my mom asked her brother from across the picnic table. "Since my gums done shrunk they keep wanting to just fall out, so I left 'em at home", he replied. My uncle is only 53. I think. 53 with no teeth, or I guess teeth at home in a cup on the night stand. Welcome to Mississippi.
- Favre (yes as in Brett)
Then we're probably cousins, and those are all by blood. That doesn't even begin to cover those related by marriage. Thankfully the guys I've been uhh involved with were mostly military and from states far across the country! No little Sloths for me (Goonie's reference).
So aside from Uncle Johnny & his missing teeth..
Pause - I just text one of my cousin's because I wasn't sure if my uncle's name was spelled with a y or an ie. She doesn't know either. We're such horrible relatives.
ok back on - so there were missing teeth, my favorite aunt, who I won't clown on too badly because she is my favorite, hitting up every female there trying to sell these little leather purses she makes, (I don't carry a purse or I'd probably have gotten her to make one for me, they really were quite cute), and some hillbilly picnic tables, courtesy of my dad, the likes of which I have never before seen.
Picture this.. take the legs off of a couple of end tables. Nail those to a 1x3 piece of plywood. Use little wood triangles as braces to hold the legs to the plywood. Then take two bi-folding closet doors, knob intact and screw one set of hillbilly engineered legs to each end. Then Flip.
Viola. Redneck picnic table. Thankfully my sister is well versed in the art of decoration and crafting so she threw some purdy white table cloths on top and no one was any the wiser.
The food was pretty typical, even for somewhere other than the south, well except maybe for the black-eyed peas smothered in whole ochre. Ochre, ochres, ochri?? Hell I don't know, it looks like slimy little trees and I don't eat it. There was potato salad, baked beans, green bean casserole complete with those little fried onion stick things on top, BBQ chicken, chicken & dumplings, corn bread and banana pudding. Yummy banana pudding. Oh, and beer, lots and lots and lots of beer.
People were playing horse shoes, frisbee, kids (and adults) were dancing in the yard to music piping out of a little pink radio. Just a good time and general fun was had by all.
I have to say I was very impressed with every one's behavior. It's unheard of for more than 3 people to get together at one time in my family and someone not break out in a fight or a drunken disturbance of some kind.
There were plenty of drunks, and plenty of loudness, but all were fairly well behaved. Keep in mind well-behaved is a relative term. Well-behaved in this case would probably not be considered well-behaved in say, um, well anywhere north of Tennessee maybe, east of Alabama and west of uhh Mississippi? Maybe Louisiana, I hear those Cajuns can get pretty wild and woolly.
I know there were several more side splitting moments that happened and Mandy will be disappointed they weren't listed, but I'm exhausted (thanks to the ^%@@%#$ neighbors upstairs and their $#@^%@#$%$ humping at 12:30AM!!) and my memory process is not fully functioning. It's taken me all day to pull this one post together, that's how tired I am. =(
So in the southern drawl of one of my favorite cartoons.. That's all Folks!