Support & Appreciation


Look Who Stopped By

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

He said, she said and butt the hell out!

Rumors, innuendos, twisted words.

Have you ever played the telephone game? You sit in a circle and tell the person to your right a 'secret', then they tell the person to their right and so on until it finally makes it all the way around the circle and back to you?

And when it does you find that the secret you told, "Jane's new shirt is not flattering to her figure", has turned into, "I heard Jane is pregnant and is wearing bigger clothes to hide her stomach!"

Well the 'telephone game' has recently become the very bane of my existence.

PT's group of friends are a peculiar sort. They are as a whole a rather close group, and within that group there are several extremely tight knit smaller groups. Which is odd to me, because from what I've seen and heard, and been told, they don't seem very loyal to each other.

I'm a very honest person. I will not saying something about you to another person that I won't and probably haven't already said to your face. I expect the same level of honestly from others. If you don't like me that's fine. I'm not going to cry about it.

If you think I'm a bitch, or fat, or ugly, or whatever, that's ok too. Don't think I'll be losing sleep over it. But don't talk crap about me behind my back then act like my friend to my face. I don't care if you talk crap about me, just do it to my face. Then we can be friends.

Well PT's friends may not like outsider's or be very welcoming to allowing anyone new into their little group, but they don't seem to have any problem talking about each other to those new people - i.e. ME.

A few of his 'inner circle' and I go to the same church, and there were a few times after church that they and I hung out in the parking lot chatting about this and that. During those times I was privy to all sorts of tales about his life. Now these are people who have known him for many years, people who he considers his very best friends, who call him one of theirs and here I am just some new chic who they barely know yet they seemed to have no qualms whatsoever about sharing very personal information about him, information that he'd not yet felt comfortable telling me himself.

Which is why what's going on currently makes absolutely no sense to me what-so-ever. Since PT moved to Japan I've chiseled my circle of people whom I really talk about him with to one. It seemed awkward and just not quite right to continue to chat about him with his friends when he wasn't there. The friend I talk to is acquainted with him and his friends, but not a part of their 'circle' and doesn't really know most of them that well.

There is one however that she has known a long time and it is that one who has me white knuckling my chair in an effort not to see how much pressure it would take to put my fist through a wall. Or his face.

I bet you never imagined I was capable of such anger or violence huh? You. have. no. idea.

Well Sunday morning after church my friend, the one friend she knows well and another of PT's inner circle were casually chatting and it came up that he and I were still talking. As you may know things were a bit tense when he left so getting things back to a happy friendly place has been my main focus. If you didn't know you can read the tale of PT and I
here.

First thing this morning I get an email on facebook from PT that he'd been 'hearing stuff' and wonders what I've been 'telling people at church'.

I'm not one to pussy foot around so I shoot a reply back that pretty much said "can the crap - just tell me what you 'heard' and ask me if I said it". Well what made it to his ears was not only not true, but it didn't even come from me.

The 'one friend' took something someone else said, completely reworded it and passed it off to PT as having come from me. Well again, with the not being overly delicate, I confronted, ok maybe confront is a little bit hard, I conferred with the two gals that were involved in that conversation - I don't know the guy well and have never really spoken to him at length - and find out the truth.

This is where the post title comes in.

This guy - this 'best friend' of PT's - doesn't know me personally, I mean we've been introduced but have never really talked or interacted with one another, or anything about me really, yet seems to be going out of his way to cause drama between PT and I.

I understand being loyal to your friends. I understand looking out for them, trying to protect them if you think they're steering themselves in the wrong direction. I understand offering advice and council. I can even understand being somewhat reserved about a new person who's involvement with your friend has seemed to result in them being stressed. But flat out lying just to start crap?? That I don't get.

I have nothing to do with this guy and whether PT and I talk or not, is of no direct relationship to their friendship, yet he goes out of his way to spread lies about me. He's chosen to involve himself in something that has absolutely nothing to do with him whatsoever. And if he thinks that I won't make damn sure PT knows the truth then he's delusional. I don't do second hand knowledge. I don't operate in well he told her this who told me that.

I went directly to the people involved - got the truth, asked their permission (which was more of a courtesy than a need for permission) to screen shot the conversation and sent it back to PT. Here ya go - proof positive that your best bud is FULL OF SH*T. It's 4am in Japan right now so he's sleeping and I probably won't get a reply back until sometime later tonight or possibly tomorrow, but here's hoping that the truth will set this particular bit of drama free!

One thing I forgot to mention - and this is really the only explanation that makes any sense to me - this guy had checked out my profile on OKC before PT did, was in fact one of the 'quivers' that OKC matched me up with. Well he didn't put a shiver in my quiver if ya know what I mean.

So maybe he's just jealous that I picked PT over him - maybe it's a case of sour grapes. Then again I'm not all that so maybe not, but it sounded good! :D

2 People who coughed on a furball:

Singlegal said...

I feel your frustration! People are so silly sometimes.

Ella said...

reason #5,205 why i want to stay single for a looonnngggg time.

i am stressed just from reading about what you've been dealing with!

at the risk of sounding like a broken record...look at your wrist.