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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

What a pretty face..

This is a saying I've heard countless times throughout my life. What those kind people who say this don't realize is that what they are saying is the pretty much the same as when cocky partially brain dead guys (I'll give them some credit) get together and scope out chics. Usually there is a rating system.

You've got

Totally smokin or as an old friend puts it "mad bangin"- hot face, hot body.

Buttaface - hot body, face... well there's always the dark.. and doggy style.

and finally Buttabody,

Man that girl has a pretty face...

But... her... body...

I know they mean well, and are genuine when they say it, but all it does to the person hearing it is point out how un-pretty the rest of their body is.

I've always been "thick". I'm guessing that I picked up those particular genes from my birth father's side of the family. His mom & aunts are all healthy women. Tall, stout, strong. Not necessarily big, but definitely not dainty or petite.

My mom is 5'6 and probably wears an 6-8 in pants, my sister is 5'3 and well her waist is about the size of my thigh, my brother 5'11, 165lbs soaking wet.

Here are the four of us (mom, me, sister & brother) at my sister's wedding.

Which of these things is not like the other??

When I was younger I was very athletic so even though I was larger than most girls my age I was very fit. Firm. Solid. No jiggly. I played softball on a city league, volleyball in college & basketball on a church team (that only lasted one season - I'm short).

But alas, with age things change. Body parts lose elasticity, things start heading south and really important organs stop functioning properly. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism about 3 years ago. I had put on quite a bit of weight in a very short period of time and hadn't change anything in my eating or exercise habits to explain it. I joined Bally's & started working out 5 days a week 1-2 hours a day and met with a personal trainer once a week who completely kicked my butt. 6 weeks later, no weight loss. Not one single pound. A friend suggested I get my thyroid checked out and viola' I had my answer.

I've put off talking about losing weight much on this blog for a few reasons. One, it's personal. Two, well duh, I don't want anyone knowing what I weigh. Plus I've read a few weight loss blogs and that seems to be all the writers post about. Granted they could very well be just weight loss blogs, but that's not what I want this one to be. So I've finally decided to bite the bullet and create one just for journalling my weight loss adventures and mishaps. I've put a link over to the left for your clicking enjoyment (and my own personal humiliation)

Why now? Well I've recently learned that in addition to having hypothyroidism, which causes me to gain weight very very easily and makes losing it ten times more difficult, I also have PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (which also causes weight gain, yay me!). I won't bore you with the details of what PCOS is but if you want you can read about it
here. One fact I will share with you though about PCOS is, and in regards to my longing to become a mother, the most important. It causes infertility, which means having PCOS will make it extremely difficult if not impossible to conceive.

So as a good friend pointed out the other day on the phone my biological clock is ticking and if I want any chance at having a child biologically I'd better get on it. Thanks friend. (rolling eyes here) No really, he is a good friend and I love him dearly. Up until now there's been one major problem with that happening, ok 2 major problems, but we're talking aside from the PCOS. I don't have a man. I'm not, nor have I been in a relationship with a person of the male (or female - but that's not relevant here) gender for almost 5 years. It's been a while but last I heard there had to be a guy involved in procreation in some way, shape or form.

We were talking and I explained that while In-Vitro isn't completely off the shelf as a possibility the idea of going to a sperm bank and picking out characteristics I'd like to see in my child like you'd pick out amenities in an apartment or something is just not terribly appealing to me.

Hmmm brown hair - check
Blue or green eyes - check
height x feet to x feet - check
IQ, medical history, athletic and/or musical ability and so on

I want to give birth to a child, not a souped up Maserati. So then he tells me (it's so simple why didn't I just think of it?!?) that all I had to do was find a guy, who's genes I liked and get him to donate some of his little fishes then I'd be good to go!

**side note - I just googled pictures of Maseratis. Well I wanted to make sure I was talking about a really sweet car.. and dang that's a nice ride!**

Well I tell him, my friend, sweetie, it's not exactly as easy as all that. To do it that way I'd have to one; meet someone new, which I'm not exactly skilled at doing, two; get to know him really well really quickly and three; try not to sound like a total nut job when I nonchalantly ask him to be my baby daddy.

Then there's the doctors visits, the guy depositing his little fishes in a cup, me getting my eggs (that I apparently don't always make) harvested and then tons of fun laying on a table while the doc shoots goo up my hooha with a turkey baster.

I'll get right on it!!

I've talked about adopting and more than likely that will end up being my method to motherhood, but I really really really really want the pregnancy and birth experience. It angers me that some defect in my body thinks it has the right to tell me I'm not allowed to have that.

But all hope is not yet gone. This friend.. whom I do truly love dearly (as a friend, no really just a friend) apparently realizes now important this is and says to me.. "I'll do it, I know how much you want to be a mom and it can be my gift to you". Talk about a present!! I've not decided 100% yet whether I'll take him up on his offer. There are many many factors to think about before making that kind of a decision.

But what I have decided to do is get proactive about making my chances of conceiving (health-wise) more likely. One way I can do that is by getting off the extra weight. I'll be meeting with a doctor to discuss treatment options for PCOS that may help with increasing my fertility and researching In-Vitro and other options of non-conventional conception and I'll share those findings and news as they occur. But for now my main focus is fighting the flab! Sounds sexy huh.

So that's my latest announcement. I'm getting for real serious about battling the bulge. I signed up on this site called I'll be logging my weight (groan), exercise and what I eat daily. It's going to suck and it's going to be a lot of work but in the end it will all be worth it and if I don't end up being able to become a mother biologically then at least I'll be in much better shape to keep up with the baby I'll adopt!

Wish me luck, send positive thoughts my way and most importantly if you pray.. please think of me.

Here's to SUCCESS!!

0 People who coughed on a furball: