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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Reminders of You (a part of the Mind Ripper Story)

Showered , dressed and out the door to start another day,
Determined not to admit things have changed in any way
It’s been almost two hours since I forced myself out of bed.
I can do this, I tell myself, keeping thoughts of you from my head.

So far so good, I’m driving down the road,
Then our song comes on the radio and the memories explode.
Amazed is the song the radio plays, we used to sing it to each other.
Held tightly in your arms dancing. You swore you’d never love another.

Little things here and there, things we did together,
Taking in an evening movie in the rainy weather.
Every song the radio plays seems to be about you players,
haters and heartache creators.

It’s all I can do just to remember to breath
The road before me blurs as the tears begin to fall,
How could you do this to me, did you ever love me at all?

Everywhere I turn I see constant reminders.
I just can’t believe that all this time I’ve been wearing blinders.
You cried one night when we made love, you asked me to be your wife
We’ve had so many wonderful times, overcome so much turmoil and strife


You know what, I’m just way to pissed and irritated right now to finish this poem. Maybe it’s better to feel anger than hurt, but the hurt always comes back stronger and more painful than before. Every where I look something reminds me of him, of us, of our love and our life together. He called me his Brutiful Baby Girl, his Brat, his best friend. He was my Beautimus baby boy, my sunshine and my angel. I prayed for God to send me love and now it’s being taken away. Is it because he (my love) is trying to make his own path? Is he straying away from the one God has for us? How can someone be in love with someone one day then not want to be with them the next? Does anyone have any idea how much this pisses me off?? I want to scream and shout and cry and rage out against the pain he’s causing me, while he’s going along with his life like nothing is wrong.

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