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Friday, February 29, 2008

To everything.. turn, turn turn

There is a season.. a time for Change!

If you're here then you've noticed things look a bit different. Well you'll only notice they're different now if you've been here before. In which case I say Thank you for returning! If this is your first visit. Where the hell have you been?!?

*crickets, chirp, chirp*

I really need to stop thinking I'm so damn funny.

I've decided, ok not so much decided as stumbled headfirst into the realization, that it's time to take my life in a different direction.

"Ummm Mollie", you say (hi, I'm Mollie btw - nice to meet you), Your title says Crazy Cat Lady.. isn't that the uh Wrong direction?



It's ok.. confused isn't so bad a place.. I visit there often. Usually I'll stop there during my even more frequent travels along the streets of "I'm going to over analyze things now" & "but I just don't Understand!" I wouldn't recommend staying there long though. It's more one of those "I'd like to visit but wouldn't want to live" kind of places.

Last year brought around many a realizations, moments of enlightenment, changes, determinations, melt downs and even an epiphany or two.

So it was as I was standing in Wal-mart *expletive* totally fascinated with a CAT TOY that I decided it's high past time for me to get my ass in gear and get a life.

Yesterday I waxed poetic about the beauty of Mobile, AL and realized that.. hmm other than driving to work, and driving from work, and the occasional trip to the store I have no idea what Mobile is all about. There's a LOT of really cool stuff here.

Don't be a smarty pants.. I looked online. That's how I know.

I've been using this blog as an outlet for well.. pretty much everything. Good days, bad days, funny days, sad days. Ha I rhymed. See I told you I need a life.

Well that's going to change. I still am the same gal who loves life, saving the planet, ending world hunger and poverty etc. but I'm going to leave that kind of stuff for my MySpace page. This blog is going to become the journal so to speak of my forays into the world of (whispered) dating. I say Into rather than Back into because well.. folks.. sad as it is to say. I've never dated. I went on uhh I think 2 dates in my early twenties, met my now ex fiance online in May of 2000, talked with him for a few weeks then moved in with him. That lasted 3 yrs. My first and so far only relationship took up the years of my life from ages 25 to 28. I'm now 32. I've been single, celibate and undated since November of 2003. We actually "broke up" for the last time in April, but as many of you probably know.. well.. just because you're "broken up" doesn't mean you stop boinking. November 2003 was when the dust bunnies and cobwebs took up residence in my hoo-ha. For those of you who don't speak cute genital nic name language, my vagina.

I'll give you a moment...

You're probably thinking.. either this girl is busted butt ugly, or she's nuts, or a martyr.

That's me. You decide lol

I was always a very mature, responsible, independent child. Those characteristics have only increased as I've gotten older. I was more interested in school and sports than boys so I guess I never seemed approachable by guys growing up. I was one of the guys. Much more tomboy than girly girl. Plus I didn't put out.. at all. I didn't even kiss on the first date. Well the 2 dates I had. So apparently that put me off the being asked out grid. I could spend hours upon hours trying to figure out why I was single until I was 25, but for the most part I suppose it was all just a choice.

After my ex-fiance and I stopped seeing each other I was too devastated to even think about putting myself back "out there". Why do people say "out there"? It makes dating and relationships sound like this whole other scary planet or something. No wonder I stayed away from it lol. Omg you're going "out there"?!? Where the single, horny, lonely, crazy people are?!? Nooo stay HERE.. where the realllllllly single, horny, lonely, crazy people are! It's SAFER.

See me rolling my eyes.

Anyway, it's been 4 years and by golly it's time. Yes I said by golly, get over it. I'm strange. I know it and I'm ok with it. Sort of. Mostly. Sometimes.

The problem I'm facing now is I'm relatively new to the city in which I live and I don't know anyone. I love dancing but going to a bar or club alone just isn't all that appealing to me. Plus I'm "wookin por nub" not a hook-up or an std or being cut up in little pieces and stuffed in a trunk.

So I bequeath thee, my 3 readers. Help a sistah out! How do you meet people when you don't know anyone? Where dost thou frequent to put one's self "out there"?

I can promise you the stories to follow - If I ever actually get asked on a date that is - will induce laughter.


Potential suitors must meet the following requirements:

  • Have a JOB
  • Have their OWN place or at least a place they share with a roommate, not the room they grew up in as a kid in their parent's house. Unless they now own said house and live there minus the parents.
  • Be in possession of their own personal transportation. Preferably CLEAN, or at least somewhat clean.
  • Not smoke, and only drink occasionally, or socially if at all.
  • Not expect to get laid or participate in an avid game of tonsil hockey the first time we meet.
  • Speak E N G L I S H - yo babe holla, is not an acceptable form of grammar and does not constitute a complete sentence.
  • Be passionate - about life, love, liberty and the pursuit of dark chocolate.
  • Beginning to see why I don't date?!?

1 People who coughed on a furball:

Cec said...

I really love reading your blogs. too bad you live so far away. I would go out on a date with ya :)