Life

A poem I wrote when I was 17

Life

Too much hassle, too much strain
Too much sorrow, too much pain
Not enough time to get everything done
Not enough energy to have any fun

Bills to pay, things to buy
Too worn out out even cry
No money left, all is spent
I lay here beaten, broken and bent

Places to go, people to see
Things to do, who said life is free

They lied

In this world of an exhausting pace
Nobody wins in a wild rat race
Fun and games do not exist
Be a perfect child your parents insist

Make a bad grad and they said you failed
Commit a crime and you get nailed

To the wall

Your guilt decided by the government's judge
Who moseys on home to pig out on fudge

You're forgotten

They take you away to a cell of steel bars
Might as well bee on the planet Mars
So far way are the people who care
Everyone looks at you in a dead stare

There is no way out, why should you care
As you begin to climb down the prison stair

To hell

That's what is left, there's no one around
A faint thumping noise, your heart is found

Didn't know it existed

Guess that means I'm not dead after all
I must have taken a terrible fall

On my bike

I remember, I was pedaling along
The sun on my face, singing a song
About joy and peace, happiness and love
I look at my hand and pull off my glove

It's cut and bleeding, but there is no pain
My body is numb, or am I insane
Who knows, who cares, not I that's fur sure
Nobody shares my feeling of fear

I panic as problems reign down
Heavy as the granite stone I fell on
And cut open my head
I smiled in a daze as I lay there and bled

To death

No one missed me, or noticed I'd gone
I guess until death we are truly alone
Unless we find love, a life long soul mate
Had I found mine, life would have been great

But alas as I die, I lay here and cry
All the tears locked inside
All the pain that we hide

From each other

Let it out

Before one day soon, you suddenly find
Your life is ending, the way I lost mine

Alone

Written 5-9-94

When it rains it pours...

I've been in a bit of a funk lately - yes I know, what again?

Things with PT are progressing in exactly the way I feared they would. We've chatted online some since he's been gone, but conversations have been somewhat short and random. We did have one meaningful conversation about some stuff that had happened before he left, but all other chats have been relatively inconsequential.

I'd like to blame the 15 hour time difference, his days are my nights and vice verse, but I imagine if you wanted to talk to someone badly enough you'd figure out how to work around it. So I fear I may be falling prey to the adage of 'out of sight, out of mind'. * sigh *

So anyway, instead of trying to come up with something new to write, I thought I'd share something old.

This is a poem I wrote in high school, somewhere around the age of 15 or 16 I believe.

Storms Revenge

As rain pours down drenching the earth
bringing life and yet giving birth
I watch the sky fade from light to dark
occasionally gifted with lightening's angry spark
I feel a kindred spirit with the drowning ground
smothered in tears by fate we are bound
to begin as one earth we are born of its ashes
we live from it's life we die on it's grasses
I long to live as an eagle, far away I'd fly
beautiful, splendid gliding, soaring high
To swoop down on unsuspecting prey
Feasting on weaker creatures, then all would rue the day
They tried to cross me and knock me down
I'd perch on my throne a Queen with a crown
of glorious white feathers and indescribable grace
I'd stand before them and show my true face
I'd laugh at their fear, scorn their regret
relinquishing hatred on all those I'd met
who's laughed while I cried
Lived happily while slowly I died... inside myself