on to Twitter and was catching up on the past few hours of tweets and noticed what seemed like an overwhelming amount of negative messages. A lot of anger, bitterness, and just general negativity and ugliness across the board and reading it really put a sour taste in my mouth.

This may come as a surprise to some because I've been known to be quite the 'Debbie Downer' myself on the rare occasion, (not to be connected to a movie starting by the same name or any similar sounding activity that may occur in said movie - pervs) er OK so more the rare occasion. For a good part of the last several years I will concede that I've been fairly foul of mood and disposition. Not all the time, it's one of those 'it comes and goes' things. All upbeat and Suzy Sunshine for a day or two, followed by a few weeks of quite literally a Moping Mollie.

But there's been a change in my life lately, for the better, another thing I owe to The Editor. I suppose since I've introduced Matthew in a previous post I could start calling him by name, but he's been The Editor for so long it just kind of sticks with me lol. Anyway...

If you've read any of my blog then you may have come to the conclusion that I've not always been the happiest of gals. I've spent the majority of my life with what psychologists like to call a 'victim mentality'. No one likes me, no one gets me, why can't I ever be understood, I just want to be loved for who I am... etc and so on.

Typing it out now makes me want to cringe. I honestly wonder how the people in my life who've hung around managed to put up with me. The funny thing is - I never noticed I was that way.. until someone DID love me for who I am and cared enough to point it out. Not that it hadn't been pointed out before, but the difference in those people and Matthew is that he didn't just tell me how negative I was, or how pathetic, or how this or how that - he showed me the way I was being - with love, then gave me the tools to do something about it.

I've recently started reading a book called 'Soul Psychology: Keys to Ascension‎' by Joshua David Stone and I can already tell you now - it is going to CHANGE MY LIFE.

Here is an excerpt...

The basic function of the subconscious mind is to store information. It is the storehouse and memory bank of all your thoughts, feelings, imaginings, habit patterns, impulses and desires. From the time you were a little infant, you have been receiving programs from your parents, grandparents, peers, teachers, ministers, extended family and television programs. When you are a child, your reasoning mind has not developed enough to be able to discriminate and thereby protect you from negative programming. As a child, you are totally open, so your subconscious mind can be filled with mental poisons, faulty thinking and faulty beliefs. Just as the body can be filled with physical toxins from poor eating, the subconscious is filled with mental toxins from negative programming and education.

So every time your parents told scolded you and said that you were bad, or they were disappointed in you, or your teacher told you that you didn't do well enough, or a tv program showed someone being abused, or mistreated or spoken to in a negative way your subconscious was being programmed with those thoughts. You were being 'built' to think a certain way.

For me, I never felt good enough. I never felt like anything I did or who I was quite measured up or was worthy of love or acceptance. My birth father didn't want me, my mother was more interested in watching Dynasty and Falcon Crest than spending quality time with me, my step-dad worked all the time and was never home. I was a straight A student, excelled at everything I did, didn't smoke, drink, fornicate, or do any of the other stuff every other kid I knew was doing and still I felt like it wasn't enough. My little brother and sister did everything that I didn't do and it still seemed like they were the preferred children. I never felt like I was loved, like I was good enough. I felt alone.

Well one of the things (the main thing) that Matthew has been so emphatic about telling me and trying to make sure that I really understand is that I don't have to DO anything to be loved. He loves me because I'm worthy of love, just as I am. I am a child of God - I was created to be loved. That's it. I didn't have to do anything, or be anything to qualify myself to be loved by him. I was born being more than enough. I don't have to excel at this, or be successful at that. I don't have to weigh a certain amount, or look a certain way for him to love me. He Just Does.

What I've realized is that the reason it is so hard for me to accept the kind of love he gives me is because.. well I don't give that kind of love to myself. If I don't think I'm enough then how will I ever believe anyone else thinks I am. I won't. I can't. I find myself all the time asking him - do you really love me? Why do you love me? How can you treat me so good when I'm so messed up? And until recently I didn't realize that it's my own negative thinking about myself that has shaped pretty much my entire life and every relationship I've had - those with my family, friends, and the few romantic relationships that I've had. He doesn't think I'm messed up, or fat, or not pretty enough, or not smart enough, or not experienced enough in relationships. He doesn't think any of those things about me - I do.

Self doubt. This is a HUGE thing that I'd not hesitate to say the majority of people deal with. And most of them don't even know it. I didn't. I didn't think that "I" thought I wasn't good enough - I thought other people didn't. I thought - well everyone in my life leaves me, no one sticks around, they all find fault in something I do, some way I act - something about ME isn't good enough, or right enough for them and they leave. I put my worth in the eyes of others. I put my value in the hands of someone else. I was giving the power of Who I AM away.

One of the things I'm learning from this book is that we too often put our value in things we have or do instead of who we are.

I have a body, but I am not my body.
I have emotions, but my emotions do not make up who I am.
I have a mind, but I am not my mind.

These are all things that I HAVE - but they are not WHO I AM. So if my body gets a little fat, or flabby, or out of shape - it doesn't change WHO I AM. If I get over emotional and have a moment of hysterics - that is not WHO I AM. If my mind goes into over-analyze mode and tries to pick apart every little bit of something that was said to me - it doesn't have to control me because it is not WHO I AM. And none of those things detract from my value or my self-worth, none of them make me any less deserving of love.

I AM a child of God, created in His image and likeness so how can I be anything less than worthy? God IS Love, so how can I be anything but loved?



And so are YOU.

For the longest time I've had this little print out on the mirror in my bathroom. It's a few sentences that say something like "I love you, I appreciate you, I forgive you for any mistakes. Today is a new day, the past is gone. I will respect myself etc.." For a while I read it every morning when I got ready for work. Then I just stopped. I don't think it would have mattered at the time though if I'd read it twenty times a day because internally, in my heart, my mind, my soul, I didn't really believe anything it said. I mean I read it, I kind of believed it was true, but I didn't really KNOW it was. That is changing...

I sort of went off on a tangent there but the point is - negative thinking effects us. Our negative thinking, other's negative thinking, negative broadcasting on the television and radio, it all imprints on our subconscious. Now I'm not saying to only watch only positive programs. Heck I'm not sure if you ruled out all negativity there would be anything left TO watch. Even positive programs and music sometimes miss the mark and send faulty messages.

I listen to a Christian Contemporary station and I was listening to a song on the radio this morning and all of a sudden heard it in a new way.

The chorus is

I need You Jesus to come to my rescue
Where else can I go?
There's no other Name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

Now most of you will see absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Look again...

I need You Jesus to come to my rescue

That statement puts us in a place of being a victim, in a place of needing rescuing. God gave us everything we will ever need to accomplish anything that will ever come our way. We do not need to be rescued.

In John 14:12 Jesus Himself says "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."


We have the power to perform miracles, healings, and wonders - but the world, the church, our family, friends, all of these outside influences have programmed us to believe we need help, that we are frail, weak, worthless beings incapable of doing anything on our own - and we BELIEVE IT.

We are negatively thinking ourselves and our world into the grave.

So my proposal -

For one entire day - check yourself. Every thought you have, check it. Stop for a second and ask yourself - Is this going to benefit myself or someone else? Is this going to uplift me or those around me? Is this going to encourage and empower me or anyone else? If not - DON'T SAY IT!

You'll be surprised at how often you'll end up not saying something you'd planned on saying, or not reacting in a way you'd not have given a thought to before. And once you start realizing how much negativity you pour into your own life, you'll begin to see that it's not only you that you're hurting. Then you'll start to see the negativity in others - and you can at that point consciously choose to NOT let their negativity effect you. You can HEAR what someone says, but you can CHOOSE not to be affected negatively by it and before you know it you'll find yourself having a whole new attitude and outlook on life! So here's to The Power of Positive Thinking Day!

Now get out there and BE POSITIVE!!

2 People who coughed on a furball:

Randy Peyser said...

Hi Mollie, A google alert led me to your fun blog. I would like to invite you to visit my blog or website as well, which is http://www.miraclethinking.com. I have a new book out called, "The Power of Miracle Thinking." I can also tell you how to start your own feral cat colony, should a pregnant cat decide to give birth under your deck like one did in my back yard. Sincerely, Randy Peyser

Erin said...

What a wonderful thought to have. That book must be quite inspiring!! I think I'll try your positive thinking, because believe me... I could stand a few days (if not forever!) of definite positive thinking!