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Monday, February 11, 2008

New Growth...

Ya so this blog is not about me having some kind of spiritual, mental or emotional epiphany that has and will forever change the depth of my character and the way I look at the world...

..... it's much more serious than that.

Somewhere around the beginning of last year, I don't recall the month I went to the salon with a picture of how I wanted my hair cut. I wasn't getting much cut... just getting the hair cut that had grown out some shaped up. I was letting my hair GROW OUT.

Well, the gal that cut my hair the previous time wasn't there anymore, so I was stuck trying out a newbie. Not a newbie hairdresser, she'd been cutting hair for some time.. she was just a newbie cutting MY hair.

Ya know how they say doctors and nurses are the worst patients? Well people who cut hair.. ok scratch that.. maybe not all stylist are bad customers.. Maybe it's just me. I cut hair.. and I am the worst stylee. (stylistee, er hair dressee? you get the picture) I've never gone to school for hair, it's just a natural talent I have. My mom went to cosmotology school when I was an infant and I suppose growing up watching her be the family barber took root and I've been cutting/coloring/styling hair since I was about 16. I've done people's hair for pageants, dances and weddings, etc. I was also a "professional" make-up artist for a bit.. boy that was fun ha!

Anyway.. I've always been VERY picky about who cuts my hair. For most of my childhood it was long and all one length and my mom cut it. Then I started wanting styles and layers and she quit. She said she'd rather some other poor idiot take the chance of incurring my wrath for messing up my hair than her.

I'm not vain about many things in my life but I have GREAT hair and I like to keep it that way.. yup I admit it.. I'm conceited about my hair.. deal with it. I also have a rather unusual combination of having very very thick, relatively fine hair. Thick hair is usually more coarse.. and fine hair usually tends to be more on the thin side. Not mine. So when I go into a salon I go in with very specific precise instructions. Things that work on most people's hair don't work on mine.

Razoring for texture?? Ha not unless you want me to razor the tips of your fingers off to the nub. Pull out the thinning shears to take away "some of the bulk"? I'll thin your head right off your shoulders. Now I know that may sound a bit harsh.. but trust me.. I've had enough horrifying experiences of someone who "knew what they were doing" totally screw up my hair from not listening to me to know what works and what doesn't. I know my hair, I know what certain styles, cuts and cutting instruments do to my hair.

So anyway.. as I was saying.. somewhere at the beginning of last year I went in to get my hair shaped up. It had grown to a couple of inches below my shoulders. These are the pictures I went in with...

Isn't she just YUMMY..

Miss Tiffani Amber Theissen and I have a somewhat similar facial structure.. and I've found that most of the hairstyles she's had.. I can pretty successfully pull off. So from about the age of 17, she's been my hair model. I've been told (picture me minus a lotta buncha pounds) that she and I resemble. Lord I can only wish.. if I looked like her.. sheesh.. I'd so do myself!..

Shakes my head..snap out of it Mollie!!

Sorry, forgive me.. I digress.

Well THIS is closer to the hairstyle I ended up with..(subtract an inch or so, add some really BADLY chopped up layers):

Again with the yumminess... mmmm

Ok here's the actual result.. I just wanted to post another picture of her...

Granted this isn't a BAD cut.. and I've had a similar style more than once.. but it's about FOUR INCHES SHORTER than what I wanted.. and I'd just spent the better part of a year trying to GROW MY HAIR OUT!!

Soooo my hair has grown out a good bit since then.. and I'm waiting until it's a good bit more grown out before I risk getting it cut again. See me now:

Yayyyy growing hair!

Now HERE is the reason for this blog:


I seem to be experiencing some sort of freakish new hair growth spurt.. and no matter what I do it's determined to stick STRAIGHT UP on top of my head. I know it's winter.. and the cold dry air (ha I said dry.. I live in Alabama for crying out loud get real Mollie) can make hair a bit more difficult to manage than at other times. But COME ON.

This is 2 inches of uncontrollable Alfalfa crap going on here!! I thought.. well maybe it's because I dry my hair upside down.. so I dry it right side up... nope. I thought.. hmm maybe if I put some smoothing cream in it that will help... nope. I thought well.. I'll try some heavy duty conditioner and some anti-frizz serum and surely THAT will make it lie down flat.


I took that picture this morning in the bathroom at work. I KNOW people can see it.. I can see it clearly.. and beyond slathering the top of my head with Crisco and doning a toboggan (hat) I don't know what to do.
(The slathering with oil thing.. that's so not a real option, I'm just venting).

So if anyone else has ever experienced this particular floating hair phenomenon and managed to come up with some kind of successful remedy.. PLEASE TELL ME NOW!!

0 People who coughed on a furball: