Do it in Dockers

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about a day in the life of my pants, written in the voice of my pants. I got the idea from a commercial contest Dockers is having. Er was having, the last date to submit was May 29th. They’ll begin judging the entries June 1st.

Anyway, they asked the general public (that’s you!) to create their own Dockers commercial and send it in. The winning commercial will be shown during the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on June 13th.

I don’t have any way to record a video so I didn’t enter but I did go check out the submissions. Some of them are pretty lame and boring but some are definitely worth watching, and watching, and watching. One in particular cracks me up every time I watch it.

The one I liked the most is probably the worst one. Not because it’s a bad commercial, but rather because the things the guy is doing in his Dockers probably aren’t types of activities the company wants their clothing line to inspire.

It was still the funniest. You can check out all of the commercials submitted so far on NBC’s website.

Or you can watch them here. The one I like is the 37th or 38th one down. It's called "Do it in Dockers". It may take a while to scroll down to that one but I promise it's worth it.

Rah Rah Ree.. Kick 'em in the knee

Rah Rah Rass.. Kick 'em in the.....

Other Knee!!


I was going to blog about something serious today that was probably going to rile some feathers but while I was out at lunch I saw something that both amused and perplexed me at the same time so I thought I'd write about it instead.

As I was driving down the street a van passed me on the right with cartoon looking stickers all over it..

The back of the van said Promascot.com. Mascot School and training available!

I'm sorry Mascot Training?

I'll admit, I never really thought about who comes up with the costume you see the guy dancing around in the stands wearing at the baseball game. It makes sense that there is a company somewhere that designs and sells those get ups. But a company to train the person wearing it?

I mean seriously, how hard can it be to jump around and act like an idiot for 5 minutes every half hour or so? Maybe the training is to teach them how to be able to see out of the eye holes and walk without falling down or running into someone/thing.

When I was in high school we had a Pirate Mascot - we were the Pearl Pirates - and I don't ever remember any uhh training going on. They just asked for volunteers and had a try out. I guess the try out was to see who could be the most groovy in the costume. Our Pirate had a Huge head. I think we had a guy do a cartwheel or hand spring in it one year. I was impressed.

So what do you think? Is there some difficult task a mascot performs that I'm overlooking? From what I've seen being a mascot requires only a few skills.

- Ability to wear a super hot pile of fur or material for long periods of time and not pass out.


- Ability to dance like a fool (that doesn't necessarily translate to being able to dance well)


- Know that when the kid starts screaming it means you're scaring him. Back off.


- Ability to throw a few t-shirts or balls via slingshot from the ground to the stands.

Did I miss anything??

Finding Love Over 30

A more apt title might be - you're single because you suck and you're too old to find a date so get over it!

I was checking my Myspace this morning and there is always some kind of banner ad some where on the screen. I've noticed lately though that one seems to be showing up more often than others. I wonder if it (or God) is trying to tell me something?

Here's the ad


**Guess next time I'll actually save the image instead of linking to the website - this banner is unfortunately no longer available for viewing =(

Two things come to mind every time I see this banner.

1. Is finding a nice single guy or gal who not only says they are Christian but also acts like it that hard?
2. Why over 30? Is that the age when being single becomes a real problem? It there some unspoken rule that says "OK, you've had 29yrs to find Mr or Mrs Right and well darlin' you obviously have no clue what you're doing and in about 3 years you're going to be old so let us help you before it's too late"

Question 1 - Is is difficult to find real single Christians?In my personal opinion and limited experience the answer is yes. You'd think that just going to church would yield a wide range of attractive, intelligent single men and women who are interested and eager in meeting other attractive, intelligent single men and women. You'd think.

Maybe I'm going to the wrong church but from what I've seen single people between the ages of 27-36 (ish) are near to non existent. They are either married, divorced, going through a divorce, have kids (don't get me wrong I love kids, it's baby momma drama I can do without) or well not attractive.

I know, I know.. you're saying, "Now Mollie - if you're a good Christian then looks won't be that important to you. It's what inside that really matters". To that I say, if you ever really truly believe that looks don't matter then you're not a good Christian.. you're a saint. Now I'm not Catholic so I'm not very versed on the saints but last I heard there was no Saint Mollie.

I've addressed my opinion on looks in a previous post and I'll say it again here. Personality is great and I'll even go so far to say that having compatible personalities is a requirement for a relationship to work, but I'd be lying my tail off if I said that being physically attracted to someone is something I can do without. If you go to bed every night thinking Oh I love him so much! He's so sweet, and kind, and funny, and caring, and etc and so on but Damn I wish he was cute then you're destined for failure. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.

That's not to say that unattractive people don't find love. Everyone is beautiful to someone, I truly believe that. I just want to be with someone who is beautiful to ME.

So aside from the issues I just mentioned there are the "Christian" guys who just don't believe that you are really Not interested in heavy making out or having sex with them in the first few weeks (or hours!) of meeting. Call me old fashioned but my body is a temple. Yes there were a few months several years ago when I didn't think that way, but where I am at spiritually now, in this particular place in life, I believe that my body isn't mine to just give to anyone for a few hours (if I'm lucky) of feeling good. I am a child of God and as such I deserve and demand respect. If you can't be bothered to take the time to get to know who I am as a person then I'm sorry bud, you surely don't deserve to get to know what I'm like in bed. (Wild & Crazy grr)

Then there are the problems with denominations. Catholics believe and teach one thing, Pentecostal another, Methodist, Lutherans.. I could go on and on. Heck you even see different teachings within the same denomination. You've got Southern Baptist, Freewill Baptist, this kind of Lutheran, that kind of Lutheran.. it's ridiculous.

They all read the same Book yet they all have a different belief system. Most all agree that Christ was the Son of God, born of a virgin, crucified then rose again. After that.. psh it's a free for all. And they all believe that THEIR way is the ONLY way and all other ways are wrong.

Call me crazy (you wouldn't be the first) but to me, what I believe the true meaning of Christianity is, the way I try to live my life, is simply following the example of Christ. Living a life of love. Stopping to ask, before every thought, word or action "What would love do", "How would love handle this". Not about judging or condemning or separating anyone and everyone for their race, sex, sexual preference or religious affiliation. We're all just people. The same. Connected. Sadly enough, I've yet to find a church that teaches that message.

They'll teach love and forgiveness, then spout off that homosexuals are an abomination against God and we should "show them" the error of their ways. I'm sorry but who have you EVER met that's not once "erred" and who's to say what's wrong or right. We're all stumbling along trying to find our way. Instead of picking out things to dislike and judge each other for we should spend that energy on showing love and acceptance to everyone. Regardless.

OK I could go on for days about that particular subject so I'll move on to question 2.

Why over 30?

Why indeed. I may be a bit of a minority (at least my mom says so) in having only ever had one relationship. I don't believe in what I call serial dating. Just going out with a bunch or even a few people at the same time to see who you like best. To me it's well wrong. Maybe I got my view of love from those old Harlequin Romance novels I used to read as a teen, but I want the kind of love that is all encompassing. I want to be the most important thing (er person) in someones life and I don't think you can get that by going out with this guy on Tuesday, that guy on Friday then another guy the Wednesday after that. It takes too much energy and effort to really connect with one person much less 3 or more.

I mentioned before that a guy friend of mine told me that the way dating "works" is that you go out with anyone that asks you, even if you're not attracted to them. Get to know them so you can meet their friends. Then you meet their friends, friends and maybe one of them will be someone you can connect with.

Maybe it's a part of my OCD, but I see most things in black and white. There are very few areas for me that have shades of gray and this isnt' one of them. To me, and me is who we're talking about here, dating like that is dishonest. You're going out with someone you are completely unattracted to, knowing full well that they are interested in you, just so you can see if they have a hot friend. I don't know about you but I'd be pretty pissed if someone went out with me just to see if I had any cuter friends.

What does any of that have to do with being single over 30? I honestly have no idea. lol I lost track of where I was going with that. I told you this is a passionate topic for me.

Anyway over 30. Am I the only early 30 something that feels like people my age act anything but?

You have the 30 somethings who still act like they're in their early twenties. Hitting the club every weekend, going out getting trashed, picking up considerably younger umm companions for some random fun. No thanks.

Then you have the what I like to call "yuppie bunch". No offense to you if you fit in this (or any) category. It's just not my kind of life. These are the 30somethings who meet in upscale martini bars to get sloshed and pick up younger umm companions for random fun. The only difference is they wear nicer clothes, drive more expensive cars and act like they're living a real life version of Sex and the City. Again No thanks.

Then you have the 30 somethings who who act like they're 50. They live boring uneventful lives. The most exciting part of their day is pulling a frozen dinner out of the fridge. Oh wait that sounds a little like me. Well not exactly, I mean I cook and I do stuff. Like I go to the library and check out books to read and I go to the movies and the park. I love the park. Oh and I went to a baseball game last year!

So I'm not a party animal or a martini kind of gal. Still there has to be someone out there who likes the same things and lives a similar lifestyle to me that's not in their late 40's or upper 50's. I mean somewhere there is.. right?

I actually had to put a note on my yahoo personal profile saying that the specifications people choose on their profile are chosen for a reason and request that others who are also looking for love respect that everyone has their own preferences to please contact other members accordingly. I kept getting guys the same age as my parents sending me messages. I'm not interested in dating my parents. Or anyone close to their age. Yech!

I don't know, I'm sure most people would say I'm entirely too picky but I mean I'm looking for someone to spend the Rest of my life with. Shouldn't I have a few requirements?

Here's me - and the kind of guy I'd like to find in a nutshell.

Me
Age:32 doesn't smoke or drink (not even socially)

Enjoys: Movies, music, dancing, reading, nature, photography, social activism, sports, art, intelligent and controversial conversation, and about a million other things

Beliefs: God is a very important part of my life. Non-denominational Christian. Spiritual but NOT religious. Technically bisexual but I don't like labels. Yes Christian.. yes bisexual. There is such a thing and God IS OK with it.

Personality: sarcastic and/or dry humor, honest and direct, strong willed, opinionated, ridiculously loyal, loves deeply and completely, gives 110%, not into casual sex or encounters, not likely to kiss on first date.

Him
Age: 27 to 36ish doesn't smoke, doesn't drink or only drinks socially (No lushes)

Enjoys: All of the above, or at least some of it. Music and movies are a must. It helps if he can dance too!

Beliefs: Believing in God is pretty important. It's hard to live a life with someone who has opposite beliefs. Open minded and non-judgemental.

Personality: sarcastic, intelligent, zest for life, and that stuff I said about myself, but also kind, compassionate, caring, independent, stable oh and employed. Ya employed is a big one.

Am I crazy to think that I'm asking too much? I don't think so. I take commitment very seriously and if I'm going to give myself heart and soul to someone for the rest of my life, well then damn it I want it to be right.

If this yahoo thing doesn't work out I'd love to hear if you have any friends who meet all or at least some of the above criteria. Cmon.. I'm really a nice girl. Honest. :-)

You like me.. you really really like me!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages. It's official. I'm loved!!! My blog has had 2,500 hits since January 2008!! I started the blog back in 2006 and didn't have a hit counter then so the actual count may be a few off but I'll take it!!

Now I know in the realm of blogger superstardum (ala Dooce) 2,500 visits in 5 months is nothing. Actually when your site gets around ohh I don't know Four Million Hits a Month it's less than nothing but c'mon people I'm small potatos in the blogosphere so I'm tickled polka dotted with my lil ol' 500 hits a month!

It means someone out there somewhere actually reads the stuff I write. I can only hope that you're being entertained during the 36 seconds it takes you to realize you've come to the wrong page.

Speaking of wrong pages, since I've become slightly more versed in the ways of the blogosphere I've started checking out how people find their way to my page. Other than via blatant self promotion I mean. I have a Myspace page and I'm sure my Myspace friends groan each time I post a new bulletin. Did she blog again??

I'm not sure if you'd be surprised to know (I was!) that the main link that brings people to my page is a picture that was in a post I wrote a while back "They huffed and puffed" about a letter I taped to the door of my new noisy upstairs neighbors.

I had NO idea there were so many fetish lovers in the world, and I do mean world. This picture has brought people to my page from as near as Mobile, AL and as far as Melbourne, Victoria Australia!

You're dying to know aren't you. I know you are. Ok I'll show you. This my friends, this picture is the number 1 way people find their way to my site. I'm trying not to find this disturbing but here it is....

Drumroll please......

You can stop laughing now. It's not funny.

A ball gag. A BALL GAG People!!

That picture is responsible for the majority of people who read my site. Now don't get me wrong. I'm grateful. Many of those folks actually hung around for a few minutes and read a post or two. Some have even come back to see if I've posted anything that came any where close to being as funny as that particular story. I'm telling you, I couldn't have made that up if I tried.

If you haven't read it and feel like laughing until you wet yourself I'm pretty positive it will accomplish that goal. Just make sure you read the follow up post "And she said.."

All in all I am exuberantly happy with the slow gain of readers finding their way to my blog. I enjoy writing and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to know that you guys enjoy my drivel. I promise to try and make the next 5 months of posting as funny and gross and insulting as the last!

Yours truly

The CCL

Oh and if you find that funny go on over to Humor Blogs for some really side splitting stuff!

27 down, 4 to go

When I signed up for Nablopomo I thought I may have trouble thinking of things to post every day but surprisingly enough it's been fairly easy. Granted one or two posts were paid reviews but a post is a post and I try to those posts relevant by tying them into something that's happened in my life so it's not just a boring review.


Well today is the 27th. I've only got 4 more days to go and I've finally hit a block. I have absolutely no idea what to post about today lol so I guess I should warn you this may ramble a bit.


I would update you on the Yahoo Personals thing but there isn't much progress there. I've been messaging back and forth with a few guys but so far nothing super exciting to write about.


Speaking of messages, if I get one more e-mail from Publishers Clearing House it had better be to tell me when to expect a knock on my door from someone holding a BIG CHECK!


And speaking of checks, I finally received my stimulus check and it was not what the IRS website calculator said it would be. It said I should have received $600 and I got $300. Hey $300 is better than nothing but I am going to call to find out why I received the lesser amount. At least I was able to clear up the mess I made of my checking account when I mistakenly penciled in the stimulus deposit before I actually got it!


I posted a while back about joining the gym and getting motivated about losing the weight that I've gained thanks to Hypothyroidism and PCOS. Well I'd been doing really well until last week. The entire week was a total bust. I didn't go to the gym, I didn't watch what I ate and as a result I feel like total poo. It's amazing how much your body thrives exercise once you start doing it regularly. I was all ready to get up this morning and go. I had my gym bag packed and my workout clothes laid out on the chair and as luck would have it I woke up with a horribly sore throat and a killer head ache so I didn't go. I'm walking today after work though if it kills me!


On another note, if you've been reading my blog for a while now you know that I signed up for PayPerPost and SocialSpark a while back. Both are ecommerce sites that pay you for blogging. Well since March 12th I've completed 6 posts for PayPerPost and have made $60. I've completed 6 opportunities for SocialSpark and have made $35. That's almost $100. If I include the 2 posts I've done for Sponsored Reviews and Smorty I have made over $100 to do something I'd have done anyway and the more opportunities you accept, the higher your rating goes, the more opportunities become available to you. It is something that takes time and diligence but making money online is definitely possible.

Well it's about time for me to head out. I have a dr's appt today so I'll be leaving early. How great is that. A 3 day weekend then only a half a day when I do come back!

Hopefully something super interesting will happen before today is out so you'll have more intriguing reading material tomorrow!

Namasté

Cowabunga... Dude!

So about 15 minutes after we (me, my cousin & her little girl) got to Gulf Shores a storm moved in. After having driven well over an hour to get there we decided to hang around and see if it would pass. Thankfully it did and we enjoyed a great rest of the day frolicking (read-being beaten to death) in the waves and soaking up the sun.

I'd never been to Gulf Shores before, having only had the MS Gulf Coast to compare to and let me tell you it was fantastic. Clean white beaches, clear blue-green water and waves. Lots of big beautiful frothy waves. I had more fun that I've had in ages trying to dodge getting pummeled by the waves as they crashed over my head.

It seemed that many others had the same idea. You could look up and down the beach and see people facing away from shore waiting for the next wave to come in, then you'd see them jump as the wave came barreling toward them. Most of the time you could just float through it and it was a blast, but if the wave crested just before or as it reached where you were standing you could fully expect to get a full salt water facial.

My cousin and I were like little kids jumping up and down in the surf. We also were super excited to see some surfers. Granted the waves weren't like anything you'd see in Hawaii but there were quite a few buff bronzed boys brandishing surf boards. Oy!

Here are a few pictures of the guys catching (and losing) some waves. You can click on the pics to enlarge them.









We felt like we were in our very own version Bay Watch, except the guy who was on duty to save us was no David Hasselhoff. Although I'm not sure that's such a bad thing!

Fun in the Sun

Spent the day on the beach at Gulf Shores today. The weather was beautiful, the water was clear and the bodies were... oh my.

It's 10:15 and I've just gotten home. I'm completely pooped so I just popped on to say a few words so I didn't miss a post today!

More details and pictures to come tomorrow.

Will you be my, would you be my...

Won't you be my neighor?!

It IS a b-e-a-U-tiful day in the neighborhood and as soon as I finish this post I am headed to MS for the rest of the Memorial Day Weekend.

Fun in the sun with the fam and all that.

But Nablopomo waits for no holiday so I'm leaving you with my Lolcats entry for Icanhascheezburger.

My kitty Blanco has this thing about sitting on the edge of the tub between the curtain and liner when I shower. Maybe he thinks I'm going to forget to wash behind my ears or something..

In Memory and Honor of...

Every man and woman who willingly and fearlessly gave their lives in the the line of duty so that we might know freedom.

In light of the Memorial Day Holiday weekend I thought I'd post a bit of background on the origins of Memorial Day. The following information is directly from USMemorialDay.org

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those who have died in our nation's service. There are many stories as to its actual beginnings, with over two dozen cities and towns laying claim to being the birthplace of Memorial Day. There is also evidence that organized women's groups in the South were decorating graves before the end of the Civil War: a hymn published in 1867, "Kneel Where Our Loves are Sleeping" by Nella L. Sweet carried the dedication "To The Ladies of the South who are Decorating the Graves of the Confederate Dead" (Source: Duke University's Historic American Sheet Music, 1850-1920). While Waterloo N.Y. was officially declared the birthplace of Memorial Day by President Lyndon Johnson in May 1966, it's difficult to prove conclusively the origins of the day.

It is more likely that it had many separate beginnings; each of those towns and every planned or spontaneous gathering of people to honor the war dead in the 1860's tapped into the general human need to honor our dead, each contributed honorably to the growing movement that culminated in Gen Logan giving his official proclamation in 1868. It is not important who was the very first, what is important is that Memorial Day was established. Memorial Day is not about division. It is about reconciliation; it is about coming together to honor those who gave their all.

General John A. Logan
Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in his General Order No. 11, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war). It is now celebrated in almost every State on the last Monday in May (passed by Congress with the National Holiday Act of 1971 (P.L. 90 - 363) to ensure a three day weekend for Federal holidays), though several southern states have an additional separate day for honoring the Confederate war dead: January 19 in Texas, April 26 in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi; May 10 in South Carolina; and June 3 (Jefferson Davis' birthday) in Louisiana and Tennessee.




In 1915, inspired by the poem "In Flanders Fields," Moina Michael replied with her own poem:

We cherish too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valor led,
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies.

She then conceived of an idea to wear red poppies on Memorial day in honor of those who died serving the nation during war. She was the first to wear one, and sold poppies to her friends and co-workers with the money going to benefit servicemen in need. Later a Madam Guerin from France was visiting the United States and learned of this new custom started by Ms.Michael and when she returned to France, made artificial red poppies to raise money for war orphaned children and widowed women. This tradition spread to other countries.

In 1921, the Franco-American Children's League sold poppies nationally to benefit war orphans of France and Belgium. The League disbanded a year later and Madam Guerin approached the VFW for help. Shortly before Memorial Day in 1922 the VFW became the first veterans' organization to nationally sell poppies. Two years later their

"Buddy" Poppy program was selling artificial poppies made by disabled veterans. In 1948 the US Post Office honored Ms Michael for her role in founding the National Poppy movement by issuing a red 3 cent postage stamp with her likeness on it.

Traditional observance of Memorial day has diminished over the years. Many Americans nowadays have forgotten the meaning and traditions of Memorial Day. At many cemeteries, the graves of the fallen are increasingly ignored, neglected. Most people no longer remember the proper flag etiquette for the day. While there are towns and cities that still hold Memorial Day parades, many have not held a parade in decades. Some people think the day is for honoring any and all dead, and not just those fallen in service to our country.

There are a few notable exceptions. Since the late 50's on the Thursday before Memorial Day, the 1,200 soldiers of the 3d U.S. Infantry place small American flags at each of the more than 260,000 gravestones at Arlington National Cemetery. They then patrol 24 hours a day during the weekend to ensure that each flag remains standing. In 1951, the Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts of St. Louis began placing flags on the 150,000 graves at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery as an annual Good Turn, a practice that continues to this day.

More recently, beginning in 1998, on the Saturday before the observed day for Memorial Day, the Boys Scouts and Girl Scouts place a candle at each of approximately 15,300 grave sites of soldiers buried at Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania National Military Park on Marye's Heights (the Luminaria Program). And in 2004, Washington D.C. held its first Memorial Day parade in over 60 years.

To help re-educate and remind Americans of the true meaning of Memorial Day, the "National Moment of Remembrance" resolution was passed on Dec 2000 which asks that at 3 p.m. local time, for all Americans "To voluntarily and informally observe in their own way a Moment of remembrance and respect, pausing from whatever they are doing for a moment of silence or listening to 'Taps."

The Moment of Remembrance is a step in the right direction to returning the meaning back to the day. What is needed is a full return to the original day of observance. Set aside one day out of the year for the nation to get together to remember, reflect and honor those who have given their all in service to their country.

But what may be needed to return the solemn, and even sacred, spirit back to Memorial Day is for a return to its traditional day of observance. Many feel that when Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act of 1971, it made it all the easier for people to be distracted from the spirit and meaning of the day. As the VFW stated in its 2002 Memorial Day address: "Changing the date merely to create three-day weekends has undermined the very meaning of the day. No doubt, this has contributed greatly to the general public's nonchalant observance of Memorial Day."

On January 19, 1999 Senator Inouye introduced bill S 189 to the Senate

which proposes to restore the traditional day of observance of Memorial Day back to May 30th instead of "the last Monday in May". On April 19, 1999 Representative Gibbons introduced the bill to the House (H.R. 1474). The bills were referred the Committee on the Judiciary and the Committee on Government Reform. To date, there has been no further developments on the bill.

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On a serious note..

I was sitting at my desk this morning wondering what I would write about today. I've been a bit under the weather the last few days and my muse seems to be on vacation.

As I'm half heartedly paying attention to my work, wishing I were home in my comfy bed with the covers pulled over my head my sister texts me and the words she sent make me ashamed that I feel that I have any reason to be anything other than happy and thankful I woke up with breath in my body this morning.

I debated writing about this and almost decided not to out of respect for the privacy of the family but I decided that it's something that needs to be talked about.

Before I begin I'd like to ask you to keep those mentioned below in your prayers. There will be no names written, but God knows who they are so if you would please, just ask Him to be with them and allow them to feel He is by their side.

One of my cousins was found this morning by the cleaning crew in a hotel. She had tried to commit suicide by slitting her throat. Praise God she is alive and in stable condition. She is the mother of 4 little boys and has been suffering from postpartum depression apparently since the birth of her youngest. She was on her 3rd anti-depressant and had yet to find one that helped her.

As long as I can remember she has always been a very serious but happy person. As a young child (I believe she's now in her late 20's) she was very smart and conscientious of others, always kind and thoughtful. Never in a million years someone you would imagine trying to take their own life.

I can only imagine the pain and confusion her husband, parents, siblings and other close family must be going through trying to wonder how she got to such a dark place. I'm not sure how old her children are. I know two were at school and the two youngest she'd dropped off with a neighbor, but if any of them are old enough to understand and be told what happened how must they feel? How can they wrap their tiny innocent minds around the idea that their mommy wanted to leave them. Will they ever be able to know that it was not something they did nor was it because they were unloved.

Brooke Shields wrote a book after suffering severe postpartum depression called Down Came the Rain. She talks about how she had moments driving down the street with her child in the back and just wanted to drive her car straight into a brick wall, knowing that it would kill both her and her child.

It makes me wonder. Did my cousin think of hurting her children and have enough control to remove herself from them? Did she think that maybe they'd just be better off without her? Did she feel that there was really no help for her and the only option she had was to leave this world and everyone she loved behind?

As someone who's contemplated and survived more than one failed suicide attempt I can relate to some of those feelings. I know how it is to feel that everything in your life is beyond your control. I know how it is to feel that no one would miss you if you were gone and I know how deep that hurt is. What I can't imagine is feeling those things so badly that leaving my children behind is not just an option but the only option. I would give anything to be able to be a mother for just a moment so I can't imagine anything being so overwhelming that I'd even think about giving that gift up.

The fact that she was on her 3rd anti-depressant and had obviously found no help makes me angry. It makes me angry that her physicians either didn't know enough or care enough to make sure something worked to help her. It also makes me wonder if there is really enough information available about this disease, if there has been enough research done, enough attention brought to the subject, enough support being raised so that finding out exactly what causes it and finding a better way not only to treat, but prevent it is in the foreseeable future.

I mean you know something needs to be done with commercials for depression medication state that the drug may cause thoughts of suicide. Because being depressed alone isn't enough. No we need to take something that may make it worse. WTF.

I apologize if I seem to be making light of this. I assure you I'm not. I know sarcasm is not appropriate but sometimes it seems to be the only way to mentally process things that just seem incomprehensible. I'm not very close to my cousin and haven't seen her in several years, but I guess it just hits home a bit harder when it's someone you know and as becoming a mother is something that I am very hopeful is in my near future it's just damn scary.

I ask again that you please keep my cousin and her family in your prayers. God doesn't need to hear their names, He knows who they are.

Thank you.

And your American Idol is...

George Michael!!

Oh wait, he's British


And old(ish)


And so NOT the steamy hot sexpot he used to be.

Then..... le pant!

And Now... ack!

Oh Georgie.. what happened to you. It may date me, but how I miss the days you wore tight white shorts and hair with a wave that many a surfer wanted to ride.... ahem

No seriously, the battle of the Davids has come to its end. David Cook - rocker with a classically trained background vs David Archuleta - boy wonder who overcame vocal paralysis.

I personally think Archuleta would have been the better Idol. He fits the American Idol ideal better. Sweet, wholesome, cute, with the voice of an angel.

I think David Cook would have been better off not winning, then he could have followed the path of Daughtry and started off doing his own thing. Now he'll be stuck singing pop songs for a year until his gig representing Idol is up.

Both are incredibly talented though and I have to agree with Simon in saying that this year which ever won deserved it.

I just wonder if next years show will be able to round up the talent this season had.

If they'd only raise the age limit a few years so I could try out. I'm no Kelly Clarkson but I can carry a pretty decent tune lol

A little piece of history

A while back I started doing some research into my ancestry and attempted some very amateurish genealogy. I know that my gene pool has American Indian (Choctaw & Sioux), French, and I recently discovered Scottish origins. There may also possibly be a touch of German.

The part that I’ve always been most interested in is the Native American part. I’ve often felt that I was born in the wrong era, having a deeper love of nature and creation than technology and material things. Give me a cabin in the wilderness with a wall sized shelf full of books, a stream and a horse and I’d be in heaven. Oh and a radio. I love the music of nature but I have to have some beats to dance to.

Recently I’ve begun to do some more research into the Indian part of my heritage and have found that there just isn’t a very good source of information out there. There are a few sites here and there, but other than general history (which in my opinion can at times be a bit distorted by the writer) it’s hard to find much on historic Native American life.

The entire culture just fascinates me. The artifacts, the beliefs, the lifestyle were all so pure and at one with nature. So I’ve decided to start exploring museums that offer insightand exhibitions featuring Native American tribes.



Stark Museum of Art in Orange, Texas is one such museum. They house one of the most extensive collections of 19th and 20th century American Western Art and artifacts in the nation. In addition to American Indian art by artists such as Maria and Julian Martinez, and artifacts of the Navajo and Sioux tribes they have a Western Art collection, a Decorative Arts collection and a collection of Rare Books & Manuscripts.

As a lover of most everything artistic I imagine I’d have a hard time deciding what collection to explore first! To be honest I’d probably visit the Research Library first! The Rare Book and Archives section of the Library houses more than 150 individual letters by the naturalist John J. Audubon to colleagues, friends and family; a journal kept by Audubon during one of his expeditions and a journal of the artist Paul Kane.

In times where kids are more interested in video games than history, museums offer a fun and interesting source of education. In 1961 The Nelda C. and H.J. Lutcher Stark Foundation was established as a non-profit corporation by H.J. Lutcher Stark and his wife, Nelda C. Stark, to be operated exclusively for charitable and educational purposes.

For more information about the Stark Museum of Art visit their website at http://www.starkmuseum.org/

She comes with a blog

So I've been thinking. I posted the other day that I'd signed up for Yahoo Personals. Yes I know I'm crazy. But think of all the fun you'll have reading my adventures in dating. Of course that's saying I get asked out on a date. Hey, stranger things have happened OK!

What I've been thinking about is the combination of dating and blogging. I've not yet been on a date (it's only been like a week, cut me some slack!) but I do have tentative plans to meet someone weekend after next for coffee. Why so far out? He lives in MS I live in AL. I usually only go to MS every other weekend. Yes he could come here, blah blah I didn't ask and he didn't offer. Signing up on the site is about as pro-active as I get, I'm not pushing it.

Anyway, blogging and dating. I've read a few blogs that post about their dating mishaps adventures and sometimes they exploit share some basic info about the people they go out with. There are a few hilarious ones on my blogroll.

What I'm wondering is; Do the bloggers tell their dates that they have a blog? Do they ask them if they mind being talked about on a venue that hundreds or possibly thousands of people mayread? Or do they warn them, oh hey, ya we're going out and umm well don't be surprised if like I tell 3,571 people what I thought about your outfit, or the spinach in your teeth, or that you have a really nice ah.. you get the point.

I imagine some people wouldn't mind having their lives broadcast around the world. Ok maybe only certifiable lunatics like you know us people that tell our entire life stories on the internet but hey, we're a growing breed! Then again I'm sure most would rather not have their personal details shared with anonymous masses via the web.

So should I tell the guys I guy out with on the first date I blog? Or should I just put a disclosure statement in my profile?

I thought something like this might go over well:

I'm Mollie,,, etc so on. blah blah I like..this and that.. the usual self exploiting lingo here. Then the disclosure

Oh! By the way. I have a blog. It's not like super super popular but quite a few people read it (only a few hundred a month) and uh well see it's like this. I talk about pretty much anything on my blog and I will most likely talk about you. It's not that I don't respect your privacy and your right to remain anonymous, it's just that well I'm a blogger and that's what we do. I can promise however not to post a picture of you, or your full name without your permission and I am warning you now so you can't say you didn't know. Right?

Anyway hope to hear from you soon!

What do you think? I think it will go over smashingly well.

Do the Dew

I'm headed out of the office early today for a doctor's appointment so I'm going to cheat and leave you guys with a funny 'article' a friend posted on Myspace.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.


Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Never let go

I went to a new church this morning. The praise & worship was good, the pastor was funny and I really enjoyed myself. I also balled my eyes out. Church seems to have that effect on me.

Something about being there, hearing the pastor say things that you've thought in the deepest part of your mind seems to loose an emotional tidal wave in me.

Today's post is going to be short and sweet. I've got a lot on my mind and don't really feel like typing, I know odd for me, but I did want to share the basics of today's Message.

"Fight for the Promise, wait for the Promise and don't give up too soon"

Basically what that is saying is that if God has ever promised you something, in a prayer, or a Word or a prophesy and you're still waiting for it. Keep waiting. Don't give up. There are a few really big things God promised me many years ago that I'm still waiting on and I've come more than close to giving up more than a few times.

One of the examples the pastor used to explain how important not giving up and just waiting on God is was the story of Joshua and the walls of Jericho. God told Joshua to march around the city for 7 days, then on the 7th day march around 7 times. What if Joshua had gotten to the 6th day and was like "Man this is just bogus, I've been walking around this dang wall for almost a week and nothing has happened. I give up. I'm going home."

What would have happened is he would have missed the victory. Too many times we want fast food promises and results from God. We've become such a drive through nation that we want everything quick and easy and sometimes the gifts and blessings God has for us just aren't drive through available.

Another thing the pastor said today was that when it comes to Promises from God sometimes you have to "Pray for it like it's up to God, but work for it like it's up to you", which I thought was pretty insightful. Too often we want to just say a little prayer asking God for whatever it is we want, then we just go about our business like normal, not changing anything in our lives fully expecting God to just drop our request in our lap because we asked.

If we wanted something that we knew the only way to get was to work for it, then you know good and well you'd be picking up extra shifts for extra money, or working out a little more to fit into that dress, or whatever you knew you needed to do to get what you wanted. Why should getting things we want from God be any different? I don't think it should be. Sometimes we have to toil and work to get to where WE need to be before God can give us what He has for us.

There are things in my life that I long for more than air.. God has promised me these things and I'm still waiting. Evidently I'm not where I need to be in order for Him to bring those promises to fruition. So I wait. Yes it sucks, it hurts, it's hard and sometimes it just breaks my heart in two but I stand on what He's promised me and I wait. Because the second that I let go of hope and belief in the things He's promised me is the second I let go of my will and reason for living.

Anyway, I've already passed the short part that I mentioned in the beginning but the message is still pretty sweet. At least I think so.

Oh and I'm also leaving you with another (less angry looking) picture of my new hair slaughter. I know it will take a few weeks to grow on me, heck to grow period, but it's hair and it will grow.

Just stuff some socks in my pants and call me Steve

The day started out beautifully. It was a gorgeous sunny day. I loaded my clothes basket in the car and headed to the laundry. I have a washer/dryer at my apartment complex but when it's nice out I like to go to the laundry so I can walk around in the shopping center while my clothes are washing & drying. I was just out and about enjoying a beautiful day. The enjoying ended about 5pm.

I was looking at some old pictures of me last night and saw one where I had this really cute shorter haircut. I've been letting my hair grow out after a disastrous hair cut last year. It had finally gotten past my shoulders and was at a length where I felt it was safe to brave another attempt at getting it cut into some kind of a style so that it was still growing out but actually looked half decent.

I have decided that I am NEVER getting my hair cut again. I don't care if I have 12 inch long split ends. No one is coming near my head with a pair of scissors. EVER

Here is me before. This was taken last week.

Here is the photo I showed to the stylist. Granted it's a bit shorter but still long in the front and very cute. It's a cut that would do well growing out. Plus I could totally rock this look.

This is what I ended up with. Angry would be a mild term to describe how I'm feeling about this.

Don't let the smile fool you. It's fake. I also don't have on any make-up which I'm sure doesn't help.

I specifically told her, I want the front to be absolutely no shorter than chin length. I can't stand my hair in my face, I HAVE to be able to tuck it behind my ears. It's no where freaking near that long!!

Argh. Ok I'm getting angry.. my hair keeps falling in my eyes as I'm typing and I keep trying to shove it behind my ears only to have it fall back in my eyes because it's TOO F'ING SHORT!

I'm going to end this now and go to bed. Hopefully I'll wake up with the style I asked for and find that this "oh great I look like a DUDE!" hair cut was all bad dream.


Until then I'll just slap a barrette in it. Aren't I just cute now. Grr.

Good Night.

Rain rain go away...

Come again... like next week or something.

Today is kind of a blah day. Not for any particular reason other than the weather outside is horrid. Bleak gray skies, cold damp air and rain, lots and lots of rain. So just blah.

Yesterday was a big day for me. I posted a blog that was shorter than hmm 15 paragraphs lol. What can I say I have a thing for words. I can't guarantee you'll be so lucky today.

So.. This past Saturday night I watched PS I Love You then spent all day Sunday in a funk. Wednesday night my cousin and I watched Juno and the funk returned. I don't know what it is about single chics and sappy movies but I'm over it.

I know the movie is about high school kids, but at the end.. they looked so in love I was all but biting a hole in my cheek to keep the tears in. My cousin (who shall from here on out be referred to as K) wasn't so lucky. I look over and she's got tears streaming down her cheeks, sucking up snot like a busted Kirby. Hot huh?

After the movie we get to talking about dating and I mentioned how much I hated being single. It's been 4 years since I've been in a relationship. Granted it's mostly my own fault, what can I say I'm antisocial, but that doesn't make being lonely suck any less.

So K says to me, "Well I asked you to go to the bar with me a couple of weeks ago and you didn't want to, you can't say you're tired of being single if you don't try to meet people."

Ok one, it was on a week night and I get up at 6am. I try to be in bed by 10pm at the latest. That doesn't always happen but I try. Going out during the week after I've been at work all day and am tired and just want to relax will pretty much guarantee I'm not in the most sociable mood possible. Two, I don't drink or smoke - both of which are abundant in a bar. I'd rather not date someone who drank regularly and will not date someone who smokes at all. That kind of rules out about oh I don't know probably 95% of the guys I'd meet in a bar atmosphere so what's the point.

However, I will concede that she has a point. I have basically secluded myself since separating from my ex-fiance in 2004. My 3yr relationship with him was the first (and thanks to previously mentioned seclusion only) relationship I've ever had. There was a lot of physical, mental and emotional damage done during those 3 years and to be honest it's only recently that I've begun to feel that I've recovered enough to even think about opening myself up to some one again.

"What about online dating sites?" she asks. It wasn't on a dating site, but I did meet my ex-fiance online... (I'm some what embarrassed to say) in a chat room. The thing with online dating sites is you have to pay to use them. The idea of paying to find a date just sounds horribly desperate to me. I may be lonely, but desperate I'm not. When I first became single a lady I worked with in Michigan paid for a 3 month stint on eHarmony for me as a birthday present. Yes it was a slightly expensive present, but she was a really sweet woman and it was her idea. She said "Pick the site and I'll pay for it". So I did.

I'm a Christian and consider myself a bit of an old fashioned gal when it comes to morals, no kissing on the first date for me, and thought eHarmony might present the best options. Psh and double Psh. I'm not naive or vain. I know I'm a big girl and I know the way things work. Most good looking fit guys like good looking fit girls. I do OK on the good looking part I suppose but as for fit.. well I'm healthy in more ways than one.


Look, I'm going to be really blunt and honest here. Physical attraction is important to me. If I don't look at a guy or girl and think, dang they're hot, or handsome or sexy or something then I'm not going to waste my time or theirs. I was in love with someone for 3 years that I wasn't physically attracted to and every time I looked at him I wished I was. It taught me that as much as I'd like to believe it was - "who they are inside" isn't really all that matters.

The thing about eHarmony is that they match you up based on a personality profile they determine by having you answer 23423 questions about yourself. I didn't find one single person they matched me with attractive. A guy friend of mine told me once "Mollie, you have to go out with people you're not attracted to so you can meet their friends and their friends friends, and maybe one of them will be someone you like. That's how the whole dating thing works". Well that may be how the whole "dating thing" works, but it's not how I work. To me, that's using someone, going out with them with an ulterior motive. They're into you and want to get to know you and you're hoping they have a hot friend. Not cool.

But Mollie, you say.. who says you have to be "into" them, maybe you'll just end up being really good friends. This is going to sound pretty cold, but I don't need or really want new friends enough to go out on a bunch of bogus dates just to fine one. Plus you have the whole stigma of he liked me but I didn't like him awkwardness to deal with. It's just not worth it.

So after 3 months and no prospects in sight I sort of said screw it.

A few months ago I got back in touch with an old guy friend I hadn't talked to since 2000. This seems to be my year for catching up with old friends. Anyway he was my uhh first and we've gotten pretty close again and talk on the phone often. Laughing and flirting with him reminded me how much fun it is to feel attractive, to feel like someone is interested in you. Why don't I go out with him you ask? Well that's a long complicated story that I'd really rather not share. The point is I think I'm ready to get out there. Where ever the heck "out there" is.

So I did it, I sucked it up (my pride) and posted a profile on yahoo personals.. and I paid for one month. I know I said paying to find a date sounded desperate to me but I've decided to revamp my perspective. I prefer to think of it as an alternate way for less than socially efficient people to meet other not so socially adept people. I don't do the in person small talk thing well, but I can type up a storm. You wouldn't have imagined you say? I know. I'm just full of surprises.

I've been a paying member for a whole day now and the last I checked 20 guys had viewed my profile. 20 guys who are so far either not attractive (to me at least) or old enough to have went to school with my parents.

Another big problem I have with online dating (or dating in general) is age, or rather the age of guys who seem to be interested in me. I'm 32, my dad is 46, my mom is 50. Yes you did the math right, he's my step-dad, but he's been my dad since I was 4. If you could have possibly been in high school at the same time as either of my parents that completely rules you out. I don't care who you are or what you say, age is NOT just a number. I'd sooner convert to Catholicism and join a convent than date a guy who has more things in common with my dad than with me. I don't know what the deal is but I always attract older guys. I may be a bit on the anal-retentive side but I'm young at heart. I am. Really. I mean it. You can stop laughing now. Thanks.

Maybe I'm too picky (comments from the peanut gallery not needed). Maybe I'm too mean (you can comment on that one, I know I can be a bish). Maybe I had my one chance at true love with my ex-fiance and passed it up. Maybe I should have stuck around a little longer and eventually he'd have figured out how to be faithful and not abusive. Who knows.

So I've taken a step, I've gotten proactive, I've, omg I've joined an online dating site am I Crazy?!? Probably, but what the hell you only live once right? And it's only for a month. I've already set up a reminder in my phone calendar to beep at me in time to cancel before the next payment goes through. I'd rather use the money to treat myself to dinner and a movie than pay more than one month to try and find a date. Although... as I was typing that this little voice in my head says.."Mollie.. there is no price too high for true love".

Excuse me while I go silence that voice. You may want to turn your head, it could get messy.

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Is the fear of long words.

Seriously?

I mean... Seriously?!?

Isn't that just cruel.

Girls Gone Wild

Yes this is a post about me. I can be wild.. sort of.

So maybe my idea of "wild" is a little different than yours.. so.


Every once in a while I'll go through the pictures on my MySpace deleting old ones and adding new. I was looking through photos of a company Christmas trip I went on back in December and realized that I never wrote about it. I posted a photo slideshow with promises to follow up but never did. My apologies. Allow me to rectify that error now.

So I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not but I work for a super fantastic company. Every year they pay for all of their employees (we have ten offices throughout Alabama, Louisiana, Texas and Oklahoma) to go to a company Christmas Party and on a 3-4 day vacation. The vacation this year was 4 days in Cancun. All expense paid luxury resort. Allow me to repeat myself. All Expense Paid Luxury Resort. They cover travel, hotel, meals, alcohol, the works. Alcohol isn’t much of a big deal to me, I don’t drink, but for the rest of the guys and gals in the company that’s a big WOOHOOOO!!

I’ve only been with this company since last September and you have to have been with them for a year to go on the vacations so I missed out this year, but next year.. oh yea I’m there!

Usually the company Christmas trip is in Texas but this past year they decided to have it in New Orleans. We spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday at Harrah’s Hotel & Casino (again with the all expense paid – meals too!). I’m not sure you’d really call it a vacation since it was work related, but it was vacation enough for me. The first one I’ve ever been on too! I know, how sad is that.

I went to Boston year before last for another work related thing (diff company) but I was only there for 2 days and 8 hours of those were spent in a conference. I did get to walk around in the evening though and it’s beautiful! There are so many things to do in Boston. I highly recommend taking the T, just for fun. Oh and walking around Boston Common.

But back to New Orleans.


Maybe girls gone wild is stretching it a bit but we did have a lot of fun. Oh! You're allowed to bring a spouse or if you don't have one (like me) a guest on the trips. So since my mom's birthday was in December I brought her. That's the we.

I hadn't been to New Orleans since I was a kid visiting my grandmother. Other than what you see on TV I wasn't sure what to expect. Especially since it was post Katrina.

They had sightseeing tours but my mom and I wanted to walk around and walk we did. We got there on Friday night around 9:30 I think and we got back to the hotel around 1am. We walked and walked and walked, all through the French Quarter and down Bourbon Street. My Oh My at the things you'll see on Bourbon. It would make a nun blush!

I think the coolest thing, no I know, the coolest thing we saw was Brad Pitt's Make It Right Project in the Lower 9th. It was incredible, not only to see an entire neighborhood completely leveled but to see all of the pink tents that represented the new homes that were going to be built. We stopped and talked to a sweet lady who's house had lifted off it's foundation and floated across the street. She invited us in and showed off all her new things. She was so proud. Thankfully, she had just bought flood insurance a few months earlier, in spite of some genius insurance agent telling her she wasn't in a flood zone. I could see the levees from her yard. Not in a flood zone my rear.

I really wanted to go to the Audubon Zoo, but my mom wanted to visit the Aquarium of the Americas and we didn't have time for both so we did that instead. Trusted Tours and Attractions offers special deals and discounts on tours in New Orleans (they also can show you cool Things to do in Atlanta) and I'd really like to take one when I go again, and I definitely plan on going again! I want to go on one of the voodoo tours at night. Whoooo Spooky! And right now, Trustedtours.com is having a special promotion where if you sign up for their newsletter you can win a $150 itunes gift card!

One more interesting tidbit then I'm signing off. Did you know the Mardi Gras actually originated in Mobile, AL, and not New Orleans? I live in Mobile and had no idea until recently. Learn something new every day!

What a pretty face..

This is a saying I've heard countless times throughout my life. What those kind people who say this don't realize is that what they are saying is the pretty much the same as when cocky partially brain dead guys (I'll give them some credit) get together and scope out chics. Usually there is a rating system.

You've got

Totally smokin or as an old friend puts it "mad bangin"- hot face, hot body.

Buttaface - hot body, face... well there's always the dark.. and doggy style.

and finally Buttabody,

Man that girl has a pretty face...

But... her... body...

I know they mean well, and are genuine when they say it, but all it does to the person hearing it is point out how un-pretty the rest of their body is.

I've always been "thick". I'm guessing that I picked up those particular genes from my birth father's side of the family. His mom & aunts are all healthy women. Tall, stout, strong. Not necessarily big, but definitely not dainty or petite.

My mom is 5'6 and probably wears an 6-8 in pants, my sister is 5'3 and well her waist is about the size of my thigh, my brother 5'11, 165lbs soaking wet.

Here are the four of us (mom, me, sister & brother) at my sister's wedding.

Which of these things is not like the other??

When I was younger I was very athletic so even though I was larger than most girls my age I was very fit. Firm. Solid. No jiggly. I played softball on a city league, volleyball in college & basketball on a church team (that only lasted one season - I'm short).

But alas, with age things change. Body parts lose elasticity, things start heading south and really important organs stop functioning properly. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism about 3 years ago. I had put on quite a bit of weight in a very short period of time and hadn't change anything in my eating or exercise habits to explain it. I joined Bally's & started working out 5 days a week 1-2 hours a day and met with a personal trainer once a week who completely kicked my butt. 6 weeks later, no weight loss. Not one single pound. A friend suggested I get my thyroid checked out and viola' I had my answer.

I've put off talking about losing weight much on this blog for a few reasons. One, it's personal. Two, well duh, I don't want anyone knowing what I weigh. Plus I've read a few weight loss blogs and that seems to be all the writers post about. Granted they could very well be just weight loss blogs, but that's not what I want this one to be. So I've finally decided to bite the bullet and create one just for journalling my weight loss adventures and mishaps. I've put a link over to the left for your clicking enjoyment (and my own personal humiliation)

Why now? Well I've recently learned that in addition to having hypothyroidism, which causes me to gain weight very very easily and makes losing it ten times more difficult, I also have PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (which also causes weight gain, yay me!). I won't bore you with the details of what PCOS is but if you want you can read about it here. One fact I will share with you though about PCOS is, and in regards to my longing to become a mother, the most important. It causes infertility, which means having PCOS will make it extremely difficult if not impossible to conceive.

So as a good friend pointed out the other day on the phone my biological clock is ticking and if I want any chance at having a child biologically I'd better get on it. Thanks friend. (rolling eyes here) No really, he is a good friend and I love him dearly. Up until now there's been one major problem with that happening, ok 2 major problems, but we're talking aside from the PCOS. I don't have a man. I'm not, nor have I been in a relationship with a person of the male (or female - but that's not relevant here) gender for almost 5 years. It's been a while but last I heard there had to be a guy involved in procreation in some way, shape or form.

We were talking and I explained that while In-Vitro isn't completely off the shelf as a possibility the idea of going to a sperm bank and picking out characteristics I'd like to see in my child like you'd pick out amenities in an apartment or something is just not terribly appealing to me.

Hmmm brown hair - check
Blue or green eyes - check
height x feet to x feet - check
IQ, medical history, athletic and/or musical ability and so on

I want to give birth to a child, not a souped up Maserati. So then he tells me (it's so simple why didn't I just think of it?!?) that all I had to do was find a guy, who's genes I liked and get him to donate some of his little fishes then I'd be good to go!

**side note - I just googled pictures of Maseratis. Well I wanted to make sure I was talking about a really sweet car.. and dang that's a nice ride!**

Well I tell him, my friend, sweetie, it's not exactly as easy as all that. To do it that way I'd have to one; meet someone new, which I'm not exactly skilled at doing, two; get to know him really well really quickly and three; try not to sound like a total nut job when I nonchalantly ask him to be my baby daddy.

Then there's the doctors visits, the guy depositing his little fishes in a cup, me getting my eggs (that I apparently don't always make) harvested and then tons of fun laying on a table while the doc shoots goo up my hooha with a turkey baster.

I'll get right on it!!

I've talked about adopting and more than likely that will end up being my method to motherhood, but I really really really really want the pregnancy and birth experience. It angers me that some defect in my body thinks it has the right to tell me I'm not allowed to have that.

But all hope is not yet gone. This friend.. whom I do truly love dearly (as a friend, no really just a friend) apparently realizes now important this is and says to me.. "I'll do it, I know how much you want to be a mom and it can be my gift to you". Talk about a present!! I've not decided 100% yet whether I'll take him up on his offer. There are many many factors to think about before making that kind of a decision.

But what I have decided to do is get proactive about making my chances of conceiving (health-wise) more likely. One way I can do that is by getting off the extra weight. I'll be meeting with a doctor to discuss treatment options for PCOS that may help with increasing my fertility and researching In-Vitro and other options of non-conventional conception and I'll share those findings and news as they occur. But for now my main focus is fighting the flab! Sounds sexy huh.

So that's my latest announcement. I'm getting for real serious about battling the bulge. I signed up on this site called Extrapounds.com. I'll be logging my weight (groan), exercise and what I eat daily. It's going to suck and it's going to be a lot of work but in the end it will all be worth it and if I don't end up being able to become a mother biologically then at least I'll be in much better shape to keep up with the baby I'll adopt!

Wish me luck, send positive thoughts my way and most importantly if you pray.. please think of me.

Here's to SUCCESS!!

Roommates and boiling bunnies

If you've ever seen fatal attraction then you get the boiling bunnies reference. I'm about to talk about a crazy woman.

Only this is not a sad story of a love affair gone wrong. There is absolutely no love lost (or ever had) in this story.

A couple of months ago I wrote about getting a new roommate. She seemed pretty cool at first. A little hyper but nothing overly strange. I didn't even worry much about the fact that she was supposedly engaged to a guy she hadn't seen in 3 years (had gotten engaged via a phone conversation somewhere during the 3yr time span) and for some reason neglected to tell her parents about it. Hey relationships can be tricky, who am I to judge, so I just thought hmm strange but ok.

That lasted all of about 3 weeks. Or until her truck was finally shipped from Portland, OR and she wasn't depending on me for a ride to and from work anymore. In hindsight I should have let her crazy ass take the bus.

She turned out to be a total slob and a nut job. I'm a neat freak. You can come in my house on any given day at any time of day and it will look the same. Everything neat and orderly and in it's proper place. The only difference you may notice is the amount of cat hair on everything. I sweep 2-3 times a week and dust just as often but short of shaving the cat bald there's only so much I can do.

I've never in my life met an adult who simply did not know how to properly wash dishes. Now I'm not being picky when I say that. I'm not talking about a certain technique, or dish liquid to use. I'm talking about Getting Them Clean. I have a dishwasher but I don't use it. I really don't see the point in wasting water and electricity to wash a bowl and a spoon.

I'm one person, I only use one dish at a time and I wash it as soon as I'm done. Even with two people it would take a week to use up enough dishes to fill a dishwasher enough to warrant running it. I don't even have that many dishes. So after a few times of asking her nicely to please wash my dishes by hand if she uses them, I don't have that many and I'd end up with nothing to eat on or with if I threw everything in the dishwasher every time I used it, she started washing mine by hand and putting her one plate and one piece of silverware in the dishwasher.

I ended up re-washing every single thing she used. There was not one single time that I'd come behind her and pull a plate, or bowl or cup out of the dish drainer and not find food still on it. Obvious food, not like a little speck on the rim or something. It was like she just rinsed them off and that was that.

The funny thing is in her response to the ad for a roommate I placed on Craigslist she said.. "my only pet peeve is that I can't stand dirty dishes left in the sink!". Well I guess if you throw them in the dishwasher because you don't know how to freaking wash them you don't have that problem!

It wasn't just the dishes either. This chic BLEW UP my toilet.. and didn't clean it. There is a toilet brush in a handy little decorative stand behind the toilet, but she apparently wasn't able to manage cleaning up after that mess she left either. If there is one thing that grosses me out it's a nasty toilet. We're talking explosive projectile butt vomit all the way up to the rim. AND SHE LEFT IT LIKE THAT!!

I held out for a whole 3 days hoping beyond all hope that she'd clean up after herself but nope, didn't happen. So I finally donned a mask and armed with bleach and a brush brought my potty back to shiny clean whiteness.

I wish I could say her room was ever any better but no. We got in a huge fight a few weeks before she moved out because I found out that she'd been leaving her bedroom windows all the way open. All day and All night. With the air running, with no one home. My cousin and I were sitting in the living room one evening and Renee wasn't home and we kept seeing bugs flying around everywhere.

Now if it's a nice day out I'll crack the windows until early evening then when the inside light starts drawing in flying creatures I shut them. Well I'd shut the windows several hours earlier yet the bugs still buzzed around and we couldn't figure out where the heck they were coming from so I finally peeked in her room to see and sure enough, bugs flying everywhere, windows wide open. I don't exactly live in the ghetto but just a block up isn't exactly the nicest area and there is always a lot of foot traffic on my street. She may as well have put a big welcome in sign out by the road with an arrow pointing to the big air conditioner units that were directly under her windows. "Here step on up, what's mine and hers is yours, help yourself!"

Well I went in to close the windows and stepped over.. hell I don't even know what all I stepped over. I was afraid to pay too close attention. There were half empty and empty pop bottles on the floor, in the closet, food and snack bags and wrappers strewn everywhere, it was disgusting. Mixed in all of that half eaten food were Tupperware containers (of mine!) with leftovers and silverware just laying on clothes, the floor, any empty and not so empty space there was.

Anyway, so we get in a screaming match over that. She refused to close the windows (it was 80 degrees inside!) and said I could just turn the air off. Psh.. Picture me snapping and rolling my neck. Ya it was like that.

So the nut job finally moves out and refuses to return the key to my apartment. She also takes of all things.. my hangers and my one and only steak knife. I have ONE knife, that's it and the hooch takes it. What kind of freak takes someones silverware.

So I call her like 5 times, leaving voice mails because she won't answer and I text her. No reply, no key, no return of my belongings so I go to her office. She works in marketing at the University of Southern Alabama calling alumni to try and get them to buy season passes to the ballgames. She's a glorified ticket agent. I find her office, there is no one there so I leave a note on her desk. I touch nothing but a pen, the notepad is already sitting right on top of her desk. It says simply: "You need to return my key now".

This was last week. She called me a few days later saying she threw away my key, which I completely do NOT believe since I've come home from work on at least 3 occasions since she moved out to find my front door unlocked, bolt and doorknob. She left it unlocked the day she moved out too. Again with the welcome come steal stuff that isn't mine sign. She calls me, spews out I don't have your key or stuff leave me alone like some auctioneer on speed and hangs up on me. I call her back and leave one last voicemail. Renee, you have my stuff, you need to return it or I'm taking you to court.

So Friday at work these two guys come in my office in uniform. I'm like hmm ok maybe they are lost. There are several businesses in the building I work in. Turns out they are campus security and she's filed a complaint saying I'm harassing her and went through her desk. This psycho takes MY key to MY apartment, takes MY stuff, leaves MY door open so anyone can come in and has the nerve to say I'm harassing her?!?!?

The campus cops were really nice, apologized for having to bother me, they thought it was bogus but she complained so they had to follow procedure. The advised me to change the locks on my apartment then sue her crazy ass. They made sure to suggest that I include the cost of changing the locks in with my suit.

Oh and get this.. this is the best part. When she moved in she didn't start her job until in the middle of the week. She was short on money from having to ship her stuff to Alabama from Oregon and airfare. I'm really a nice person so I told her I'd give her until her first check to pay the deposit on the room. She lived with me two months. I never got one penny of that deposit and she left the room trashed. Dirt and food and just nasty everywhere. My cousin, who moved into the room spent a good hour scrubbing the walls, doors (there was pop or something spilled all down the door)and the floors. She had to scrub down the window seals and we swept and mopped twice. The room just stunk.

So I'm going to have my first experience with civil court. I'm not a sue happy kind of person. I'm much more likely to say oh well, cut my losses and move on, but this chic rubbed me the wrong way. Not only is she a nut, took my stuff, still has access to my apartment and stiffed me on money, but she tried to make herself look the victim in all of it. So wish me luck. I'll keep you updated on the progress and if you know any tips on dealing with a crazy ex-roommate let me know!!