Thursday, April 16, 2009

Take two aspirin and meet me in the bedroom

Today we're going to talk about sex.

My favorite part of being in a relationship.

Ok, my most favorite part is spending time with my wonderful boyfriend, but sex is a very close second. I love you honey! ^_^

I whined in my last post that Jillian Michaels is kicking my ass doing her 30 Day Shred workout. That woman is a machine when it comes to working out. The girl is unstoppable.

Well I'm kind of like that when it comes to sex.

I love sex.


I've come to realize that maybe my sex drive is a bit above average for a woman. Hell it's probably above average for a man. My sex drive would in fact probably put the energizer bunny to shame. I would be perfectly happy to have sex every single day. Morning sex, afternoon sex, before bed sex. Heck even brunch and before dinner sex.

When my ex-fiance and I first got together it was like having a newborn. We had sex like every 2 hours, every night. If we went to bed at say 10pm, we'd have sex before going to sleep, then wake up at midnight and have sex again, then around 2am, 4am, and then again when woke up to begin getting ready for work.

This lasted for a good six months until the lack of sleep started catching up with me and sheer exhaustion demanded more than 3-5 hours of sleep each night. After that we toned it down a bit but still had sex every night, usually once in the middle of the night and when we woke up. On the weekends it wasn't uncommon to be watching TV and just go at it in the middle of the day. We pretty much had sex at least once a day every single day for the entirety of our relationship. We were together for three years.

Now Matthew isn't quite the horny little bunny that I am and we also work opposite schedules so it's often hard to find time to fit in as much lovin' as I'd like. I work 8am-5pm, he works 1am-9am so when I'm home he's at work and vice verse. When I get home from work he's normally only been asleep for a few hours. I wake him up around 8pm so we can have dinner together and just spend that time enjoying each other's company. Then I go to bed at 10pm and he lays down with me to get a couple more hours sleep before work.

We are both off on the weekend so I've pretty much issued a mandate that lovin' will be had on those days. And he's more than happy to oblige. And he obliges well, if you know what I mean- wink.

There has been the rare occasion in the middle of the week where I'll come home from work and attempt to wake him up for a little lovin'. Some times I get what I want, some times I get "but honey I'm tireddddd". Which brings me to today's topic.

A few weeks ago my boss was being more grumpy than usual and one of the guys in the office and I were chatting about it, wondering what had brought on the increased sourness in his mood. I made the joke that maybe he wasn't getting any at home.

My co-worker replied that it was more likely the opposite and his wife giving him hell about it was probably what was responsible. He went on to inform me that the media had it all wrong. Movies and TV shows portrayed men always wanting to get it on, and women always having headaches, but in reality men just didn't really need it that much and it was women who were the sex fiends.

I think it's important to note that my co-worker is a healthy viable 25yr old male. He and his girlfriend live together. He's fit and handsome, she's gorgeous with a great body. He said that more often than not he tries to beat his girlfriend to bed so he can pretend to be asleep when she comes in, because if he's awake when she gets in bed he's almost certainly going to have to 'put out'.

You know how Scooby Doo tilts his head to the side when he's confused? That was me right about this point in the conversation. The rest of it went something like this.

I asked him,

"Do you just not like sex?".

"No, I love sex. I enjoy it."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Guys just don't need it that much. We'd rather be sleeping"

Do huh?

When did this role reversal happen? When did the universe flip upside down and women take on the role of sexual aggressors and men fill the 'honey I'm too tired' roles?

Have movies, magazines and TV always had it wrong? Is there some master conspiracy to make women think that men are just horn dogs when they could really care less if they get any or not? Or to make men think women are more often than not going to 'have a headache', so they may as well resign themselves to alone time in the bathroom with a good 'article' from Penthouse?

Or do I just live in some randomly freakish rip in the solar system where my boyfriend and the men I work with wish their women didn't think of them as sex machines? Matthew has actually said those very words to me when I asked him if I could 'get some loving'. "Gosh honey, I'm not a sex machine". He says he can 'love on me' without always having to 'sex me up'.

And he's right. Spending time cuddled on the couch wrapped in each others arms is in its own way just as satisfying as some really great sex. Sometimes even more so.

But that doesn't mean I wouldn't still like to be getting 'sexed up'. ;-)

Anyway, what's your take on this? Men, women... I'd like to hear your thoughts.


Are you really OK with just getting it every once in a while or do you wish your chic would buy stock in Tylenol and get over the 'headache'?


How often would you like your man to 'sex you up'? Once a day? Once a week? A couple of times a month?

I know I can't be the only closet nymph out there.

Can I?

*crickets chirping*

9 People who coughed on a furball:

Paul OFlaherty said...

Men like sex all the time, we just generally don't like to feel pressured into it.

Remember we like the chase, we like to feel that we've achieved, caught, earned it.. if you know what I mean. :)

Suburban Oblivion said...

If I had my way? Umm, often. Very often. Multiple times a day often.

Bella said...

My whole blog is dedicated to helping mothers have more sex...

I guess that says it all ;)

Molly C said...

I love sex. But i'm 20. I also think I have the libido of a 14 year old boy. Idk, more testosterone maybe?

Molly C said...

oh and with regard to how many times. At least once a day.

Anonymous said...

Hi... just passing thru and noticed the "sex" topic. So here's my two cents:

Me: I LOVE sex! Would have it three times a day if I could.

My Wife: Not so much. Would much rather be cuddled and held. Then maybe sex after that...

I may have to try to steer her towards Bella's blog! :)

Ella said...

Sex? What's that? Haven't had any (with another person) in nearly a year.

BTW,'re it!

greedygrace said...

Hmmm.... Before baby, it was multiple times a week.

Now, it's maybe once a week.

I like it was much as the next girl. But there are a few issues:

1. I'm a heifer.
2. Seriously, I would rather just go to sleep.
3. There are approximately 3 minutes until the baby wakes up and comes toddling into our room.

Kinda hard to sex it up like that!

Clever Elsie said...

I think the media wants us to believe that we can make generalizations about men's and women's sex drives, but really it's an individual thing. I've been with men who wanted sex more often than I did and men who weren't interested as often as I was. My female friends all have similar stories. Much depends on the individual's state of mind, hormonal balance, age, overall physical health, satisfaction in the relationship, etc., etc., etc.