Support & Appreciation

Look Who Stopped By

Thursday, November 06, 2008

And the gold star goes to...

The Persistent Puerto Rican.

A few months ago this guy messaged me on POF. If you're new to my blog and haven't been following my dating misadventures - first of all Welcome!, secondly POF is short for Plenty of Fish, a dating website I signed up on a while back.

So this guy, who from here on out will be known as PPR, short for the Persistent Puerto Rican, messages me on POF. We talk back in forth in email a few times, move to Yahoo IM, then exchange numbers. Communication with PPR is some what sparse. He'll text me or message me maybe 3 to 5 times a month to say hi, what's up, or more often 'you should come over'.

PPR lives on the coast in Mississippi, which is about a 45-55 minute drive from Mobile, so it's pretty funny to me that he'd really think there would be any possibility of me just hopping on over there for some booty, no matter good I'm sure it would be.

I don't know how much you know about the Puerto Rican culture, or Latinos in general but they are, for the most part, very passionate people. They are also usually very confident and quite bold in their approach.

PPR is no different. From the very beginning he was clear that he was interested in 'hooking up'. A phrase that he seems to be fond of is 'beat the brakes off of it'. So klassy.

Guys like PPR don't bother me. I would much rather a man be up front about his intentions than act all respectful and nice guy like to lure you into thinking they are genuine, then blind side you down the road when they turn out to be a total jerk.

Plus he has a habit of mixing English and Spanish when he talks and has an incredibly sexy accent so I'd chat with him for that alone.

Anyway, so the other morning at 5:50am my phone rings. I was only half awake and not really thinking yet so I answered it. It was PPR. Turns out he's in town and wanted to 'stop by' to meet and say hi.

Just in case you read over it too quickly for it to sink in let me repeat something for you. It was 5:50 AM! I'm in bed, half asleep, hair all wild, haven't cleared the goo from my eyes yet and this guy wants to just come on by?!?

I start off by asking him if he's lost his ever loving mind. Although, I think what I actually said was 'Are you Crazy?!' I told him I was still in bed, so he says 'that's ok, I can come crawl in behind you and rub your back for you'.

Again with the 'Are you crazy?!'

I found myself being more amused that he would think this particular call might actually prove successful than I was irritated at being called at the butt crack of dawn. So I tell him then that I had to get up in a few to shower and get ready for work, trying to hint in a round about way without exactly saying so that I didn't want him to come over.

'That's OK too, I can come soap your back for you'

If I gave out gold stars for persistence this guy would have gotten like five of them. Right then.

By this point curiosity had gotten the better of me and I ask him what he's doing in Mobile at 5am. He works for a phone company doing customer service and tech support so I knew he travels sometimes, but I didn't think Mobile was in his service area. Turns out he'd come over the night before to 'beat the brakes' off this 'shorty' that he's been seeing and was just leaving her house when he called me.

Yes I'm serious.

I'll give you a moment...

I know, right?!

So I start cracking up, and the funniest thing is that he's totally serious. He's not 'dating' this chic, he's just 'servicing her needs' and sees absolutely nothing wrong what-so-ever with calling me right after he leaves her house.

I've told him repeatedly that I am in no way, shape or form interested in allowing myself to become another notch on his bed post, and he keeps saying that it's cool, we don't have to hook up, he just wants to hang out and get to know each other.

Well ya know, someone once told me there's some really cheap ocean front property in Arizona....

I didn't buy that either.

3 People who coughed on a furball:

Jane Wonder said...




Don't ever answer the phone again when he calls. Seriously.


Single said...

OMG! This story is GREAT. I have to say, I would find it equally as amusing. Is it wrong for me to wonder about his stamina? I mean, he must be a machine ...

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

Unbelievable. Seriously.