The Saints go marching...

Last Saturday I participated in a 'Walk for Life' for the Women's Resource Centers in Saraland and Mobile. My pastor is on the Sav A Life advisory board and my church is an avid supporter of the centers.

Now before you get all 'Oh you're one of those anti-abortion people' let me tell you the same thing I told my mom, who walked with me but said the same thing in a rather negative tone as soon as we got there. "This is one of those anti-abortion places isn't it?"

I am pro-life. I firmly believe that God and God alone has the right to end life. The termination of life by anyone else is murder. I do feel that in special cases, such as rape, incest or where the pregnancy could result in death of the mother and/or child, termination is something that might possibly be the only humane alternative. I know all things come together for God's glory, but I just can't see what good can come from a 12yr old who was raped by her uncle being forced to give birth.

I also want to say that I have a problem with people who choose to see things as 'anti' rather than 'pro'. My mom argued with me about this as well but I firmly believe that mindset is so important in how we view things. It's the old adage of seeing a glass half empty instead of half full. Technically both glasses have the same amount of fluid in them, but whether you choose to see that in a positive or negative light is so important.

I choose to always try and see things positively. I don't always succeed, but I do always try. I simply choose life over death. And for me personally, yes the decision is that simple.

So back to the walk. This was the first walk for the Women's Resource Centers and the turnout was fantastic. The weather was great, the atmosphere was positive and loving and the testimonies given by women who'd been helped by the centers were moving and heartfelt. It was a 2 mile walk and we walked around Hank Aaron Stadium ending on home plate for a moment of prayer. Below are some photos of the walk, and below that are some details about the Women's Resource Centers and what they do.

Pastor Ed Litton welcoming everyone

A women who chose LIFE giving her testimony

Let the walk begin!

Heading to home plate for a moment of prayer

Mom and I at the end of the walk.

The Women's Resource Center has two locations:

Mobile Center

308 S. Sage Avenue

Mobile, AL 36606

251.473.4000

Saraland Center

1088 Industrial Pkwy, Ste 3

Saraland, AL 36571

251.675.0911

They offer the following services, free of charge:

• Pregnancy testing
• Confidential & compassionate options counseling
• Sonograms
• Information on Abortion & Alternatives
• Adoption Counseling & Referrals
• Maternity & Infant Clothes
• Labor & Delivery Classes
• Parenting Classes
• Community Resource/ Medical Referrals
• Post-Abortion Counseling

Choose Life!

Your mom did

So like ummm yea

I normally wouldn't do this, but I'm so completely in disbelief at the converstation I just had that want to get some other views to see if I missed something.

This guy on OkCupid messaged me earlier today. We chatted for a while, had some decent converstation then he signed off for a while and I went to lunch.

Well he messages me back a couple of hours later and the following conversation takes place.

Before I post the conversation I'll give you some background on my 'friend' here. He's an aspiring film maker who apparently has a love of all things film, but is currently working at a hotel to fund the necessities of life.

I've changed his ID out of consideration for his privacy and his err seemingly fragile ego. And I've *** some of the not so nice words he used.

Here we go -

Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:24:09 PM): I hate this show!
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:24:31 PM): what the heck are you watching when you're supposed to be paying attention to talk to me?
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:25:00 PM): I was NOT watching Scrubs
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:25:16 PM): uh huh sureeee
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:25:26 PM): I've actually never seen a full episode of that
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:25:43 PM): It irks me as do many others
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:26:00 PM): I have about 5 shows that I'm addicted to, but other than that I don't watch much tv
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:26:11 PM): what shows?
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:26:16 PM): you first lol
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:26:29 PM): No you
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:26:48 PM): smallville, supernatural, house, bones, desperate house hoes, Greys and Ugly Betty
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:26:54 PM): ok so maybe that's like 7
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:27:10 PM): Oh lord haha
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:27:23 PM): oh and ghost whisperer but that's more b/c J Love Hewitt is a hot little thing
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:27:34 PM): with really nice tetas
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:27:53 PM): I am biting my tongue
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:28:03 PM): oh no.. spit it out
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:28:18 PM): I'm dying to hear what you're thinking lol
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:29:01 PM): Just such repetitive sappy crap and Ghost Whisperer has terrible sound
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:29:42 PM): there is so nothing sappy about House lol
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:29:49 PM): he's a total d*ck - which is why I love the show
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:30:14 PM): oh let me be an asshole and not really help you save peoples lives but kinda help is like every f*cking episode haha
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:30:46 PM): everyone has their different likes and dislikes lol
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:30:54 PM): that's what makes the world such an interesting place
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:31:23 PM): No I am actually certified to say what sucks and doesn't haha
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:31:43 PM): uh huh and monkeys might fly out of my ass
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:31:50 PM): Um no
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:31:56 PM): If you mock me on this area we are done
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:33:20 PM): I suppose it was nice talking to you then John Bob Jones
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:33:44 PM): Fine then. This is my professional area
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:34:15 PM): that's fine, but it doesn't mean people don't have a right to their opinions sweet heart. I know plenty of 'professionals' who suck at their profession
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:34:28 PM): and I don't kiss anyone's ass, no matter how cute or well spoken they are
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:34:42 PM): Fine then insinuate I suck at mine. Any f***ing idea how god d*mned rude you sound?
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:34:52 PM): rofl
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:35:04 PM): Fine laugh I'm done here you're rude
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:35:10 PM): a few things before you go
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:35:17 PM): No
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:35:26 PM): 1. I didn't insinuate YOU were rude. I said I know people who aren't great at their profession
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:35:37 PM): 2. GD is a very ugly word - I take offense at the use of it
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:35:51 PM): 3. If you're being serious then well I'm just sorry for you lol
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:35:55 PM): Well I take offense at you being rude to my profession
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:36:33 PM): kiddo you work at a Hotel - I hate it for you but until you're making big bucks as a producer then front desk clerk is your Profession
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:37:08 PM): F*CK OFF GOD GOD GOD D*MMIT D*MMIT D*MMIT
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:37:49 PM): how old are you again?
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:38:02 PM): Leave me the f*ck alone
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:38:12 PM): omg you're really serious?

You may begin to sense my disbelief here..

Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:38:21 PM): Yes you went way over the line
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:38:21 PM): like seriously for real serious?

continuing disbelief..

Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:38:57 PM): oh wow you need to grow up sweetheart. If you start taking sh*t someone says in an IM personal you're going to get your little pride all skinned up in the real world
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:39:22 PM): Yeah pardon I want someone to f*cking take what I am going to do with my life seriously
Filmguy (10/24/2008 2:39:29 PM): you have no respect do me a favor f*ck off
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:39:43 PM): you haven't even told me what you 'do with your life' other than working at a hotel
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:40:08 PM): and making JUDGMENTS about someone's tv program taste isn't a profession d*ck, it's an OPINION
Dmpl Grl (10/24/2008 2:46:13 PM): I have to say I'm in total disbelief here - but if I truly offended you I apologize, that was not my intention

So did I miss something or is this guy really just totally off his rocker??

By the way - he replied to my sincere apology with a 'f*ck off'

Just call me Grace - Kelly that is

I stole this meme from that crazy chic over at Why Are You Stalking Me? and I have to admit it's pretty darn on the spot.

Which Female Icon are you?

Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else?

You are a Grace -- "I need to understand the world."
Graces have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me
* Be independent, not clingy
* Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
* I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts
* Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable
* Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity
* If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place
* Don't come on like a bulldozer
* Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy

What I Like About Being a Grace
*standing back and viewing life objectively
* coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
* my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
* not being caught up in material possessions and status
* being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Grace

* being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
*feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
* being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
* watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Graces as Children Often
* spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
* have a few special friends rather than many
* are very bright and curious and do well in school
* have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
* watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
* assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
* are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
* feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Graces as Parents
* are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
* are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
* may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
* may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? at HelloQuizzy

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge..mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food.. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . having a drivers license.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. ... having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends
At age 80 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;

BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Please press 1 for..

I’m on a mission.

In an effort to restrain myself from hunting down the bastards that keep calling my cell phone and running up my minutes just so I can listen to some stupid recording about a free cruise I won, or worse yet, DEAD AIR!, I’m joining forces with the people at www.reportphonenumbers.com.

When you get a call from some random number and it turns out to be a recording to 'Press One!' so you can register your unwanted and unasked for entry to win an imaginary 4 day/3 night stay at < insert name of bs luxury resort here > go post their number on the website.

I don't know about you but I don't have unlimited minutes for a reason and I sure as heck don't want to waste the minutes I do have listening to dead air, or a recording telling me to 'please hold this is a very important call'. If you're calling me and asking me to hold it can't be too damn important now can it?!

Aaaaaaaachewwwwwwwwww

The weather change is playing havoc with my sinuses. Yesterday I couldn't have blown my nose if I wanted to, and today I have a roll of toilet paper on my desk for the non-stop drip. And if I sneeze one more time I'm very likely to wet my pants.

I know that's so sexy and you just wouldn't have been able to make it throughout the rest of your day unless I shared.

So you're welcome.

Now if any of you have any clout with Mother Nature - please tell the witch to stop playing with the seasons and just pick one already!

Sunshine delays

When I lived in Michigan that's what the morning traffic report guy called it when traffic was really backed up in the am because the glare of the sun had temporarily rendered everyone blind.

This morning we're experiencing a little heavy traffic on the expressway - just the normal sunshine delays.

Since I lost my favorite (only) pair of sunglasses I’ve been experiencing some serious sunshine delays myself. I’ve never been one of those people who can justify spending thirty or forty, heck even twenty dollars on a pair of sunglasses.

I think the last pair I bought cost somewhere around eight bucks and they lasted for months. If I had just tightened the screw when it came loose instead of wiggling the arm to see just how much longer I had until it fell off I’d still be wearing them. I uh wiggled too hard. It broke.

I’ve been thinking about getting some of those transition lens glasses that automatically adjust and get darker when you step outside. The problem with that is I don’t really need eyeglasses. I have a slight astigmatism that calls for such a small prescription that my eye doctor actually said it was up to me if I wanted to get it filled or not. Other than that I have perfect vision. Better than perfect in one eye actually, 20/20 in one and 20/15 in the other. Don’t ask me what that means, I have no idea. I just know I can see well.

I do have a slight light sensitivity though so I’m thinking I may just say to heck with it and get the transition lenses anyway. Plus I can totally pull off glasses. Think sexy librarian. I didn’t say that’s what I actually looked like in glasses, I just said think it! I think one of the main reasons I’ve been holding off is the cost. Glasses can be expensive. Even with a very minor prescription, if you want a frame that’s not going to end up making your look like Sally Jessie Raphael then you’re going to fork out some bucks.

I was just reading an article from the Chicago Tribune, and according to the Vision Council of America, Americans spend about $16 billion a year on eyeglass frames and lenses. And the majority of them are overpaying. It seems people don’t ‘shop around’ as much as they should for better prices when it comes to eye wear. Now if you actually require glasses to see then I can totally understand wanting to make sure you’re getting quality eye wear, but some people just seem to want to pay more for fancy name brands.

Ha ha on those people. If you think you’re shelling out mega bucks for glasses made by Armani or Ralph Lauren think again. You’re just paying for the name. Big designers like that don’t actually make the frames they just license their names out to regular manufacturers. So you could buy a look-a-like pair without the name stamped on it for a fraction of the cost and you’ll probably be getting the exact same frame, made from the same factory.

Then again, all this thinking about frames, and prescriptions and prices is just giving me a headache, so maybe I’ll just pick up another $8 pair of plain ol’ sunglasses next time I’m at Wal-mart.

It's like butt floss

It seems that finally, after 5 years of self imposed isolation, my social life is finally beginning to blossom.

Several months ago I signed up on this site called meetup.com. It's basically a site that helps transplants, people who are new in a city, meet other transplants and locals. Kind of like a new friend finder service. Well I signed up on this Mobile group and ended up going on a few outings the group leader set up.

We met for dinner at this fantastic little Asian restaurant one night, got together for a few games of pool another, then had a dinner and a movie night. Well Luna, the lady who set up the group thought she was being transferred for work so she closed it and my socializing kind of hit a dead end.

Yay for flaky business plans - she isn't being transferred after all and she messaged me on myspace last week to invite me to a get together with a couple other gals. I tell you the invite couldn't have come at a better time. With the stress of the PT situation, feeling bummed about just not being able to connect with anyone else, and a plethora of other crap going on I really needed a night out.

So I headed out to Luna's, where I re-met Jennifer (she'd been at a couple of the previous get togethers), and Patty - a super funny and cute chic with dimples like mine. We sat and chatted about our experiences with online dating, all 4 of us are on Plentyoffish, ate pizza, and topped off the evening with a few hilarious hours of Taboo.

I'd never played before, but I have to tell you, I rock at that game. If Patty had been a better score keeper; she kept forgetting to write down our points when the other team used words they shouldn't have lol, we would have totally kicked Luna & Jennifer's butts! As it was we only lost by a few points, but we did get the best round of the night with my crafty description of roof top weaving which led to Patty guessing the word thatch - then her genius connection from that to Margaret Thatcher.

Oh - about the title of this post, that was Patty's description for the word Thong. :)

Faith, Hope and LOVE

I have a new favorite song. It's possible I've heard it before today, but if I did it didn't 'catch' and stick with me.

A lot of things have been going on in my life these days, one of which is PT. Although calling him a 'thing' doesn't seem very nice. It's more the situation I find myself in with him, than him that I'm referring to. I've been down and stressed and feeling really unsure of myself lately as a result of not understanding the whole situation or having any idea where it's going or how to proceed.

Well last night he did something that would seem so small and insignificant to most, but it was a big thing for me, and I think definitely a step forward for him. No, I'm not going to tell you what it was lol. Anyway, it made me smile and I just got this sense of peace that no matter how it all turned out that everything was going to be ok.

Then on the way to work this morning I heard this song. It just fit with everything I was feeling and I took it as sort of a confirmation that I was going in the right direction. I apologize about the crummy quality of the video but it's the only one I could find of the actual band singing. The band is Addison Road, and the song is Hope Now. Lyrics are below the video. I hope you like it.

If everything comes down to love

Then just what am I afraid of

When I call out Your name

Something inside awakes in my soul

How quickly I forget I'm Yours

(PRE-CHORUS)

I'm not my own

I've been carried by You

All my life

(CHORUS)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm

Rising waters all I want is the shore

You say I'll be ok and

Make it through the rain

You are my shelter from the storm

(PRE-CHORUS)

I'm not my own

I've been carried by You

All my life

(CHORUS)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

(CHORUS 2)

Everything rides on hope now

Everything rides on faith somehow

When the world has broken me down

Your love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire

I will sing Your praises higher

Cause Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

Your love sets me free

Go Green and Get Going!

When I lived in Michigan I briefly had Charter for my Cable and Internet service provider. Good company, good service, good prices.

Well it seems that they’re stepping up their game and taking an interest in the environment as well.

With all of the things people have going on in their lives these days convenience is something that everyone not only looks for but appreciates when they find. Bundling services is one convenience that I myself have taken advantage of.

Before I moved back south I was one of the few people on the planet who still had a home telephone. You know, one of those deals you plug into the wall? I know, I know I’m so behind the times. Anyway I had my cable, phone and Internet all through my cable company and I’ll be honest, it’s so much easier dealing with just one bill than 3. Not to mention it’s a heck of a lot cheaper too!

Now that I’ve finally moved into the cellular age, I only bundle my cable and Internet services, but it’s still cheaper and I get such great service that I’m not sure I’d use a separate provider for the two even if it saved me a few bucks.

Oh yea, we were talking about Charter and the environment – back to it.

So Charter is running this Go Green and Save Green promo. You bundle your services and, this is the part I really like, if you're super lucky you might win a 2009 Civic Hybrid. I totally want one of these cars.

I don't get Charter in my area, but if you do you should definitely go check out what they have to offer. And when you win a brand new Honda Civic Hybrid hop in and take a drive down to Mobile, AL to thank me. =)

When 100% just isn't quite enough

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs experience.

Here is a little something someone sent to me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.

This is a strictly a mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%


and


K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%


But,



A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%


And,


B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%


AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.


A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%


So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.

Trickless treating

Halloween is quickly approaching and I can't say that I'm any more enthused than I would be if I were getting a root canal. Woo. Yay. Rah. and stuff.

I think the last time I dressed up for halloween was wayyyy back in 1994-95ish. I was an Indian Princess. My hair was really long and I braided it Pocohantas style, and wore a 'Indian maiden' dress that my mom made.


It looked something like this
halloween costumes online and I think this one fits me right about now.

My mom wants to decorate the apartment, but I just can't seem to get into the 'holiday' spirit. I'm kind of bummed about the whole dating thing, then there's the fact that I've never, not one time, ever been invited to a costume party. I know trick or treating is for kids, but adults dress up and have fun too. Yet somehow I always end up sitting at home like a bump on a log. I really need to get out and meet some new people. Hopefully joining the church will help with that.

But until my social circle broadens I think I may just dress up anyway. I was checking out

Sexy huh?

Speaking of love...

The mother-daughter bond

If you have it then you should thank God every single day for the blessing you probably don't even realize you've been given.

If you're like me, and you don't have it, then you thank God every day for giving you the strength to get through the void left from not feeling like you have what every girl should. A mom.

My mother and I have never been close. Ever. From the youngest age that I can remember I have just never felt that connection to her that most little girls feel for their mommies.

When I try to think back and pick out a particular thing that may have caused the initial disconnect, I can think of one, and it's not something I'm willing to discuss here, but that particular incident aside there are several things that I believe are responsible for the breach in our relationship, not only then but throughout the years.

I'm not going to say she was a terrible mother. She wasn't quite as bad as Mommie Dearest.

But she wasn't exactly June Cleaver either.

I think I mentioned in a previous post that my mom moved in with me recently. I was nervous about having her live with me. We don't see eye to eye on, well, a lot. I've lived on my own for a long time, and I like things a certain way and frankly I just wasn't sure we'd be able to live peacefully under the same roof.

I was partially right.

I suppose the initial conflict came from a misunderstanding of why I'd asked her to move in. My sister called me because she was worried about our mom. She asked if I would be willing to 'take her in' so to speak. I said yes. Mom some how got the idea that I asked her to move in with me because I and I quote 'wanted her to be a part of my life'.

I'm 32yrs old. I'm past the age of trying to make up for lost time, or get back something I never had as far as the mommy/daughter bond. I lived 50 minutes away from her before she moved in. Half the time I went to see my niece she wasn't around, or was there long enough to say hi and left to go do what ever. If she was really concerned with visiting with me I figure she'd have hung around when I was in town.

My mom is a talker. She likes to chat about anything and everything. I am not. I very much enjoy an intellectual conversation, but just random small talk is not my thing. I choose my words sparingly. I don't always need a reply, or an update, or just random chat about nothing in particular. I don't need to know what you ate, or that your stomach hurts, or what you watched on TV. If I want to know something I'll ask. If I don't ask it's usually a safe assumption that I don't care to know.

I know that sounds cold and impersonal, but it's just how I am. There are certain people that I connect with, that I care about in a particular way that causes me to desire knowing them in a way I've never felt about my mother. I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with me, and 2 or 3 already have, but for the most part they've all told me the same thing; I'm different. I have different views, different beliefs, different desires for my life, and my mother didn't reflect those things so I just never formed a connection to her.

Things have been a bit tense lately. She wants to talk, I don't. She wants to try and be mom/daughter. I just don't feel it. I try to be polite and honest, but it's just not in me to lie and pretend I feel something I don't. Even if it spares her feelings.

I'd like to think that one day we can get to where we can be friends. But for that to happen she'll have to come to terms with the fact that I'll never be like my sister when it comes to my relationship with her. I'll never feel the 'mommy' bond. That is something that is built at a very very young age, and it either is there or it isn't. And as much as I wish I could say differently - it simply isn't there with us.

I know there are things we need to talk about, but every time I try she gets defensive and angry. I've gotten past the anger so I can just talk about things civilly, and I think the fact that I don't get emotional just eggs her on even more. Then there's the issue of our vastly different recollection of how things were. Her memory of my childhood seems to vary quite a bit from mine.

I'm open minded enough to know that the way she relates the past may very well be how she remembers it, but what she doesn't understand is that just because my memories are different than hers it doesn't mean that hers are totally right, or that mine are totally wrong.

But having said all that, I do know that my relationship or lack there of with my mother is one of the things holding me back from where God wants me to go, so it's something that I've got to figure out how to work on.

I've been doing some reading online today about mother-daughter bonds and how some girls have them and some don't. One of the things most of the articles I've read keep bringing up is how daughters often have such a hard time talking to their mothers because the mother gets defensive and hears something totally different than what the daughter is saying. So they suggested writing a letter. I thought about doing that on here, but then I thought it might be best to keep some of the issues private. More for her than me. I've shared just about everything that can be shared on here lol, but this is me talking about my life. The letter will be more me talking about hers. So for privacy sake I've decided to write the letter the old fashioned way. Type it up and print it.

But I will keep you guys in the loop about how it works out. So wish me luck, wisdom with my words, a box of tissue and a shovel to start tearing down the wall of 'eh' that's kept me from the world in general for so many years.

Put a little love in your heart

I finally found a home. A church home that is. Sunday morning I became a member of 1st Baptist Church of North Mobile. I've been looking for a new church for 2yrs now, since I left Michigan and I am so so happy to say I've finally found the one for me.

Moving is hard, you change friends, jobs, houses. But the most difficult change for me is finding a new church. My faith is very important to me, and over the years I've discovered that I really need the community, communion and companionship of other believers you get in a good church home. I look forward to hearing the Word, and singing praises to God. It lifts me, and gets me through the week.

Joining the church is a big step for me. It's not just saying ok, I dig the singing here and the pastor is pretty cool, so this is where I'll visit on Sunday's. For me it's a decision to open myself to letting people in, and letting myself out. It's a decision to learn again how to open my heart to relationships, and to love, in spite of the fear of being hurt, or let down, or disappointed.

I know it's one of the most preached verses in the Bible, the 'Love Chapter', but 1st Corinthians Chapter 13 has always been one of the most influential books in the Bible for me. Most especially the following-

1 Corinthians 13
7. It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8. Love never fails...

Love isn't something I've had a lot of positive experience with in my life, but the idea, the hope, the faith that love, true love, all encompassing, agape love exists is something I've always held close to my heart.

I've been told I'm naive, that I'm holding on to a dream that only exists in story book fairy tales, but that's ok. I'd honestly rather hold on to the dream than settle for less and live disillusioned. My happy ever after is out there. I believe that. I can't not.

Oh, and speaking of new church experiences. Find out more about how CineMeetings & Events, a division of National CineMedia, is holding the first annual Theatre Church Conference in Silver Spring, MD, October 22-23, 2008. This event will bring together respected thought leaders, pastors and church leaders from the nation’s most innovative growing churches to discuss and find out more about the future of theatre worship. Follow the link to find out more.

Just saying...

What the world needs now..

Well not so much what the world needs, as much as what I need. A smile.

I'm feeling a bit gloomy today - thank you rainy weather (and other stuff) - and this video makes me laugh no matter how many times I see it so I thought I'd share with you all. I dare you to watch it and not at least crack a smile ;)

Can't buy me love

So the search for ‘the one’ continues; Mr. Right, my knight in shining armor, my one true love.

There are a few guys currently in the ‘chat pile’. Meaning over the past week or two I’ve been talking to them either online on messenger or through text and phone calls.

So far we’re just ‘chatting’. Not yet moved on to actual ‘meeting’.

I’m noticing a trend though. The guys to whom I’m physically attracted – suck at conversation. I get a lot of you’re so pretty, and… well that’s about it. Talking to them is like trying to pull teeth. This one guy insists on calling rather than texting, but once we get on the phone he just sits there, like dum de dum. He’s absolutely adorable, but we just don’t seem to have anything to talk about.

Then there are the guys who give really great conversation. We can talk for extended periods of time about multiple topics and conversation just flows. Some of them are cute, in a ‘eh he’s cute’ kind of way, but there’s no physical spark, at least on my end. I know you can only tell so much from a picture, but when it comes to stuff like that I think some times you just can tell if there’s something there, something more than a potentially good friend.

Then there are the guys like my Puerto Rican friend over in MS who in spite of their vocalized interest in ‘getting to know me’ are, I really think only interested in hooking up. And I’m just not a ‘hook up’ kind of gal.

So far there has only been one guy I’ve encountered via the world of internet dating that really just sparked my interest in both a physical and mental kind of way – heck in an every kind of way, and that was PT. PT and I have recently begun talking again, but that is another blog for another day.


I thought maybe I just wasn’t on the right dating sites so I checked out True.com this morning. I keep seeing ads for them on myspace and other sites so I thought I’d give it a try. Like most sites it’s completely free to sign up, and you can even search for free. But that's where the freedom ends.

You spend twenty minutes taking all of these personality profiles; what kind of communicator am I, what kind of sex do I like, am I ready to commit, then you have to pay to send a message to someone. Maybe I haven't hit that particular point of desperation, but I'm just not willing to pay for a date. I weakened once and did a one month membership on yahoo personals and got doodoo results. So for now I'll stick with the freebies.

Hey, I met PT on a free site - maybe if I hold out long enough I'll find another one like him who actually is ready for a serious relationship.

Here's hoping!

Well piss in my cheerios!

My last post was all happy, joy, joy. I finally after ten years was going back to school. Then I get this comment.

Anonymous said...

Congrats on school!

Be careful with Virginia College though. They told me they were "accredited" and I basically wasted two years and $16,000 with that school. When I "earned my degree" and started the job hunt, I was told by numerous companies that they didn't consider a degree from VC to be anything more than a piece of paper. I tried to enroll in a state university and to my surprise, none, I repeat none of the classes I had taken at VC were transferable. I had to retake EVERY SINGLE CLASS.

Before you waste time and a lot of money, call around (not to VC) but to different companies that require a BS you'd be interested in working for and ask them if a BS degree from VC is accepted by them. And call other major universities in your area and ask them if they'll transfer hours from VC to their university.

I wish I had done more research before I dove in.

Good luck to you.

When I originally decided to go back to school I applied to the University of Mobile. They are a Christian school and other than being a bit pricey I've heard nothing but good things about them. But I just wasn't sure that I would be able to swing the time to actually attend classes and work full time so I opted for online school instead, which led me to Virgina College.

After receiving the comment above I called University of Mobile and asked if I decided to transfer there after a year or so at VC would I be able to transfer any of my credits. Well I'll be damned if I didn't get a big fat NO as the answer.

Apparently there are two types of accreditation when it comes to colleges and universities. There may be more than two, but these two are the ones that are important to my particular situation.

“Accreditation” is a process of external quality review used by higher education to scrutinize colleges, universities and educational programs for quality assurance and quality improvement. In the United States, accreditation is carried out by private, non-profit organizations designed for this specific purpose.

• Regional accrediting organizations operate in six different regions of the country and review entire institutions, 98 percent or more of which are both degree-granting and nonprofit. Regional organizations may also accredit non-degree, for-profit institutions, but this is a rare occurrence.

• National accrediting organizations operate throughout the country and review entire institutions. Of the nationally accredited institutions, 34.8 percent are degree-granting and 65.1 percent are non degree- granting. 20.4 percent are nonprofit and 79.5 percent are for profit. Many are single purpose institutions focused on a specific mission such as education in information technology or business. Some are faith based.

Now apparently most major universities and colleges are Regionally accredited whereas schools like Virginia college have National accreditation. And most regionally accredited schools do not accept transfer credits from nationally accredited schools.

It also seems to be the case that most major universities and colleges receive their accreditation from the Council for Higher Education Accreditation in Washington, DC, while other schools, again such as VC, receive their accreditation from the Accrediting Council for Independent Colleges and Schools, also located in Washington, DC. But I didn't find that out because there is an address listed anywhere on their website. Nope, I had to do my own sleuthing and trace where the area code to the numbers on their site comes from.

So pissed is a very very mild way of describing my current mental and emotional state. I called VC after talking to University of Mobile and withdrew from all of my classes. They may be 'nationally' accredited but it's just not a chance I'm willing to take that I'll spend four years and sixty-five thousand dollars to obtain a degree that might not be worth the paper it's written on.

I have a feeling that they intentionally do NOT tell you that there are different types of accreditations or that most universities will not accept their credits. On the discussion boards for the three classes I'm currently registered there were several posts from students who stated they were attending VC in order to rise up the ladder, get better jobs, further their education. I can't imagine how upset and angry they'll be to proudly show off their degree on their resume only to have a prospective employer say 'ehh close but no cigar'.

I posted a message on the discussion board of all three classes telling everyone what I'd learned today and expressing my intense disappointment about being misled and having wasted valuable time and energy enrolling in school for classes that I'd end up having to take over when I transferred to another university.

Thankfully there are two classes left open that are starting at the end of October at UofM that I can enroll in so I don't have to wait until January to start school (again!) and after explaining my situation to the admissions office they're going to try and rush the enrollment process so I can get started. But now I'll have to attend a physical class two evenings a week from 6-10 and every Saturday from 8-5 for two months in order to get in under the wire to qualify for financial aid.

I'm not sure why I'll need to take two when their CAPS (center for adult programs) is usually just one night a week and one Saturday a month, but I'm still waiting for someone from UofM's financial aid office to call me so I can figure out what all I need to do to cancel the grant and loans I was awarded for VC and redo the process for UofM. So once I find out and get enrolled and start classes - again! - I'll be sure to fill you all in on what's going on.

I wish Anon had left a name so I could thank him for his warning. He saved me from making a drastic mistake. But he didn't so Anon - if you read this post -

Thank You!

Thank You!

Thank You!

And Virginia College - you can Bite Me!

Club hopping

One of the discussion assignments for the Intro to Business class that I'm no longer taking was about opening a business. There are several reasons I chose Business Admin as my major but one was that I plan on opening a Dance Club in a few years.

Which got me to thinking about how much I hate smelling like an ashtray after spending a few hours out at club or bar. I wonder, would people still go to a dance club if it was non-smoking? What if there was a smoking area outside? I've been in bars that had hepa air purifiers to help minimize the smoke and they help a lot, but you still end up stinking when you leave.

What do you think? If there was a club, which by the way only played positive music with fantastic beats, but was no smoking would you go?

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post

Ready, set, learn!

I've received my books in the mail.

I've set up my desk at home.

I've got 5 days until classes officially begin.

And I am about half way into full fledged 'OMG I'm actually going back to school, what if I don't remember how to study, or do homework, or..or..or!' panic mode.

It almost seems surreal. It's taken me ten years to finally get to where I feel ready to go back to college. I'm really excited, but at the same time I'm also really very nervous.

What if I don't have the capacity for memory recall that I did when I was younger, what if I really need the stimulus of actual in class discussion, what if, what if, what if.

I guess it's normal to be a little anxious. I mean even when we were kids, the first day of a new year held the stigma of the unexpected. What teachers will I have, will I like my classes, will I meet and make new friends, will the cafeteria finally serve decent food for lunch?

I think even more awe inspiring than the actual going back to school part is the idea that in a little less than 4 years I will have a Bachelors Degree in Business Administration. I will be a college graduate. The first in my immediate family.


If you've thought about going back to school and don't think you have the time for traditional classes, I really encourage you to check into online learning. There are many accredited online colleges to choose from. I chose Virginia College because they also have a local campus here in Mobile, so if I decided I really want and can make time for the classroom experience I can make an easy transition.

I know not every program of study can be done online, but you'd be surprised at how many actually can. Heck you can become an ultrasound technician online, or a teacher, or a master of graphic design. The possibilities are endless!

Knowledge IS Power. Educate Yourself!!

Declare yourself!

This year we are facing one of, if not the, most important presidential elections in the history of the United States.

Why should you vote?

You shouldn't. Unless you care about..... well, anything.

Gonna buy me a vacation home

Aside from the terribly poor sentence structure, oh and the current housing crisis, that sounds like a good idea huh?

A friend and I were talking about the bail out yesterday and we’re both of the same opinion that if people would stop being greedy and buying crap they can’t afford the country wouldn't be in a financial crisis, housing or otherwise.

But doing something as logical as, oh I don’t know, saving money so you have a decent down payment, or making sure you could afford payments for something you purchase before buying would be down right un-American.

But that’s a rant for another day. Today I want to imagine that I’ve won the Publisher’s Clearing House drawing and I’ll be cashing a fat check for $5,000 every week for the next 30 years.

I want to imagine that I can go out next week and pick out the house of my dreams and slap down $20k for a down payment without breaking a sweat. Then I want to think about calling up some Realtors in Portland and seeing what they can find me in the way of a vacation home, nothing big or fancy, just a cute little bungalow somewhere that I could go for a week or two when I wanted to get away. I’m thinking Portland.

A friend I went to high school with lives in Portland and she says it's beautiful. A cute, cozy little town where people walk to the coffee shop and everyone knows your name. Very Dawson's Creek'ish. Every picture I've ever seen of Portland is just gorgeous, and it would definitely be a weather change from Alabama.

So while the rest of the country is freaking out because they got themselves strapped into a huge mortgage without a fixed rate, I'm going to sit back and imagine calling up some Portland Realtors and start picking out my vacation home.

Come imagine with me :)